I guess I'm a little depressed ( Read more... )

I am guilty of having just turned my laptop on in the middle of the night to see screennames online. Not to talk to them. Just to see that somebody else was out there.

Sometimes it feels like I'll never get un-lonely.

If there is a point at which attempted volunteerism becomes a sick and desperate cover-up for intense loneliness and feelings of worthlessness, I may have reached that point ( Read more... )

I want a girlfriend. But the gay people here seem to be into drinking and drugs. Or they're ugly. Sounds a lot like my pathetic high school years spent trying to get a boyfriend.

I also want time to read the new Richard Dawkins book that my parents so kindly purchased for me.

But I'd rather have a girlfriend.

I'm feeling really lonely tonight, despite the fact that I chilled with Kat and Becky.

And I'm angry because my words have left me and I can't seem to type anything about that loneliness and intimacy that doesn't exist anymore and silence and all of that.

I have sky-high verbal testing skills, I write good essays in my sleep, and tonight I am ( Read more... )

The kids on my floor are having a party tonight, on the floor, and they invited my roommate but not me. I feel rather left out.

Mmm, gotta love that magical high school feeling.

Along the same lines as the last one, but it doesn't really matter, because my journal does not matter ( Read more... )

Down the hall I just heared our floor's perky girl squeal and run, then exclaim "OMG YOU'RE HERE I MISSED YOUUUU." And that made me sad. There isn't anyone at home I want to see that much. There's no one I really miss right now, except perhaps the glorified version of the way things were with Chicken Fucker before things went very, very bad.

I guess ( Read more... )

My tummy hurts and I am in pain and I do not want to do my schoolwork. Plus, I feel lonely. And my room is messy. And I still have 67 days before I can go to ISU and get friends. Fuck this shit.

I'm going to mope. So now's when you can skip this entry and I can feel just fine about making it a public post, until I hate seeing it so much that I delete it ( Read more... )