what's it like to be single?

[visbevv]

...i've forgotten, and i suppose i should be able to answer my own question at this point...but i honestly don't know how i feel..though I'd like to be able to say "nothing," ... that can't be true...i just don't know. yeh...paul broke up with me. don't pity me, i don't need to hear "sorry," i just wanted everyone to know. he wants to be friends...

Comments

[thecisfalling]

and in the end you'll have learned a lot from all of this
and you'll be happier for it

[darkorochi]

It's almost scary how much this sounds like the break up between me and Justine, only minor differences but it's still similar enough to be important. The only things I would recommend would be to keep up with not calling him and just let him call you for now, it'll tell you whether or not he values attempting a friendship and to not feel completely or at all responsible for his action. You're not one to take things hard or to blame yourself for things easily, so I can honestly say that as earth shattering as a breakup can be, the way you are will make things a whole lot easier. I'm not saying that it should be easy or anything, it's just that our breakups were so similar, almost creepy, hahaha. Call me up some time and we'll do something retarded or stuff, yea know, to raise your spirits, cuz Gabe smiles through everything cuz he's a retard.

[visbevv]

there are moments that come and quickly go where i think i might be truly sad about all this...and then i just get angry. really fucking angry. i'm so unbelievably pissed that he could be so stupid...saying he's too miserable and stressed to have a girlfriend when he forbids himself from being happy in the first place! i'm the only one he ever had tell him his aspirations weren't pipe dreams. the only one to tell him he was amazing and talented, i was the only one ever encouraging him to succeed at the things he told me were important to him. no one else gives a fuck. and then he won't let me help him with his fucking problems, we aren't even allowed to talk about them, while i'm the only one who sees how miserable he is everyday, he would rather be surrounded by his neurotic fucking family that's too fucked up individually to realise their son has been really fucked up for the past 6 years and isn't getting any fucking better. he would rather be around his stupid fucking friends who don't even know anything is wrong with him. they

[darkorochi]

It's people like that that I reallllllly don't understand, of course what you're about to hear is coming from an optimist. Yes, life has hard shit and some really hard shit, but the ability to smile through it all and even laugh about it makes so much of a difference and totally boosts one's ability to handle it all, not to mention confidence as well. What he's doing with hanging with his friends is almost the equivilant to getting smashed just for the sake of temporarily wiping away the problems that life throws your way. Totally a losing way to handle anything, Paul's a kewl guy from the way I know him, I don't know him that well but he totally should be handling things better. It's good that you're not blaming yourself though.