I'm not sure I can help-- but this time last year, I was applying to writing programs, not because I wanted to be a writer, but because I'd majored in writing, and I didn't know what else to do. Flash forward, I've worked 80 shitty jobs, I'm in the same town I went to college in, and I'm currently working a temp job. I don't always put it like that, because I'm afraid it makes me sound like a failure. So what am I doing now
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You always offer some of the best insights on these kinds of situations. I may just finish with these applications and see if somebody somewhere accepts me anyway, and if they do, I could take it as a sign that maybe I was meant to do this after all. And if not, it wouldn't be for lack of trying.
I'm glad to hear you may be finding your calling; it definitely gives hope to the rest of us. And I'm pretty sure "existential crises" are the trademark of any writer worth his salt.
Incidentally, do you know if universities hang on to letters of recommendation, or do they get rid of them after every application cycle?
:) I can't say for all universities, but I can say that both Vanderbilt and Idaho held on to my letters of recommendation, but Indiana didn't. One way to ensure that you can use them again int he future, though, is to ask the professor to either save a copy or to give you a copy. That way, in a couple of years, you just call them for permission and they send it back out.
And definitely go ahead and send the apps-- you never know when something will be the perfect situation. (That's what I keep telling myself, haha. :))
I know, right? I didn't apply straight out of undergrad because I didn't think it was what I wanted. After a year I thought I had had enough time to finally settle on something after having been disappointed by the "real world". And now it seems like it's back to square one.
If you don't do grad or vet school, what do you think you'll do?
I like the idea of the Peace Corps, but the reality is it's not very practical in my situation. Most Peace Corps volunteers have wealthy families (or at least serious savings) they can fall back on, because the Peace Corps really only awards what amounts to a stipend for your services. Not such good news when you have to come back home and set up a real life. =(
Good luck with your apps, Elsa, and thanks for reminding me I'm not alone in this.
I know what you mean. This lifetime of enriched and honors programs and IB and AP and college credit feels like it's done nothing but set us up for disappointment. With all that build-up, still what are the chances that every one of us will grow up to be great? I guess there's nothing to do but try, as you say.
You're Not AlonemegabeastNovember 12 2008, 04:13:03 UTC
You're not alone in your feelings and frustrations. It seems like many of us are in the same boat. I don't know of many 22/23 year-olds who know exactly what they want to do with their lives...or they feel 100% awesome about where they are right now. I've heard that the entire 20's decade is rough because it's this period of turbulence in our lives. We're single and aren't nailed down by families/mortgages... we have nothing holding us back but ourselves and our self-doubt. We have our whole lives ahead of us...yet we still feel this weird obligation to BE SOMETHING so early in life... (read: not be known as a "failure
( ... )
Re: You're Not AlonetulipfieldNovember 12 2008, 20:18:41 UTC
Meghan,
First, let me just say your icon alone cheered me up immeasurably.
It's so true what you say though. Maybe the reason people rush into marriages and mortgages is to have the sense of security... and then suddenly they have actual responsibilities and relationships holding them back rather than just their internal insecurities, and they can't do what they realize they should have done earlier.
I'll see how it goes w/ this grad school thing. If I get in anyway, maybe I'll realize that this is what I'm supposed to do. If not, I'll be free to try other things.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I definitely needed a pep talk!
First off, I totally agree with the comments above. XD Clearly, you're not the only person dealing with these feelings of doubt and this sense of failure. I think that just comes with the terrority of being a recent undergraduate that hasn't landed on that steady track yet. It takes time to figure out what you eventually want to do. If you love travelling, I think Elsa made a great point about the peace corps
( ... )
For the record, I always thought that it was super neat that you were kinda running your own biz out of your house, within the field you studied. Grass is always greener, I guess.
You know what I was thinking, though. I don't know if you're hurting for insurance or anything, but Starbucks offers benefits for part-time workers; it's one reason I work there. So if you wanted to keep up your contract work and your etsy stuff but still be covered, you might benefit from working at the bux.
But anyway. I appreciate the show of solidarity. ^^ Good luck to all of us.
Wow, I didn't know Starbucks did that. But I dunno if I could become a barista. It looks really hard. I might poison people or something. haha. I can clean dishes though! XD
GOD it is comforting to see so many people I respect so much and know to be so intelligent going through the same thing I am. Thanks for your post, Monica!
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You always offer some of the best insights on these kinds of situations. I may just finish with these applications and see if somebody somewhere accepts me anyway, and if they do, I could take it as a sign that maybe I was meant to do this after all. And if not, it wouldn't be for lack of trying.
I'm glad to hear you may be finding your calling; it definitely gives hope to the rest of us. And I'm pretty sure "existential crises" are the trademark of any writer worth his salt.
Incidentally, do you know if universities hang on to letters of recommendation, or do they get rid of them after every application cycle?
Many thanks for your thoughts and encouragement!
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And definitely go ahead and send the apps-- you never know when something will be the perfect situation. (That's what I keep telling myself, haha. :))
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If you don't do grad or vet school, what do you think you'll do?
I like the idea of the Peace Corps, but the reality is it's not very practical in my situation. Most Peace Corps volunteers have wealthy families (or at least serious savings) they can fall back on, because the Peace Corps really only awards what amounts to a stipend for your services. Not such good news when you have to come back home and set up a real life. =(
Good luck with your apps, Elsa, and thanks for reminding me I'm not alone in this.
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(The comment has been removed)
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First, let me just say your icon alone cheered me up immeasurably.
It's so true what you say though. Maybe the reason people rush into marriages and mortgages is to have the sense of security... and then suddenly they have actual responsibilities and relationships holding them back rather than just their internal insecurities, and they can't do what they realize they should have done earlier.
I'll see how it goes w/ this grad school thing. If I get in anyway, maybe I'll realize that this is what I'm supposed to do. If not, I'll be free to try other things.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I definitely needed a pep talk!
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You know what I was thinking, though. I don't know if you're hurting for insurance or anything, but Starbucks offers benefits for part-time workers; it's one reason I work there. So if you wanted to keep up your contract work and your etsy stuff but still be covered, you might benefit from working at the bux.
But anyway. I appreciate the show of solidarity. ^^ Good luck to all of us.
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Which Starbucks do you work in btw?
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