In Caelum Intramus 5
Title: In Caelum Intramus (We enter into Heaven) 5/
Author: Meg (xme_chanx)
Pairing: Shou/Saga
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst, yaoi
Warnings: sex, angst, mentions of self mutilation, anorexia, depression, I do not use a beta.
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys, I wish I did. I do own the story and will use brute force if you steal it.
Summary: We were finally together, everything was perfect, and then I found out the truth. He hid so much from me, but I was ok with that if he’d stay with me, and promise me never to do it again.
X-Posted: My journal, aliceinloveland, SagaxShou
Chapter 5
When I got home Saga was asleep on the couch. He had brought Chiko over and they were curled up cutely. Chiko wagged his tail at me, but didn’t leave Saga. I laughed when I noticed he had been watching “Alice in Wonderfilm”. I crept closer to him and planted a soft kiss on his sleeping lips. His eyelids fluttered open and he smiled.
“Ohayou, Shou-chan.” He said through a yawn. I hugged him.
“I brought Chiko over, I hope that’s ok. I went to my apartment to feed him and he seemed lonely. So I figured I’d bring him over.” He mumbled into my shoulder. I nodded.
“You know I love Chiko.” I patted the dog on the head.
“I got you onigiri. And I have bagels, miso mix, rice, a sushi bento you’re welcome to share with me, lots of vegetables for stir fry, and-”
“Shou! It’s ok, I get the idea.” Saga cut in with a smile.
“I’d like an onigiri, please, Shou-chan. Did you bring anything for Chiko?” Saga blinked expectantly at me. I raised my arms in defeat.
“I didn’t know he’d be here, Sagacchi. Otherwise I would have. Would he like a carrot? Or a radish that looks like his master?” I said with a giggle, pulling a daikon out of one of my grocery sacks. Saga glared at me.
“I do not look like a radish.” He grumbled. I chucked a riceball at him and went to the kitchen to put away the rest of the groceries. I sighed as I heard a gagging sound and a cough. I grabbed a glass and filled it with water before hurrying back out to Saga. I wasn’t quite prepared for what I saw. He was sitting on the couch with the onigiri in his hand; only a tiny bite was missing. He took another miniscule bite, and coughed and gagged again. I sighed and came closer, handing him the water glass. He smiled sheepishly as he took it from me.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked.
“Eating.” He said the word like it was poison. I sighed.
“Can I feed it to you?” I asked. He shook his head.
“I just don’t want it. It tastes fine, I just don’t want it, I’m not hungry. Can you put it in the fridge?” Saga handed it to me and headed towards the bedroom. He clucked at Chiko and the dog followed him. I sighed. He didn’t even give me a chance to respond.
A few minutes later I walked into the bedroom with a glass of juice and some of the zinc supplements.
“Sagacchi?” I asked gently. He rolled over in bed to face me.
“What do you want?” He asked tiredly. I held out the juice. Saga sighed and sat up.
“I got these vitamins for you. They’re supposed to help.” I smiled reassuringly. Saga gave me a skeptical look.
“Help what?” He asked. I froze, should I lie? No, that’s bad.
“Increase your appetite. It’s zinc.” I said softly. Saga gave me a hard stare. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, I handed the pills to him.
“Will you take them? For me?” I asked. Saga glared at the pills in his hand.
“Am I going to want to eat too much?” He asked quietly. I shook my head. He inched closer to me on the bed, and finally pulled me to him.
“I love you Shou-chan.” He whispered. I kissed his cheek.
“I love you, Sagacchi.”
“Why do you care so much, Shou-chan?” he asked, sounding tired.
“Because I love you, and I want you to be healthy, mentally and physically. I want you to feel good about yourself, and know that there are people who love you, and would miss you if you…” I trailed off, not wanting to admit what could eventually happen.
“If I what?” Saga’s piercing eyes searched my face carefully. I sighed.
“If you get sick, really sick, and if you… die.” I whispered the last word. The terrible word that meant loneliness, heartache, and the loss of the part of myself that was Saga.
~Notes~
Holy frick, this is depressing. Yeah, it’s short. I’m sorry! Next one will be longer.
Comments are appreciated.
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