this is why i get headaches.
Am i the only one that is TERRIFIED of being in love. It used to be the thing i wanted most. I just wanted somebody to love me, love me more than anything or anyone else. And now i have just that. He loves me the most. And it is scary. I am scared what will happen if it falls apart, i am scared what will happen if this is the one. Did i find the right person? Am i wasting time with the wrong person? I dont know and i dont know if i ever will know. am i supposed to take a break and look for somebody thats better for me? I dont think so, but how can i be sure? I wanted to be somebodys everything and i got just that. I AM HIS EVERYTHING. and i think thats what is driving this wedge between us. i want him to have some things of his own. i want him to have HIS life and i want me to have MY life but i want them to intertwine. but he just took on my life. and it can be suffocating. i love him, i love him ALOT. i love the way he makes me feel like i am the only thing thats important because... nobody has ever made me feel like that. My family certainly doesnt make me feel loved, and it feels nice to FINALLY feel that way. I am happy right now, but i am scared. i dont want to make a mistake. i dont want to marry the wrong person. I guess im just going to take things real slow. I feel like my heart wants me to go with the flow, see what happens, enjoy what i have while i have it, but my head takes me in 20 other directions. i wish i could just TURN MY OVER ACTIVE BRAIN OFF.