So. Here i am ( Read more... )

Does anyone care? i know of 1 person who sits though and listens to me.. and i listen to her.. and we communicate when we can. we live far apart. but at times it seems like she may possibly be the only person there. at times i feel she can't be there no matter how hard she tries. distance is a bitch isn't it ( Read more... )

ever thought about dissapearing. getting up and leaving without telling anyone. go to a new town or city and start over ( Read more... )

I've never felt soooo lonely in my life.. i'm gonna crawl back into bed. if i stop crying i'll fall asleep :(

well.. i leave tomorrow at 4 or 5 in the morning. My dad and i will be traveling around 20 hours or so. Not bad in my opinion. I do driving like this all day long for a living. Granted, this is all highway driving, which is a lot better.

I hope i can enjoy my stay in Colorado. All i ask if for my mind to relax and not think about California. If i ( Read more... )

This is a goodbye message to someone who may never read this. for sure, she will never be able to read the dozens of private messages, nor would she care to. she simply does not care for me. She will never care for me ever again. I burned a bridge.. now i'm brushing the ashes away *block*.. now she will never see me online anymore. *sigh* hard to ( Read more... )

Ok.. i've reached an all new low. I have dreams about having sex. I haven't had sex in such a long time ( about 6 months now for just sex and over a year for true sex ) I have dreams about it... that's sad.

i usually make these as private post:

she's the only person who can bring me down to tears. just the reminder that she no longer wants to even see me, reminds me of my screw up and can bring me to tears. she's the only one who can do this.

will i ever find someone i can love as much as i love/d her? i'll find out with time i guess... just.. how

:( i think i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now :(

I want to get out of here. With my current situation i'm un able to move out. I'm just barely making enough movie to keep myself sane. the sad part, i'm not joking. Someone want to adopt me? :( i have cute puppy eyes * looks up with cute puppy eyes *... no... oh ( Read more... )