I'm going to mope. So now's when you can skip this entry and I can feel just fine about making it a public post, until I hate seeing it so much that I delete it
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However, for the first twelve months I was friends with these people, I felt like a manipulative scum. Because, honestly, I used every person I could to climb the social ladder. Haha.
But now I feel I've found the TRUE people I'm friends with, or that I can atleast tolerate, and I am myself... but socially. It takes a great deal to make yourself comfortable being... well, yourself.
I think you rock for using everyone you could to climb the social ladder. I mean, most people who are actually part of the social ladder are manipulative, shallow scum themselves... why not use them to proactively make your life less miserable?
It's not that I'm uncomfortable being myself. It's just that there's no point in being myself and being happy around people like the ones I was describing, who only inevitably make me feel like an outsider for sharing my true Claire-ness.
It seemed, at least on my end, that we were ourselves when we were running around building salamander houses and playing some warped version of LOTR involving sticks and spells. Good fun that was.
I need a good book with minimal violence and scifi/fantasy content that will make me think. Do you have any suggestions?
Exile and the Kingdom by Camus is really great. It's a collection of short stories centred around the theme of man as his own downfall. I love it.
Brahma's Dream by some Indian-Canadian author's about a girl with a horrible disease. She lives in Mumbai, in India, and the book describes her life. Very interesting and nice.
Brave New World by Huxley has some sci-fi, but it's worth it. Very very verily recommended.
And finally, that one by B.F. Skinner (the famous behavioural psychologist) is awesome. It's about a utopian society in which the behaviour of the community is manipulated using classical and operant conditioning. Very good, especially if you're interested in that sort of stuff.
Comments 6
But now I feel I've found the TRUE people I'm friends with, or that I can atleast tolerate, and I am myself... but socially. It takes a great deal to make yourself comfortable being... well, yourself.
And it's not easy.
Reply
I think you rock for using everyone you could to climb the social ladder. I mean, most people who are actually part of the social ladder are manipulative, shallow scum themselves... why not use them to proactively make your life less miserable?
It's not that I'm uncomfortable being myself. It's just that there's no point in being myself and being happy around people like the ones I was describing, who only inevitably make me feel like an outsider for sharing my true Claire-ness.
It seemed, at least on my end, that we were ourselves when we were running around building salamander houses and playing some warped version of LOTR involving sticks and spells. Good fun that was.
I need a good book with minimal violence and scifi/fantasy content that will make me think. Do you have any suggestions?
Reply
Reply
Exile and the Kingdom by Camus is really great. It's a collection of short stories centred around the theme of man as his own downfall. I love it.
Brahma's Dream by some Indian-Canadian author's about a girl with a horrible disease. She lives in Mumbai, in India, and the book describes her life. Very interesting and nice.
Brave New World by Huxley has some sci-fi, but it's worth it. Very very verily recommended.
And finally, that one by B.F. Skinner (the famous behavioural psychologist) is awesome. It's about a utopian society in which the behaviour of the community is manipulated using classical and operant conditioning. Very good, especially if you're interested in that sort of stuff.
=)
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