Journal Prompt #1 Going over the list, can you identify 5-6 issues that you have a consistent pattern of struggling with? You can identify with many, but try to narrow it down. An issue you struggle with might be missing from my list. Add the issue as best as you can.

- Consistent guilt or shame - i'm definitely "lessor than" others who are non- ( Read more... )

Journal Prompt #1 In processing the first component of grief, the childhood you had, write five to ten issues or situations that make up the well of grief.

before i knew what it was i've felt like i living in a constant state of grief. i didn't have it validated by an external source until recently.

- a NPD mother who didn't or couldn't get ( Read more... )

Journal Prompt #1

Describe an enmeshed relationship with an immature parent or caregiver growing up, if applicable to you.

1. What did it feel like? (burdening, special, intense, overwhelming) - i, a child, was expected to have all of the experience and emotional acuteness of an adult while providing emotionally for her, an actual adult.
2. Did ( Read more... )

he doesn't want you. he never wanted you. you started hanging out on a misunderstanding. he never invited you out, you're just stupid and don't understand cultural references. he never wanted you.

he only hang out with you out of obligation and guilt. he doesn't want to. he doesn't like you. he's never liked you. you were never more than a ( Read more... )

nononononono one not-coffee is not going to undo months of careful progress

one day of bad eating is not going to undo months of consistency

i've lost weight. i'm not fat. i'm not thin but i'm not overweight.

i do like him as a person. he's funny. gentle. competent. but i will never feel secure with him as a partner.

i've hung out with him ( Read more... )

Journal Prompt 1 Write out examples throughout your life where you might have been in limerence. You might recall these as crushes, but might they have been more than that? *What drew you to the person in the context of your family or caregivers?

Johnathan. Steve? Tanith? Joshua? Ed. Ian. But Martin always. Maybe it's more than that with him idk. ( Read more... )

there's always something "correct" or more optimal that i could be doing but i don't know what it is and whatever it is i am doing is "wrong" somehow, i just don't know how yet.

this is from years of playing her game of guess what rule you're breaking i just made it up. you're playing a game but you don't know you're playing the game and the rules ( Read more... )

why would you bother to pursue me first when every single time i wanted to see you something came up or you were too busy. you said you didn't have time but then only relented when i said i was off the train already. you only let me in because you felt guilty. you didn't really want to see me that night. you talked on the phone loudly while " ( Read more... )

Journal Prompt #1 Write out a list of the things you've done in both childhood and adulthood to get a parent to be less abusive or to see you.

In childhood a lifetime of trying to appease, trying to be perfect, then trying to be small enough to not incur her wrath when i knew her love was unattainable, walking on eggshells to avoid setting off ( Read more... )

i think i walked by my rapist yesterday. he was a sitting on the library steps (freshly? he looked clean and did not smell) homeless and performatively wailing (with no tears) and he had a shopping cart stuff full of his belongings including a guitar case piled high maybe 7 or 8 ft. (my first thought was where the heck do you get a full size ( Read more... )