seriously. i hate life right now. i wish i could sleep. and i wouldn't mind getting laid.

im thinking of ditching the myspace...i have this lj, a myspace, a facebook, a deviantart, and photobucket, and shutterfly, and three jobs...can we say anxiety disorder? ha! my landlord just got home-even crazier-im still awake...

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it hurts so much...everyday is a new battle, against those who tell me to stop caring (because i can't), against reality (because it's never what i want), and against myself (because the one thing i want, i know i can't have). this will always hurt. it will never be easy.

I have gone through nearly every stage of a break up...1)denial/isolation: He attempted to break up with me three times before, and i rejected the idea that we couldn't work (because we could, if only he would stop thinking so world-centrically)and the last time, the very last time, i pretended to hardly notice...it took me weeks to be able to cry ( Read more... )

he fucked up so bad...i mean i don't think i'm a selfish person, but damn...this could have been so much easier, and we both could be happy and we could still be together if he wasn't so determined to be a fuck up. fuck him. i am so fucking angry words can't even convey my rage. don't get me wrong, i still have all the love in the world for the boy ( Read more... )

i don't give a fuck. even while we were still together, i really wasn't getting laid...so i have some built up tension...excuse me...so is it wrong that i managed to find a fuck buddy the same day he broke up with me? i don't think so. it's just not something he will ever know about. i don't want to date anyone...i just want friends who have ( Read more... )

...i've forgotten, and i suppose i should be able to answer my own question at this point...but i honestly don't know how i feel..though I'd like to be able to say "nothing," ... that can't be true...i just don't know. yeh...paul broke up with me. don't pity me, i don't need to hear "sorry," i just wanted everyone to know. he wants to be friends... ( Read more... )

Once again, I've come to a point in my life where I must question what it is I believe...I haven't come to a standstill, or a fork in the proverbial road...I'm still moving, though I can't say whether it's foward, up, down, left or right...certainly not backwards because I deffinitely haven't been here before...I'm happy, though, and that shouldn't ( Read more... )

What makes a videogame "art"?