Woah.

It's been a little over a year since I've written in LJ. And most of my thoughts back then were super stressful.

Since that last post, I moved to upper Manhattan, started working from home after COVID-19 exploded; my sister and I are apart, Vic Macaroni showed his true colors, Trump was still Trump, black people were murdered again, Black ( Read more... )

I doubt that anyone will understand what accounts I'm linked to, but:

Facebook/Twitter/LINE

I'll be gone from all of them for a while. It's probably for the best.

On the downside, I don't know what people are up to, but I do know that the world is still going round.

I'll keep in touch with the people who have taken the time to reach out to me.

I'm anxious, and a little sad, but my mood has gotten somewhat better. My motivation isn't gone but I feel slightly burnt out. I will keep going at least....

It's...been 3 months already???? Jeezus.

I've been so stressed out that I didn't even realize the time that has passed.

Gotta stay strong or this will all be for nothing.

I think...while I'm still very sad about things that took place last week...I realized I bounced back slightly better than expected. I'm a little worried because it seems like I probably realized that I was so used to being alone,  or unavailable, or trying to accommodate by being "chill" when there isn't any time for me.

I probably did a good job ( Read more... )

I hope he is eating well.
I hope he is okay.

Please just let him be okay.

And well.

And better.

Today I went out with friends to get a load off the emotional pouting I have been doing.

I realized that I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones that I don't expect to reach out (due to their own situations) have been coming to me.

I have to say I really appreciate it.

But after I went out today, I think part of the reason that this didn't work ( Read more... )

It's difficult to sleep when I'm alone in my thoughts...

And all I can think of are sad things

I think I really let go of the little happiness that I had left.

It's so frustrating to try to be happy.
It's unproductive to mope around.

It's a perpetual cycle of mental torture porn, now that I think about it. So weird, man...

I hope I can not make this a ( Read more... )

My heart is burning red hot, the sunset has taken away my words
Time is standing still, equal to the depth of my love
Are you leaving with just one word?

Tomorrow without you
It's bitter like beer for kids

You kissed my slim fingers, I’ll never forget you
Even if we’re apart, I’ll always remember, remember our last kiss

Everyone begins as an innocent, ( Read more... )

"I do have a lot of regrets, but I'll never regret you."

My heart hurts. The tears won't stop.

I really wish...things were different.

A part of me feels gone. But I need to heal in my own way.