explainging things to the in-laws

[verovladamir]

FH (Dan) and I are having our reception at Potawatomi casino. We're really excited about it. We went the other day to meet with the catering manager (a friend of ours) to talk about what we wanted regarding food. We are getting the cake free, doing a full sit-down dinner, and serving pizzas later in the night. Dan's parents are insisting that we

Comments

[neoqbacca]

Can you skip the pizzas and do apps instead?

[lalanav]

I agree with this.

[verovladamir]

pizzas are WAY cheaper though (like $200), so it wouldn't even out at all.

[kort_ni]

Could you do the pizzas (cut up into smaller pieces) as appetizers? I kind of agree with his parents that it would be nice for people to have something to munch on prior to dinner (and my bet is more people would eat some of the pizza if they have it before dinner rather than waiting until after they've had a full dinner and cake)

maybe that would be an acceptable compromise?

[uberjackalope]

And if we tell them it's too expensive they just say that they'll pay for it. That's not what I want though.

Sounds like they're pretty adamant about having the appetizers, and they're willing to pay for them. Why not just concede on this point? Or is it that they'll only pay for the apps OR the toast, not both?

[jewshusaprncess]

yeah, if they're willing to pay for it...

[jewshusaprncess]

well, who is paying for this whole soiree? if it's not them, why are you letting them have such decision-making power?

[verovladamir]

it's both them and my parents (they are splitting it equally). I'm trying to keep things less costly though, because my parent's can't really afford it. I'm not LETTING them have the power, they simply show up to our meetings and dictate what we are having.

[rita0373]

Well, as people footing half the bill they have a right to the meetings and input on the menu. Let his parents foot the extra for the appetizers and since the toast is important to you, you and Dan can pay that part.

[jewshusaprncess]

well, by not standing up for things then and there in the meetings, you kind of are letting them...

simply saying "thank you for the suggestion, we would like to look at all our options before we make a decision" shuts down their ability to dictate pretty quickly. just draw a boundary.

[eightydollsyell]

I say follow the money: if they are willing to pay to have apps then great, if they are not then just don't have them and say they cannot complain if they aren't willing to put their money where their mouth is.

[lizzie]

Agreed.

[ms_guillotine]

This!

[verovladamir]

it just seems silly to pay that much for something we don't want, and something my parent's agree we don't need.

[i_go_by_max]

As I guest, I would actually appreciate apps during that hour...

If they shell out the cash, I say go for it. If not, there won't be any apps if no one signs a check :)