explainging things to the in-laws
FH (Dan) and I are having our reception at Potawatomi casino. We're really excited about it. We went the other day to meet with the catering manager (a friend of ours) to talk about what we wanted regarding food. We are getting the cake free, doing a full sit-down dinner, and serving pizzas later in the night. Dan's parents are insisting that we serve appetizers too (which cost nearly $1,100). We have tried to say no to this, but it's simply not working.
This is the email I sent to my mom this morning (trying to re-type all of my frustrations would take a LONG time). Do you have any suggestions about how to approach them and tell them this ISN'T what I want? They are extremely pushy people and they DO NOT take no for an answer.
Here's the thing about the food: It's more expensive than I want it to be. Dan's parent's are being really pushy, and I'm currently working out in my head the best way to say it is not what I want.
When Dan and I were asked about a toast, Dan's parents chimed in saying that we didn't need one, because most people probably don't like champagne anyway. What? Of course I want a toast. So we protested, and his parents said "fine. They can do it with wine." Then they immediately chose the kind of wine that we were going to have.
In addition to that, notice how expensive it is to have cheese and sausage? Dan's mom insisted on that, because she wanted the people who got their early to have something to do. It is being served at 5:45, even though dinner is technically being served at 6:45. These aren't 2-year-olds. They can wait an hour. Dan called and told me that he explained to them that he thought that was too much money when we are already serving a full dinner, cake, and pizzas later. His parents said that it was needed, and too cut costs they would get rid of the wine. The wine, for the toast, that I wanted....
Dan is pretty unhappy about it. I'm pretty unhappy about it. We've tried to tell them this, but they just aren't really listening. And if we tell them it's too expensive they just say that they'll pay for it. That's not what I want though.
Suggestions about what to do?
This is the email I sent to my mom this morning (trying to re-type all of my frustrations would take a LONG time). Do you have any suggestions about how to approach them and tell them this ISN'T what I want? They are extremely pushy people and they DO NOT take no for an answer.
Here's the thing about the food: It's more expensive than I want it to be. Dan's parent's are being really pushy, and I'm currently working out in my head the best way to say it is not what I want.
When Dan and I were asked about a toast, Dan's parents chimed in saying that we didn't need one, because most people probably don't like champagne anyway. What? Of course I want a toast. So we protested, and his parents said "fine. They can do it with wine." Then they immediately chose the kind of wine that we were going to have.
In addition to that, notice how expensive it is to have cheese and sausage? Dan's mom insisted on that, because she wanted the people who got their early to have something to do. It is being served at 5:45, even though dinner is technically being served at 6:45. These aren't 2-year-olds. They can wait an hour. Dan called and told me that he explained to them that he thought that was too much money when we are already serving a full dinner, cake, and pizzas later. His parents said that it was needed, and too cut costs they would get rid of the wine. The wine, for the toast, that I wanted....
Dan is pretty unhappy about it. I'm pretty unhappy about it. We've tried to tell them this, but they just aren't really listening. And if we tell them it's too expensive they just say that they'll pay for it. That's not what I want though.
Suggestions about what to do?