i fell asleep to amazing jazz music last night via Dexter Gordon, every one should try it.

i usually don't wake up this alive

Today i have:

• worked out
• cleaned my truck
• got my ticket for the Eisley show
• did laundry
• gotten some writing done

i have been in love with the weather these past few days.

the rain is absolutely beautiful. it makes me want to write. so i do. writing with thunder to back it up really is the only way to go. there's something so, i want to say primal, i want to say primitive, but those are the wrong words, just something feels so basic, so inherently obvious ( Read more... )

i find myself on the brink of
standing on the edge,
chasing thunderstorms to feel
at home in the chaos,
counting the seconds between
lightning strikes of longing
and the inevitable thunderous rage.

so bring on the rain,
let it pour through my veins
and chip away at the residue
of all that remains.

tonight reflected in the flood
i want to see myself
the way i ( Read more... )

Ben Gibbard (the voice of Death Cab for Cutie as well as The Postal Service) did a live cover of Avril Lavigne's "Complicated" and i must say that he does Canadian pre-teen drama pretty damn well.

just thought i'd put that out there.

i've been avoiding this whole livejournal thing, and writing in general, as of late because for me writing something ( Read more... )

she had seven minutes to force down a plate full of roadkill raccoon organs. ironically enough that's one minute for each year that she'd been a vegetarian.

the world of Fear Factor is a cruel, cruel place.

-----

she told me to write until i can't feel my fingers,
frantically weaving words into a noose
of every metaphorical manner,
choking life ( Read more... )

....then our hands met, palm to palm, before she pulled me into that awkward one-armed hug, the kind reserved for relationships with no concrete status. we both stepped back, palms sliding apart and i discreetly discarded what i had come for into my back pocket. like an addict hitting up their dealer for a fix, i got what i needed and no one had to ( Read more... )

i wish i weren't alone right now. it's been a long night of not sleeping and introspection and writing and all of the things i've been avoiding as of late. it's been a long few months of teetering between over emotional and complete apathy about my life, which are crazy extremes to go back and forth from. it leaves me exhausted and longing. longing ( Read more... )

as of midnight Denny's went non-smoking and that, my fellow addicts, is just sad.
coffee and cigarettes minus the cigarettes just isn't as good, less cancerous sure, but not as good.

insomniaticly (shut up, it's a word cause i say it is) watching amazingly horrid movies while making snide and completely inappropriate comments about aforementioned ( Read more... )

the streetlights through the blinds
blink then fade
blink then fade
red melts to yellow
yellow melts to green
with each blinding streak of headlight
the technicolor stretch of highway
blurs with my vision
until all i see is brown,
brown eyes in the heart of my mind
the kind of brown that gets deeper
and richer behind each smile.

someone speaks in my direction.

( Read more... )

someone stop me.

or at least weigh the pros and cons for me.

right now i'm way too emotionally numb to even care if it's a bad idea.

i'm armed with enough of an 'i don't give a fuck' attitude at this point to make the most heart-wrenching / terrifying hour and a half drive of my life. why? because i'm sitting here wearing her t-shirt and i can still ( Read more... )