starting over.

it sucks when you dont have friends like you used to.

there isnt anybody that i can call up and be like.. can we just go for a quick ride. to talk and relax. nobody will do that. nobody will do anything.

my birthday is wednesday.

i feel like an old hag.

love u

xo

jes

i just went outside to smoke a cigarette on the front steps... of COURSE its raining out... and i kept thinking over and over again

i am so SICK of being everybodys FUCKING afterthought.

then i looked down and there was a small dead bird lying there.

all i could think was..

of course

how fitting.

i am so fucking pissed right now. i really cannot stop bawling my eyes out. my parents really fucking suck sometimes. they never help me out w. anything financially.. whatever thats fine. BUT alot of people get helped out when they get their first car. most people i know anyway. my parents COULD help me out... or they could at least not put ( Read more... )

ive been thinking.... well im always thinking but i was thinking about the choices that i make. particularly the people that i have chosen to have in my life. I have very few close friends... i tend to circulate from one group to another. but ive noticed that i kind of "recycle" friends. The people that are bad for me... that i will seperate ( Read more... )

Am i the only one that is TERRIFIED of being in love. It used to be the thing i wanted most. I just wanted somebody to love me, love me more than anything or anyone else. And now i have just that. He loves me the most. And it is scary. I am scared what will happen if it falls apart, i am scared what will happen if this is the one. Did i find ( Read more... )

I really miss writing in this thing. I dont really have that much to say but its nice to just.. write. Probably because nobody in my house ever listens to anything that comes out of my mouth ( Read more... )

ok so i should be gettin ready for work right now. BUT im drinking coffee and feeling the warmth of the sun shining on me through the window. ID MUCH rather be doing this. and my cat apparently feels the same way. shes lying in the sun doing nothing.... why cant i ( Read more... )

i really need to start watching the weather. Its freaking COLD and snowing out. wasnt it beautiful and sunny yesterday? Thank god i am going to florida soon. I NEED this vacation more than anything right now.
I feel good right now though. I am sitting in my bedroom drinking coffee and watching Ellen. What could be better?