Panic Attack

[banshee1067]

I'm breathing heavy and keep grasping myself...I'll grab my forearm in a grip and fold in on myself. What's happening to me? I started sweating all over and now here I sit, frustrated, wiping sweat off my face as I type and try to stave this off

Comments

[eriktrips]

I can really only say two things. one is that I've been there, helplessly raging at the very flesh of my being and I know how hard it is and I hope you make it out without damage

[ftmichael]

Seconded. See http://www.t-vox.org/index.php?title=Category:Resources for assorted support groups, therapists with a clue about Trans stuff, etc. in your area.

[banshee1067]

The problem is, i CAN'T change it. I can't erase being 6'3". I can't reshape my bones. I can't change my face. I'm not sure what approaches you mean, otherwise.

A support group is not going to help me. Sitting around with a bunch of other losers whining about how unfair their own lives are is only going to make me feel worse by association. Besides, getting a hug from a stranger and being told that my feelings are "okay" is only going to make me feel like a fool.

Once I get a job, I'll probably go to a therapist, but I'm not optimistic. I've seen many in the past, and was always the same..most of the time it was just decent conversation. In all fairness, there is little they can do. I mean, what do you tell a guy who says "I'm 6'3", broad shouldered, and bald....but I don't want to date girls who want a big manly guy?" It just plain doesn't make sense.

"Rock Against Drugs. That's like Christians Against Christ. Rock CREATED drugs."

- Sam Kinison

[skweeker]

No, but maybe you can work on accepting yourself. If you can't accept yourself, how is someone else supposed to accept you?

There are tons of people that don't like their bodies for lots of reasons, as this community knows full well. Do what you can, accept what you can't, and move on. That's all one can do.

[next_adventure]

I know you're hurting, and when you're hurting it's difficult to see things from a different perspective

[banshee1067]

Can't experiment with my hair, since my shit genetics caused me to start losing it when I was 17...another major reason I'm ugly.

I tried dating tall women. They just liked my size even more because, finally, THEY got to be the small one. There is nothing good about being tall, and I could give a fuck about reaching shit on high shelves. Get a ladder.

[banshee1067]

Well, like a fucking dumbshit, I hit the send button before I was even done, hence the unintended rudeness of my last sentence.

Look at my pic. i'd make a horrible woman. I don't even merit being an attractive guy.

[tori_lynn_lives]

Hi I'm Tori. I've seen you on here before and I recognize some things. One thing I recognize is that you and I are very similar...er, we were very similar. One thing I recognize, as shelly put it...you don't need warm fuzzies from transfolk that you percieve to have "succeeded" in morphing into thier perfered gender, what you need sweetheart is some tough love. I can garauntee that anyone in this community, myself included, would accept you for what ever you told us that you were. if you tell me that you are a female, i'm down with that and i'll never call you anything but. it doen't matter to me if you were born with a penis and have not one hair on your head. I was too and I lost a damn lot of my hair before i began transiton

[morbioid]

You can be beautiful without being passable.

I can’t be either. I hate myself too. I should never have been born.