I'm totally stalling right now. I've got everything but my computer and Deeno packed up in the Expedition. I'm making one final use of the sweet internet connection to watch some episodes of Arrested Development. I am not in any hurry to return home, but I will somewhat shortly. The experience in Esco was simliar to my other experiences this year, ( Read more... )

Everyday gets a little easier. I know that each day I make a little move forward toward accomplishing my goals. Its scary, only because of the unfamiliar. I've decided that as I move forward, it will be a good time to really sit and think about the people I've mistreated over the last couple years, and really make some amends. My goals for the ( Read more... )

12/17/08 To Do List:

*Today is the anniversary of the first time I served mass as an alter boy, 12 years ago

1. Go buy some food, make a good breakfast
2. Clean out my car, make room for the rest of my belongings
3. Put the rest of the apartment stuff in my car.
4. Write out personal plan for van living.
5. Search out any possibile candidates.

She enterted the living room wearing nothing but a thin white sheet, draped over her shoulders, barely covering her chest as it came to cross right above the navel. We were both silent, and I could feel the blood being pulled toward the center of my body, down to my lap as sensual thoughts raised questions about her further intentions with me ( Read more... )

Tonight was my first night back at Costco's front end. It went pretty smooth. Everyone wondered where I had been for 6 months. Since I didnt have work this morning, I got to lay around with raychelyay and be lazy, which was a nice change of pace. I set some goals toda, made a list of things I would like to do and need to in order to do them. I ( Read more... )

I just got home from work. It went by smoothly but not as smooth as yesterday. I keep being drawn back to the other night. It was the most clarity ive experienced in a long time, and came as a result f heavy positive thinking. I want to feel that way all the time, and I feel determined to do so. I go to the front end on the 12th. I think a steady ( Read more... )

I feel as if I have made some sort of breakthrough tonight. I was writing earlier, sitting in the chill room, and I began to write out a description about how I see the world. Then it occurred to me why I might be so depressed.

Getting out of bed in the morning is the hardest part. It seems like within the first few minutes of consiousness the entire weight of the world begins to settle in on my shoulders. The full realization of all the decisions I've made starts to form a timeline in my head, leading up to the present, sitting on my bed counting down the minutes before ( Read more... )

Today was a good day to have off. I went and played tennis with Wayne this morning at Collier Park, it was fun, we haven't done that in like 3 years or so. Im not really ssure about what to write about right now. I had a good day yesterday, aced my communications exam and went running along the beach. I am not so excited about going to work ( Read more... )

Awhile back I found my spiral notebook where I put little bits of paper with funny lines and jokes written on them. They were written mostly between 2005 and 2006 when I was actively dreaming of being a comedian. It wasn't long after that I stopped thinking about funny shit all day, and started focusing on the negative problems in my life. It will ( Read more... )