Everything is Scary

Feb 04, 2013 20:16

Everything is fucking falling apart around my life right now. I'm so scared I won't be able to hold it together. My boss just got fired-the boss I love who has been looking out for me since Marissa left. I have no way to learn this song I so desperately need to learn for for Josh's wedding, and now Robin is getting all excited about it and emailing me. Am I going to get fired next? My father told me that my novella "isn't for Josh," that it's not Josh's kind of thing, but that's okay because not everyone's writing is for everyone else. I've heard that my grandfather's body is swollen like a balloon and that he's been in excruciating pain. I wrote John another goodbye email, since we've picked up correspondence, now that he's in South America. He said it confused him. It was really thorough and expressive, so I can only assume that he just skimmed it or something. I had more pains in my stomach today, pains that I haven't had for awhile. I can tell I'm very stressed out. Jorge didn't even bother me today because he could tell I was that stressed out.

I feel so sick and sad. Everything is vying for #1 in the fear or worry or tragic-thing category. God, I hope I'm not fired next: Everyone talks shit about everyone there...but I'm afraid for how much they've heard me talk about the owner. Maybe I'm going to lose my job. I've had stability for the first time, not even for a month, and maybe they'll fire me next. I've been such an idiot.

I'm so sad.

novella, father, adrian, john, work, ta sciences, clarissa, josh, marissa, stress, jorge, grandfather, love, my writing

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