So my manager at my bar doesn't like me, or is pissed off at me, or something. I talked to my owner and checked to see if it's ok if I get some shifts covered this week, sort of ease back into going to work. Sunday was my first day back, and it was horrible. Kept having to go to the bathroom to cry and all kinds of fun stuff! My owner ok's it, and ( Read more... )

I wake up and it's raining.
I left my window open, and my hair is wet.
Rain seems such an obvious metaphor, a cliche way
to describe what's inside.
Today it is raining, and it is nothing more,
nothing less than water,
maybe a cleansing way to wash off yesterday,
but even now my humanity pervades what
has nothing to do with me.
Nature didn't give us this ( Read more... )

I'm bringing back Emily online and puttin some STANK on it! Well, maybe not too much stank. Wouldn't want to stank up the place. All the same.

My dad died. It's knocked me off my feet a little, but I suppose that's to be expected. My days are a whirlwind of taking care of my mom, taking care of everything there is to be taken care of, trying to get ( Read more... )

There are moments in your life when you feel it's time to make a change. Looking the down the new road ahead of you, full of scary things you've never experienced, you try to talk yourself into staying where you're comfortable, change be damned. But no! You are a man, not a mouse, and you bravely begin the journey down the dark, terrifying road of ( Read more... )

My grandmother died. She was the strongest woman I know. I like to think I got it from her. I sure as hell didn't get it from my mother, who crumples and sobs at every downfall.  I know I got my obsession with yarn and making things out of yarn from her, she's the only other person in our family who suffers from the same affliction. I still have a ( Read more... )

I was telling my ex how I could be happy spending the rest of my life studying quantam physics. He laughed and said, 'Oh, yes, that is very you. Spending your life coming up with answers that only lead to more questions. Emily, you ARE quantam physics.'  I took it as a compliment, although I think it had a splash of bitterness in it.

Side note: SO ( Read more... )

It's a clear, cool day in Indiana. The colors outside are filling my eyes, reds and yellows against dark green, the pink blossoms on the trees against blue. Looking out my window is like looking at the cover of a puzzle box, except the graphics are much better ( Read more... )

When I sleep I dream
only of the next day.
When I wake I think
only of time.

For 60 hours a week, I feel I don't belong to me. What time is left is spent before it's earned. I miss my books and my projects. My head hurts from not writing and my heart hurts from not singing. In the few minutes I find my glorious room, my beloved chair, my back is filled ( Read more... )

You want to be right, that love is dead.
If this is so, then I am going.
I am not a plain white box,
a take out coffin for your fears,
for you to keep until some night
when you need to look inside.
To feel passion and be safe may
never quite work out, but that is life.

Life is letting yourself live.

My life needs fields and reverie
in which to dream, open ( Read more... )

Just got off work. A girl left early and my manager asked me if I thought I could handle the whole section myself even though it's only my third day of being a server. So of course I said NO PROBLEM. I ended up rocking it though, made 30 bucks in 3 hours, and at the end of the night Lynn (the manager) told me that even though I've only worked there ( Read more... )