So I know I'm updating a ton but what can I say? I'm making up for lost time, and I'm snowed in and bored. Anyway, the point is. Actually there are several points
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I think some of more taboo kinks in fiction (i.e. incest, beastiality, etc.) are appealing sometimes for the simple fact that they are in a fictional piece. Even if it is real people fic, the fact of the matter is that situation most likely didn't occur. So it becomes a sort of safe haven for pushing limits and allowing people to perform a fantasy in a sense.
There are some kinks that appeal to me in only theory itself, so fanfic becomes a nice way for me to experience them because I wouldn't want to do so in real life. Incest being one, breathplay, watersports being others. However a fic that has these in a summary makes my eyes goes wide and I want to read it.
I think our minds are always curious to want to read or explore or sometimes experience the so called "taboo" just to see why it is so.
I agree totally with your summation, but I'm curious...do all taboo things appeal to you simply because they're taboo? Or are there only certain ones? Usually it's only certain ones, so why would those appeal to you while others do not? If it was merely the taboo factor, wouldn't each of those things hold their own appeal?
Good question. No, not all things appeal to me, personally, because they are taboo. Some kinks just turn me on for the sheer fact that I find them hot.
I guess when it comes to more taboo subjects like incest, etc. (I hate to keep using incest as an example, but it's sort of the first thing that pops into my mind), it is in fact illegal(in most places at least) and as a society we're not supposed be turned on by it. Like you mention, in reality, I know that I'm disgusted by it, but when it comes to fic, if it's handled well and well written I can enjoy it.
I guess all kink is taboo, but some more so than others.
For me, the most obvious one is het/boys. I like the occasional foray into penisland in fic. I 'ship, I write, I read. Turns me on a lot. Nothing wrong with it.
In person--no. Gross. Wrong. Completely freaks me out. I've tried. This disconnect between fantasy and reality has had an effect on my personal life.
It works the other way too. I have personal kinks that are so much fail online. They are just not done right. I think that's why it's so important for me to write the D/s series the way I do. To show alternatives to the reality as well as the fic that's out there.
I wrote about incest here, as part of the ficathon.
Haha I can get that with your kinks too, definitely, though I think it's more a disconnect between the audience and the writer, as the writer is often (in any taboo, but in some more than others) writing a) for himself and b) simply for the kink/shock value
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I suppose for me its the fantasy side of it? Something exciting, something different, that will probably not occur with me (or, I guess I'm just assuming that seeing as I've had so little of a life?) D/s I first really learned about/got into with the Xena Conqueror stories, and even now, if I'm in the mood for something like that, since I can't just go out and do it... I turn back to those stories. It fulfills a need, that I don't really know yet if I actually have in real life.
Some of the other kinks though... When I was younger, and really not even remotely age appropriate for any of it, incest kinda grabbed my attention, but always m/f. I don't really know why, or what it was about it, but for awhile that was my thing. But only in fic related venues. Not only do I find it taboo but I find it unconscionable in real life. Now, if I read it in fic it's usually f/f, though if there are well written ones that don't completely wig me out on the pairings I could probably do those to. Reading this and thinking about it, it's
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What you said in the first part of your comment makes a lot of sense. I think that was very, very true for me, pre-D/s. It was sort of testing the waters, reading it, learning about it, without actually putting myself in a compromising position. It's a safe outlet, and that's always nice.
I feel like the earliest forms of fanfic were so uncensored and unprecedented that a lot of people in our age bracket read things and saw things that were not necessarily age appropriate. We found new things, we learned new things about the world, we learned new things about the possibilities in our own lives (here, that obviously applies to sex). I can't say that my tastes in what I've read have changed very much, fundamentally over the years. Even pre-lesbian (not actually, but pre-realisation), the things I read were mainly f/f. There were exceptions of course, but, like you with your D/s explorations, I read f/f sort of as a gage, to see where it led me, to fulfill an unknown need.
Yeah, that's it. It was safe. Can experience with out fear, see how things feel in your own mind before you actually try it out.
What I look back on now, having realized and accepted my sexuality as much as I have, fic was the start of that realization. Though I was into sam/jack and harm/sarah and john/delenn pairings and fic when I was younger and xena/gabrielle was really the only variation on that theme, what really affected me, opened a whole new world to me was the f/f stuff I read. Like, I could talk about (though I look back on that embarassed as all hell now) the het stuff (not hard core anything, but just the pairings) with my dad (who pretty much raised me) the f/f stuff was my little secret that I never shared with anyone. It wasn't until later, when I started to figure things out, that that secrecy made any sense to me.
I whole-heartedly concur haha. Though Xena was never a fandom I got into (I know, I know, bad lesbian, no biscuit), what you described is basically exactly how I was with the SVU fandom, with Alex/Olivia. I can just imagine all the people reading my fic at the time were probably like "Yeah, she's a little lesbian, she just doesn't know it yet." XD
This is an awesome discussion. There are so many things that I'm into in fic and wouldn't at all be into in RL. Like... totally had the urge to make Annaleigh wet the bed in one of my fics, and it got me all hot and bothered, just the idea of it, but that's something that would turn me way off RL. Maybe it's the fact that on paper there's no mess to clean up, no gross wet feeling on your sheets, no particular smells, know what I mean
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=D So the Annaleigh fic, well, it was an urge within a fic I'm already writing... so I might incorporate that in at some point >D I've posted the first part on my community http://community.livejournal.com/wickedly_real if you want to read it.
So, the danger thing, yeah. I think people who aren't experienced in the lifestyle might be freaked out about it, or people who are experienced in the lifestyle in the wrong way. I'm sure there are tops out there that have fucked up with things because they don't care enough to learn the right way to do them. Which is a related but unrelated topic in fiction - people inexperienced in the lifestyle trying to write it and like you said, writing it for the kink/shock value rather than the desire to express a D/s relationship in all its aspects.
Okay, I joined but I have to wait for you or your comod to approve so get on that! :-p
And YES. To your entire second paragraph. Thankfully, I've found that most of my fandoms are pretty good about at least researching and not writing for shock value, even if they don't have the experience. rysler is an excellent example of someone who doesn't have much RL D/s experience but writes it incredibly well anyway, because she's just awesome like that.
I'm glad you're enjoying the discussion haha. It's fun. Also, I know nothing about you, other than that you write good Gelphie D/s fic haha. Tell me moreee. You can also IM me on AIM, if you wish. I'm always up for new friends. :)
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There are some kinks that appeal to me in only theory itself, so fanfic becomes a nice way for me to experience them because I wouldn't want to do so in real life. Incest being one, breathplay, watersports being others. However a fic that has these in a summary makes my eyes goes wide and I want to read it.
I think our minds are always curious to want to read or explore or sometimes experience the so called "taboo" just to see why it is so.
Anyways that's just my two cents.
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I guess when it comes to more taboo subjects like incest, etc. (I hate to keep using incest as an example, but it's sort of the first thing that pops into my mind), it is in fact illegal(in most places at least) and as a society we're not supposed be turned on by it. Like you mention, in reality, I know that I'm disgusted by it, but when it comes to fic, if it's handled well and well written I can enjoy it.
I guess all kink is taboo, but some more so than others.
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In person--no. Gross. Wrong. Completely freaks me out. I've tried. This disconnect between fantasy and reality has had an effect on my personal life.
It works the other way too. I have personal kinks that are so much fail online. They are just not done right. I think that's why it's so important for me to write the D/s series the way I do. To show alternatives to the reality as well as the fic that's out there.
I wrote about incest here, as part of the ficathon.
Reply
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Some of the other kinks though... When I was younger, and really not even remotely age appropriate for any of it, incest kinda grabbed my attention, but always m/f. I don't really know why, or what it was about it, but for awhile that was my thing. But only in fic related venues. Not only do I find it taboo but I find it unconscionable in real life. Now, if I read it in fic it's usually f/f, though if there are well written ones that don't completely wig me out on the pairings I could probably do those to. Reading this and thinking about it, it's ( ... )
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I feel like the earliest forms of fanfic were so uncensored and unprecedented that a lot of people in our age bracket read things and saw things that were not necessarily age appropriate. We found new things, we learned new things about the world, we learned new things about the possibilities in our own lives (here, that obviously applies to sex). I can't say that my tastes in what I've read have changed very much, fundamentally over the years. Even pre-lesbian (not actually, but pre-realisation), the things I read were mainly f/f. There were exceptions of course, but, like you with your D/s explorations, I read f/f sort of as a gage, to see where it led me, to fulfill an unknown need.
Reply
What I look back on now, having realized and accepted my sexuality as much as I have, fic was the start of that realization. Though I was into sam/jack and harm/sarah and john/delenn pairings and fic when I was younger and xena/gabrielle was really the only variation on that theme, what really affected me, opened a whole new world to me was the f/f stuff I read. Like, I could talk about (though I look back on that embarassed as all hell now) the het stuff (not hard core anything, but just the pairings) with my dad (who pretty much raised me) the f/f stuff was my little secret that I never shared with anyone. It wasn't until later, when I started to figure things out, that that secrecy made any sense to me.
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I have NO idea why, but I really like reading it.
But RL? FUCK NO.
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So, the danger thing, yeah. I think people who aren't experienced in the lifestyle might be freaked out about it, or people who are experienced in the lifestyle in the wrong way. I'm sure there are tops out there that have fucked up with things because they don't care enough to learn the right way to do them. Which is a related but unrelated topic in fiction - people inexperienced in the lifestyle trying to write it and like you said, writing it for the kink/shock value rather than the desire to express a D/s relationship in all its aspects.
I <3 this discussion. LOL.
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And YES. To your entire second paragraph. Thankfully, I've found that most of my fandoms are pretty good about at least researching and not writing for shock value, even if they don't have the experience. rysler is an excellent example of someone who doesn't have much RL D/s experience but writes it incredibly well anyway, because she's just awesome like that.
I'm glad you're enjoying the discussion haha. It's fun. Also, I know nothing about you, other than that you write good Gelphie D/s fic haha. Tell me moreee. You can also IM me on AIM, if you wish. I'm always up for new friends. :)
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