In Caelum Intramus 6
Title: In Caelum Intramus (We enter into Heaven) 6/
Author: Meg-chan (xme_chanx)
Pairing: Shou/Saga
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst, yaoi
Warnings: sex, angst, mentions of self mutilation, anorexia, depression
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, I wish I did. I do own the story and will use brute force if you steal it. No beta.
Summary: We were finally together, everything was perfect, and then I found out the truth. He hid so much from me, but I was ok with that if he’d stay with me, and promise me never to do it again.
X-Posted: My journal, aliceinloveland
Chapter 6
He still doesn’t think he could die. I can see it in his eyes.
“Saga, I’m serious.” I told him. He nodded.
“I’ll be fine Shou.” He swallowed the zinc with some juice and smiled at me. He still has no idea how hard this is for me. How hard it is to see the one you love depriving themselves for a warped image of beauty.
Saga was real beauty. He didn’t need any of that.
When we went to sleep that night, I pulled Saga to me, snuggling up against his smooth back. He fell asleep quickly, and I shortly followed him.
I woke up suddenly with stabbing pains in my abdomen. It was still dark outside, I noticed. I clutched my stomach, it hurt so badly. I gasped as I felt another stabbing pain. I felt nauseous, but tried rolling over to go back to sleep. If I could sleep, I’d feel better when I woke up. Saga was snoring softly, his back to me. I didn’t want to wake him up. I let out a whimper as the pain got worse. I hurried to the bathroom, feeling my stomach rebelling at its contents. As soon as I reached the commode, I retched violently. I started sobbing, keeping my eyes closed as my stomach emptied itself.
Saga
“Shou?” I called sleepily. I knew he wasn’t in bed with me anymore, I couldn’t feel him there. I heard sounds from the bathroom, so I headed towards the brightness emanating from the small room. Shou was bent over the toilet, vomiting violently.
“Shou? Are you ok?” I asked. He turned to me, tears running down his cheeks.
“I don’t feel good.” He whispered.
“Oh god, Shou, what happened? Do you want to go to the hospital?” I rubbed his back gently.
“No, I’m ok.” He said hoarsely. I nodded and moved to help him up. His eyes went wide and he leaned over the toilet bowl again, stomach heaving. He coughed and gagged, having reached the point where nothing but stomach acid was coming up anymore. He collapsed against me and wiped his eyes. He sobbed harshly once more and quieted, taking shaky breaths.
“Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” I asked quietly. He shook his head.
“I-I’m ok, I think it was something I ate.” He whispered hoarsely.
“If you change your mind, just let me know, ok Shou-chan?” I kissed his forehead. He nodded.
“I’m ok, Sagacchi.” I helped him stand up and brush his teeth before putting him back in bed.
“Are you sure you’re ok, Shou-chan?” I asked as I pulled the covers over us both.
“I’m fine, Saga-kun. I just want to sleep now.” He rasped. I snuggled up behind him, wrapping my arm around his waist.
“I love you.” I whispered.
“I love you too.”
I woke up at about 8, Shouless.
“Shou-chan?” I called.
“Saga-kun, I can’t go to practice today.” Shou stepped outside of the bathroom to meet me. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his voice was hoarse and sore sounding.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, brushing his bangs off his forehead.
“Not good. I just wanna lie down. Will you make me some tea?” he asked. I hugged him.
“Go lie down, love, I’ll be there in a minute.” I sighed and grabbed my cell off the bedstand. I called Nao to tell him Shou was sick.
“Moshi moshi!”
“Nao-kun?”
“Saga-kun?”
“Shou is sick, so we won’t be coming to practice today. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” I said sincerely.
“Iie, Saga-kun! Does he need anything?” Good old Nao.
“I think he just needs some rest. If he gets worse I’m taking him to the hospital.” I told Nao.
“If you do, call me. Good luck, and don’t get sick too!” Nao advised.
“Alright, bye Nao.” I clicked the phone shut.
“Shou? What kind of tea do you want?” I called.
“I don’t care.” Came his hoarse reply.
“Alrighty.” I made some regular green tea and took it to him. I sat down next to him and rubbed his back gently.
“How are you doing?” I asked.
“Horrible. Sagacchi, my stomach hurts so badly.” Shou leaned into me, sipping his tea delicately.
“It’ll be ok. You want to watch a movie?” I asked. Shou nodded. He looked adorably pathetic. I grabbed blankets and pillows off his bed, taking them into the living room to build a sick-station on the couch.
“Chiko, move it.” I commanded, and he hopped off the couch. I arranged Shou’s bedding nicely, then went back to retrieve Shou. He laughed when I attempted to pick him up. He stood quickly and walked to the couch, throwing himself into the blankets.
“What do you want to watch, Shou-chan?” Shou shrugged.
“Something scary?” I asked, scrunching up my face and wiggling my fingers at him. He giggled then shook his head.
“How about Deathnote?” I asked.
“Sounds good, Sagacchi.” He smiled. I got the movie started and then curled up next to Shou on the couch.
“Do you want some popcorn?” I asked. He looked thoughtful for a minute.
“Hai! Onegai, Sagacchi.” I smiled at him.
“Sure thing, Shou-chan.” I kissed his forehead and went into the kitchen. I got popcorn out of the cabinets, pausing to check the calorie content.
“If I eat this, It’ll be ok.” I mused quietly. I decided to go ahead and eat now, while he was paying attention. I just won’t eat too much. He can’t know that I don’t want to stop, that not eating makes me feel better. It’s my body, to do as I will with it. I’m going to be fine, it’s not like I completely don’t eat. I still eat. I just have a goal; I don’t know why he doesn’t understand that. I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
“Saga, are you coming back? Will you bring me some soymilk?” Shou called.
“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” I shoved the popcorn into the microwave, and pulled down glasses for drinks. I poured Shou some chocolate soymilk and myself some water. When the microwave beeped, I pulled out the popcorn and poured it into a bowl.
Shou smiled at me as I brought the snacks to him.
He cuddled into me as we watched the movie. Every now and then he’d put a piece of popcorn in my mouth, before putting one in his. He smiled so big when I took them. I pinched his cheek.
“Stop being so cute, Shou-chan.” I teased.
“Iie, Sagacchi. You stop being so beautiful.” He smiled. I tried to smile back, and half succeeded.
“You still don’t believe me.” His face fell.
“Ah, itai!” he cried, clutching his sides.
“Shou, what’s wrong? Are you going to be sick again?” I felt frantic, Shou was gasping and whimpering, his pain plainly evident on his face.
“Sagacchi, I’m going to be sick again.” He dashed from the room.
“What do I do now?” I asked no one in particular. I got up to find my phone and called Nao.
“Moshi Moshi!” Nao said cheerfully.
“Nao! I need you to come over; we may have to take Shou to the hospital.”
~Notes~
Saga’s POV makes its appearance.
It’s not that much longer, but it’s still longer, so NYAH!
5 | 7