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In the last couple of days I have started to feel good again. I remember how lucky I am to have Tai and how happy I am to be his Mommy. I am only starting to see how dark I was now that I am getting a glimpse of the light.

Not coincidentally, I have been on a new dose of meds for a couple of weeks. I am relieved to be feeling better, like life ( Read more... )

My main introduction (completed after the last friending-frenzy thingummy where I actually participated) is here.

I haven't updated my journal in a while.  As usual, that's not because I have nothing to say, but because I just haven't gotten my butt in the chair to type it out, and when I try I end up telling myself I sound like a whiny fuckup and ( Read more... )

I had a shit week.  Big panic attack last monday night (prompted by Tai throwing up), and ended up spending all day Tuesday and much of the day Wednesday holding myself together by the skin of my teeth.  I'm still working to get it through my head that every parent makes mistakes, and every parent has things that are difficult to handle.  No one ( Read more... )

I'm having a tough, self-pitying day.  ( Read more... )

I figured just in case there were people out there in my FL wondering where the heck I went - I'd give a brief update.  For the past few weeks I've been struggling with my anxiety stuff.   The last week has been particularly hard.  I'm working it - doing therapy as usual and I'm meeting with my psychiatrist for a med check (finally) on Tuesday.   ( Read more... )

I'm not sure what it is - maybe it's the weather - but I have been in a most foul mood this last week.  I'm starting to wonder whether I might be depressed.  I've stopped writing, mostly.  (Even for my class.  I missed one week of writing and the week before that I only wrote 5 new pages, double spaced.)  I've found myself hiding out a bit more ( Read more... )