I've been struggling with a low grade, constant anxiety the last few days and this evening I was wishing that I could just curl up in bed with a novel and stop thinking for a few minutes.  But Tai and Miriam needed company, and dinner, and help with bedtime, so I sucked it up.  At one point I realized that I'd forgotten my phone in the car, so I ( Read more... )

I want to do better about documenting this pregnancy, because there is the possibility that I won't have another one.  And I should be writing in here more often anyway.  Otherwise my life just goes by and I barely notice, or I don't remember, or reflect or something.  I'm not sure ( Read more... )

Last night was the 31st Annual Sing-it-yourself Messiah and even though we were tired and we hadn't planned ahead, Mom and I managed to go.  It was our fifth year (though we skipped 2006 and 2007 because Grandma was sick, and then dying).  Every year we say we're going to take the classes to learn our vocal parts, but we never do.  Even so, I think ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what it is - maybe it's the weather - but I have been in a most foul mood this last week.  I'm starting to wonder whether I might be depressed.  I've stopped writing, mostly.  (Even for my class.  I missed one week of writing and the week before that I only wrote 5 new pages, double spaced.)  I've found myself hiding out a bit more ( Read more... )

I've been feeling unsettled lately.  Like I'm in the midst of a transition and unable to land on either side of things.  I'm not sure why, maybe because I am still trying to figure out who the heck I am other than Tai's Momma (and I'm still discovering exactly what that means).  Maybe because I don't have a job other than being homemaker and I'm ( Read more... )

We'll see if Tai sleeps long enough for me to get this whole post out of my brain and onto the intartubes. (He's been sleeping since 8:30, but he just started crying a couple of minutes ago. Then he stopped. This is unusual - the stopping without someone coming to rock him back down. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and counting it as progress in ( Read more... )

Without Holidailies to keep me honest, I'm just not so good at getting journal entries together.  Add to this the fact that I forget a thought almost as quickly as I have it, I'm going to stick to bullet points in this entry.  We'll see whether I come back to any topic or not.  I'll do my best!

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Tonight I went over to Mom's to help her bake Christmas cookies.  It's a lengthy process, with meticulous rolling and cutting and careful decoration with colored sugar and nothing else.  It's the same recipe she's used ever since I was a kid, and the same one my Grandma used, and my Aunt as well - though each makes it a little different.  I love ( Read more... )

Tonight was the annual Sing-It-Yourself Messiah at the symphony hall.  Last time I went was 2005, so it was fun to go back, even if I lost my place in the music several times.  There were a couple of other altos in the audience near me, so that helped keep me from sliding up to the soprano part, since that's what Mom sings.  I was surprised at the ( Read more... )

I'm feeling all over the place lately.  Unsettled somehow.  Taking long walks helps in that my mind is mostly quiet and my body is moving.  Yoga helps for the same reason, and the stretching helps to relax me in a way walking doesn't.  I'm glad I kept going to the Moms and Babies yoga - it's getting better for both Tai and I, and they're even ( Read more... )