Long time no post.
There are moments in your life when you feel it's time to make a change. Looking the down the new road ahead of you, full of scary things you've never experienced, you try to talk yourself into staying where you're comfortable, change be damned. But no! You are a man, not a mouse, and you bravely begin the journey down the dark, terrifying road of the unknown.
I have made a decision. I've been thinking about it for a long time.
I'm switching toothpastes.
The one I'm using leaves this weird grainy film on my teeth, and it kind of smells weird.
In other news. I've had two customer complaints at work and I am not taking this criticism lightly. My boss told me just to try harder and reminded me it takes time to be good at bartending if you have no experience with it. These words of comfort have done no good for my knotted up stomach every time I go in for my shifts now. I know I'm a perfectionist, I know I want to be good at everything immediately even when that's completely unrealistic, I know I'm being too hard on myself, and I know that everyone makes mistakes, but I can't stop going over and over and over the complaints in my head, and feeling like I'm no good at this job, and that I'm just going to make more and more mistakes until I get fired. Gr.
A large, large part of me, a part even larger than my ass, wants to quit, but I'm not letting myself. Every time I get to a point in a job where I'm bored/not good at it/not getting along with coworkers, I just quit, go through a 'Jobs stop me from being truly free!' phase, and eventually find something else when I'm tired of not having money. This is a pattern I could get away with in high school over even last year. But now I have grown up bills to pay, and some grown up student loans to pay off. So I'm just going to suck it up, go to work, do the best I can to have fun, and silently repeat my mantra in my head: "Fuck it." I figure the worst case scenario is I get fired eventually, and at least then I'll get away from the job, and qualify for unemployment.
I have made a decision. I've been thinking about it for a long time.
I'm switching toothpastes.
The one I'm using leaves this weird grainy film on my teeth, and it kind of smells weird.
In other news. I've had two customer complaints at work and I am not taking this criticism lightly. My boss told me just to try harder and reminded me it takes time to be good at bartending if you have no experience with it. These words of comfort have done no good for my knotted up stomach every time I go in for my shifts now. I know I'm a perfectionist, I know I want to be good at everything immediately even when that's completely unrealistic, I know I'm being too hard on myself, and I know that everyone makes mistakes, but I can't stop going over and over and over the complaints in my head, and feeling like I'm no good at this job, and that I'm just going to make more and more mistakes until I get fired. Gr.
A large, large part of me, a part even larger than my ass, wants to quit, but I'm not letting myself. Every time I get to a point in a job where I'm bored/not good at it/not getting along with coworkers, I just quit, go through a 'Jobs stop me from being truly free!' phase, and eventually find something else when I'm tired of not having money. This is a pattern I could get away with in high school over even last year. But now I have grown up bills to pay, and some grown up student loans to pay off. So I'm just going to suck it up, go to work, do the best I can to have fun, and silently repeat my mantra in my head: "Fuck it." I figure the worst case scenario is I get fired eventually, and at least then I'll get away from the job, and qualify for unemployment.