(no subject)
So much sadness. I don't know how to not be sad, I think, sometimes.
I miss John so much, it hurts. When will I let go of this? I don't know what's best for myself. Maybe I do. I don't know. Nothing is written in stone, but I do know facts.
Frank wrote me at 3:30 in the morning that he thinks about me a lot.
I need something new. I just want to cry. I just want something to take this pain away. I've been in so much pain for such a long time. It sucks to be in so much pain and very, very slowly hold it all in privately. I've been told that I have sad eyes. I get annoyed when Adrian calls me "Sun Child" because I'm so sad. I wish someone would just save me from this. I know I have to get myself out of it, and I try my best, but I really do wish someone could just do it for me. I am just so sad. Maybe I'll never get over John. How does this work? I'm stuck. I don't want to go on anti-depressants. I don't want to live my life this sadly, though. But no, artificial happiness won't cut it for me. I need something good to happen this week.
I miss John so much, it hurts. When will I let go of this? I don't know what's best for myself. Maybe I do. I don't know. Nothing is written in stone, but I do know facts.
Frank wrote me at 3:30 in the morning that he thinks about me a lot.
I need something new. I just want to cry. I just want something to take this pain away. I've been in so much pain for such a long time. It sucks to be in so much pain and very, very slowly hold it all in privately. I've been told that I have sad eyes. I get annoyed when Adrian calls me "Sun Child" because I'm so sad. I wish someone would just save me from this. I know I have to get myself out of it, and I try my best, but I really do wish someone could just do it for me. I am just so sad. Maybe I'll never get over John. How does this work? I'm stuck. I don't want to go on anti-depressants. I don't want to live my life this sadly, though. But no, artificial happiness won't cut it for me. I need something good to happen this week.