i hate my roommates, i hate everyone at this school; i hate jon, i hate ricky, i hate anyone who's every hurt me and betrayed me.

fuck everything.i dont care. about anything.

livejournal is out of style i know but it feels like this is the only place i can really express myself right now because i feel as though i cant trust anyone and that everyone is against me..i've had a rough couple months..my grandmother died in september and it has really torn me apart and nothing has really gone well for me since then..i feel as ( Read more... )

jon is everything to me and more..for the first time in a long while i'm actually happy most of the time and i love it..but there are things that keep resurfacing, not just things, people and emotions and memories and i feel so guilty because i want them to be gone and just have the new ones but i cant help but think about him and us and what we ( Read more... )

its not fair..there are so many things going through my head and its seems like the person i feel the most for is trying to push me away by starting arguments over petty subjects or old things that have happened and i've basically been told by two people not to talk to someone ever again..and to be honest it isnt fair because i miss my friend and ( Read more... )

everything is so messed up. ski team is finally over and i'm very happy because i HATE madame..school is better, i'm doing well in most classes, the exceptions are chemistry and french but i'm working on it..i work at the Tilt'n Diner and i love it, i make really good money and i love the people..i've met many new people and they're all awesome.. ( Read more... )

i've been really busy, between school, ski team starting and working..i'm drained not only physically and mentally but emotionaly..everything has been so hard to deal with in the past month or two and i need a break from it ( Read more... )

its hard to realize what you have until its gone and even though its not completely gone, i miss it more than anything..just that feeling of accomplishment and that thrill of being motionless in the air for a fleating second..that connection between you and your horse that is so amazing, the trust and the love that is key..just being able to see ( Read more... )

haven't written in this for a while so yea..soccer is almost over and its about time, i mean i like playing it but no one on our team gets along..just about everyone hates eachother..i've been trying to get to the barn more too and possibly start riding again which would be so nice because i miss it so much..i got a puppy about 3 or 4 weeks ago and ( Read more... )

havent done much except for soccer lately and i've been really busy with school work..sunday went to Ricky and Kenny's race, long day but fun..they both did well..last friday we won our first game against Kingswood which was cool..it was a long time coming..i'm sick and it sucks, my voice is just about gone but whatever..stuff has been weird and ( Read more... )

yea schools okay i guess and soccer is going well and i want it to snow, other than that i just dont want to be here or have anything to do with different things..trying not to care and trying to pretend..somethings you cant put aside no matter how hard you try, the hardest part is pretending everyday like i'm fine ( Read more... )