i can't stop thinking about lauren lately.. i can't post things on facebook cuz then my mom thikns i'm depressed again, freaks out and makes me explain my whole life.. i can't even post song lyrics or anything imaginative or creative or twisted because she doesn't get it.. i can only update with true event status' like, today i stubbed my toe, or ( Read more... )

god i miss lauren.. thats all i do is write her name.. on everything.. and hear her voice in my head.. even little phrases like "oh patrick" or "oh pamela" or "why thank you".. i still don't get why "everything happens for a reason".. i love you lollipop.. this is the only place i'm not scared to express it.. i feel so out of place with everyone.. ( Read more... )

dad's sick again overnight.. prolly pneumonia again.. would be the third time.. its easy for him to get it with his disease.. which scares the hell out of me because he'll wait so long to go to the doctor and sarcoidosis is the same way bernie mac died by having pneumonia ( Read more... )

i love tyler lindbloom......................... eep!

ugh i have writers block.. well i'm not so sure its writers block or just lack of time to sit down and write.. and just focus.. he consumes me and i don't want it any other way.. he makes me smile constantly.. he treats me like a princess.. he calls.. he never acts like someone else.. he's amazing.. god i want to show him that.. i am happy.. holy ( Read more... )

it hurts

i am so fucking lost..

at least i have a good life minus the love thing..

meh...

i don't wanna be lost anymore..

Learning To Fly lyrics ( Read more... )

i want to die..

so horribly..

thats all i want and no one knows..

i feel so alone
and i'm scared

so tonight what used to be a crush has been recycled into pure hatred ( Read more... )