This article from feministe made me think about the way recovery from abuse is never really over, I think. You never really get over the impulse to apologize, to minimize, normalize behavior. Never get over the need to "share blame" even though you know it was a form of denial.

Not everything in the article resonated with me, but it struck me anyway ( Read more... )

The major, most insidious lie that the virgin/slut dichotomy produces about female desire, isn’t that good girls don’t have it but bad girls do, it’s really that no female has sexual desires, legitimate or otherwise. And the difference between good girls and bad girls is simply as a gate keeper: good girls are good gate keepers, bad girls aren’t.
( Read more... )

I had an unexpected vision today on my way home from class, and I know what prompted it (Watching You by Rodney Atkins), but that doesn't make it any less vivid or thought-provoking/sorrowful. (Just a warning, what follows is not very bright and shiney, and could produce tears. Don't read if you're not okay with that sort of thing.)
( Read more... )

I glossed over this in my earlier posting. But I need to keep a record of this, so that I don't have to question my memory later.

3/17/10 beginning 3:14am

( Ex-husband ranting under cut, click at your own risk. )

Although this article focuses more on single moms, I’m thankful I’m not the only one observing this odd phenomenon: Cornered by Recession, Unmarried Women Go It Alone - Working In These Times

I’ve often privately observed with bitter dissatisfaction the financially unstable position that my current relationship status has put me in. Going from an ( Read more... )

I had one of those really odd, and perhaps ill-timed, moments this evening. Scott and I were fooling around and playing, and all of a sudden a few pieces fell into place in my brain, and it occurred to me how truly very... messed up, Dilan was about some things.

When we were still trying to talk things out shortly before I left, we were talking ( Read more... )

"I did write you letters. I sent them. I know for a fact that of the five that I sent, at least three of them were destroyed because the trucks got blown up by I.E.D.'s."
~ Dilan, 2 days ago over the phone

... Pieces of my heart were blown up in Afghanistan. It seems a small thing to cry over... A selfish thing, really, given that real people were ( Read more... )

I spent over three hours on the phone with Dilan tonight.

He wanted to know how I was doing, and we discussed pets and finances again, though basically the agreement comes to, we have a direct deposit of $600 set to go into my account each month (which comes out of his check before he ever see's it, so he can't accidentally spend it.) And... we'll ( Read more... )

I dislike using the word "abuse" to describe my relationship with Dilan. I feel that it can be easily over-used, and flailed around like a flag for attention. I don't want attention for the hurts I have endured in my past relationship-- mostly, I simply want to move on from it. But I don't think I can move on from all of it until I've had a chance ( Read more... )

They say that being an Army (or insert your branch here) Spouse is one of the hardest jobs in the world... Others say that it's the Soldier's job that's the hardest, and that every Service Member in the United States Military is automatically a hero...

I must, respectfully, disagree.
Being a Soldier, does not a Husband make.
Neither, does ( Read more... )