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Reflection - Hey there! It has been a long time
I have decided to record down a reflection of what happened recently. On 8th Sep 2021 (Wed), i had a fight with my sister. I flamed the fight first because she came to the room. I was on my laptop, trying to de-stress from the feelings of my long term unemployment and interview the next day. Her eyes were very shifty and her behavior was rather ( Read more... ) -
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Sometimes i can really see myself jumping off my balcony. Well it doesn't have to be my balcony but it seems like the most realistic place to jump off even though it is just 3 storeys. It is enough to give me brain damage or a leg injury. In other realistic situations, i can see myself getting hit by the passing cars as i am waiting for the green ( Read more... ) -
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Even if you feel something so deeply , it does not mean that things will turn out the way you want or feel for it to be
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I'm nothing but just the ashes of what is left of sweet illusion from before. I don't matter to you . I was just part of your mind game . Dear god , I won't be a martyr . I don't want to be one either . There's still hope in me that something in you will change that's why I still have dreams of you sometimes about us meeting and things getting good ( Read more... ) -
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All i have is this chronic emptiness in me, sinking except this time it hurts so much . I don't know why. I'm not sure why i feel this way. My heart feels hurt. I don't understand what's wrong with me and i don't know how else to deal with it except spending as much days as i can with people. I feel horrible. A part of me feels like i'm sinking in ( Read more... ) -
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I can't help but only mind-fuck myself. I don't know how to stop myself from thinking. My mind can only think of possibilities. Possibilities where it doesn't end good. Just as the confusion sets in and some emotions finally started running , i just had to numb myself back again ( Read more... ) -
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I can't feel anything when i am around people.I can be talking with them but i don't feel a thing either.Emotionally disconnected with everyone. -
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Okay , i guess i feel slightly lonely and unwanted. I am comparing myself to my siblings and other people that i know. They have friends they hang out with often. People they share their feelings and thoughts with often. People in real person. I have to admit that i can't stand myself if i talk too much about my own problems . I feel uncomfortable ( Read more... ) -
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Nothing bad is happening to me in the physical world.Anyway , this is what i think and feel right now ( Read more... )