Life really fucking sucks right now. I've once again made decisions with good intent only to cause others harm. I can't fucking win or ever at the very least catch a break. We. I need to stop saying I. These decisions were not mine alone.

Day drinking is finally cool and acceptable and I can't partake!!! hahahha

8 1/2 years ago today, I decided to end my drinking career. In the over 8 years that I lived in a bottle, I went from being a complete functioning alcoholic to losing literally everything, except my life. After waking on October 11th, 2011 and discovering, once again, that I ( Read more... )

What the fuck is going on? A killer virus, that's what's going on COVID-19 is taking a lot of people out. It has delayed our move to the beginning of May, hopefully. A lot of the country is on lockdown. We have a 'stay at home' order. I have already been self quarantining for the past 16 days. I have only went in public 3 times. Fuck that noise. I' ( Read more... )

What does one do when every plan they make gets destroyed. We have been planning this move home to Jersey for months now. We are due to leave a WEEK from today, and we can't. We can't because of a deadly fucking virus, COVID 19. Like, what in the actual fuck? It arrived I think in Jan and was slowly popping up and now it's out of fucking control. ( Read more... )

Soooooooomuch has happened since my last post. My youngest daughter moved in with her boyfriend because she is staying here for school. The house is still for sale and 2 weeks from today we will arrive in NJ. We secured an apartment in East Orange. It's a distance from home but 24 minutes from NYC, which is around where I'll be working and ( Read more... )

I really need to get better with journaling. A lot has gone on. We are still trying to sell this house. There has only been 1 showing. We depart FL March 31st and we still don't have a landing place in NJ but we are working with a realtor to find a place. Bill has been applying to jobs and hopefully someone will call. Been very stressed and can't ( Read more... )

I wasn't going to write this post but I can't fucking help it, it's bothering me that much. Can someone please explain to me how I can land a job 1000 miles away but not in the town I have been living in for 5.5 years?

I have my thoughts. 4 months of searching and hundreds of applications to get a job 1000 miles away by simply inquiring if someone ( Read more... )

It's been 3 weeks since I last popped in and a ton has happened. It's been 3 weeks since I have used weed and I'm feeling it. I'm angrier than normal and I'm trying my best to control it. It may also be all the things currently going on. I still have no job. We have 100% decided on the move back home. Our house was officially listed for sale this ( Read more... )

Ella's gone. She died in Bills arms a few minutes ago.

What is a non believer? Someone likes to refer to me as so. I'm a believer, just not in what they believe. Am I allowed to say they are a non believer because they dont believe what I believe? Here's the difference, I would NEVER say that to another cuz that's your fucking business. So stay the fuck out of mine, stop trying to make your beliefs ( Read more... )