Even more depressed. Suicidal again. Progress is fragile.

Today was shitty.

Am i strong enough to find a way to better myself from it? Will it defeat me?

I've felt isolated and depressed for days. And i wonder, has anyone noticed?

another mediocre weekend.

headache, nausea, left snook in the restaurant, was driven everywhere, refused to get out of the car, napped most of the night, had a single drink of beer, elbowed in the nose, misunderstandings that lead to negative feelings, was pocket dialed over 15 times, car refused to run and died in my parking lot and no one helped ( Read more... )

I'm depressed. showing classic signs. eating more and with little regard to my health. tired. staying up later, sleeping later. showering less. anxious. barely making it to work on time. disinterested.

for weeks. it's not super consistent.  i can still laugh, be grateful, and enjoy myself. but, i know what will happen if i pretend it's not ( Read more... )

passed out drunk and woke up with my belt tampered with...

snook's car overheated, spewed coolant all over the El Acapulco parking lot...

panicked and dug nails into snook's shoulder while riding in the tow truck...

snook's fat mooch of a brother ate my Japanese food and generally got on my nerves for most of a 24hr period...

i have no idea how i feel ( Read more... )

nothing kills your morale at work like having a supervisor for another department come fuss at your entire team for not working hard enough even though most of you are an hour ahead of required productivity....

can it be Saturday yet?

it's Saturday night...maybe the fourth Saturday I've had to work in a row...lots of overtime at work...this is the most tired I've been on a Saturday night in a couple of months...I feel like all I do is eat, sleep, kitty chores, work, and prep for work...i'm having to skip a hour or more of sleep a day just to feel like i'm actually living my own ( Read more... )

This new weirdo, panicky pms thing can seriously go fuck itself...it's fucking up my progress...

so, all the crap from the shit storm is now starting to resemble organized piles and sacks of crap, ready for processing and disposal....

plans are in the works...some are still in the very, very early stages...

in a matter of time, all of this crap will be nothing more than fertilizer...