so i just got home after spending a few hours with the woman from the relationship in my last post. the latest one that bit the dust. and now it feels as though the dust is being kicked up in my face and in the mist of this dust-storm i can't even turn around to run away. she's blinding me with this on and off compassion and for some fucked up ( Read more... )

it's official.

i'm that lesbian, the one who everyone loves but is doomed to be single.

and just when i really didn't need anything else to go wrong in my life

...and another one bites the dust

a recruiter just called to remind me that i have no future without the armed forces. i was one "be all you can be" away from reminding him that he can suck my cock.

waitressing has made me so fucking two-faced, it's insane. i am a completely different person when dealing with customers: i'm polite, i crack lame jokes with old people, i'm pleasant ( Read more... )

there is little that's more satisfying than being so utterly spellbound by a novel that you read it cover to cover in one sitting.

well, okay, so there are plenty of things more satisfying. but not to me. at least not tonight. not now. only when your own life is so fucked with confusion, so empty behind the chaos, so void of sleep and stability does ( Read more... )

you must think I'm out of my mind | It's a struggle sometimes to pretend | that I know what I'm doing | I know who I am | I know how it works | and I'll see where it ends | I need you more now than I ever did | I've been thinking again

and i have. been thinking again that is. really thinking. which, for those who know me well know usually doesn't ( Read more... )

i'm not looking for a stereotypical fairy-tale romance. damsels in distress just aren't my style, and if i'm the one that's going to be rescued i'd take a rebel princess over prince charming any day.

i want the kind of fairy-tale that Disney is too "moral" to make. i want Walt spinning in his grave. i'd write fairy-tales for the cynic hidden behind ( Read more... )

it came out of nowhere,
like the way a deer will appear
out of the fading morning mist
and be recognized just in time
for it to be too late.
my realization became roadkill
before i think i knew it was a thought.
and in the aftermath of the mental crash,
(nose bleeding broken dreams)
(hopes turned scrap metal up to my knees)
all i wanted was to salvage some ( Read more... )

the first phrase i heard this new year was, bring it on, bitch! said by Kathy Griffin about Barbra Walters trying to pick a fight with her on The View. nevertheless, i can't help but hear debbie's voice inside me assuring me that those ill-fated words came at just the right moment to urge me to face life head on this year.

starting now.

12:09, ( Read more... )

ThinArmsExtended: no one wins at life, we all just stumble forward in confusion until we die.
ThinArmsExtended: was that uplifting?

thank you, brittany, for that stunning dose of realism

-----

i have rediscovered the wonders of magnetic poetry and thank goddess for it:

color me absurd for seeing life as a studio
where i am but a drunken artist
smearing ( Read more... )

remember that murder that happened in a bar? remember how you saw the getaway car?

so as diana, abby, and i were sitting in Denny's tonight there was a man across the room watching us. i noticed him but didn't say anything, thinking he'd go away. man was i wrong. after about half an hour of being a creepy stalker he came over to our table -  "hey, ( Read more... )