The things you never realize that you miss hurt the most. Because when you realize just what you've been living without, you feel the pain of it and all that time spent away crashing down on your heart at once
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He lingers for a moment, just outside of her eyesight before stepping inwards. Hell, he's not sure what to think about these things. He still doesn't know what to make of the man he sees on that screen, not when he doesn't know how much they share of their past and what the future holds for him. Inevitably, though, he remembers this isn't about him and settles down beside her and offers his hand to her, just in case. "I might just be a simple country doctor, but I recognize someone needing cheering up when I see it."
She took his hand without question or pause, just a natural movement of trust and welcome. With her other hand, Uhura brushed the trickles of tears from her cheeks, grateful for once for the significant lack of eyeliner and mascara among her toiletries.
"Oh, I'm fine," she assured him though her voice was still thick with emotion. "Just.. nostalgic, that's all. It's been so long..."
It's more than easy to use his other arm and lean forward, draping it around her shoulders and bringing her close enough to comfort. Hell, it's not like he understands half of this -- about worlds colliding and what-not, but he knows that he'd want the comfort, even if he never knows how to ask for it. "I can't exactly offer a lyre, but I do have a good shoulder to cry on. You could always tell me...about them," he finishes, slightly unsure, but knowing he can manage.
With a sniffle she let her head fall to his shoulder. It wasn't the same, not nearly, as it would have been with her McCoy, but the thought, the effort counted and helped. She felt so alone sometimes and knowing that despite their differences he cared helped.
She laughed -- a strangled little sound -- at the mention of the lyre. "You wouldn't be any good at it anyway, sorry," she told him with a faint smile. "Spock said that I was the only human he knew with any aptitude for it. I know he looks so put out in this -- He always looks put out, doesn't he? -- but we used to do this all the time. More so when we were both junior officers."
He knows that it's not weird for her, or it is, but in a whole other way, but Jim's sort of rapt. He knows all about this guy, his husband and his eidetic memory have seen to that, but this is the first time actually seeing him. Jim stares at him for a long moment. "Do you think I was supposed to look more like him and someone fucked up?"
"I think you look exactly as you're supposed to," she said, forcing some cheer and strength into her voice. If anything, she knew that these were two different men. One apparently had no bearing on the other.
She sniffed once and wiped the tears from her cheeks, not out of shame or embarrassment, but maybe a small sense of vanity. And it really wasn't meant to be all that sad. "Do you want me to pause it? Too weird?"
He shakes his head and drops down on the couch beside her, arms folded across his chest.
"You watched mine with me. Least I can do is watch yours with you, right? Plus, I've gotta say, I'm kind of curious about this dude. I'm pretty sure my husband was in love with him before he even met me."
She passed a glance over him, taking in the body language. She didn't know what to make of the wedding, except to be happy for them so that was what she did. But little moments like this made her curious.
"How? Isn't it just a television show in his world?" she asked, tucking her legs up under her and putting her gaze back to the screen. "It's just a picture, a piece. Not a full man."
Jean doesn't want to interupt. It might be in the middle of the rec room, speakers giving away what is going on the screen, but one look tells her that the woman watching the screen is the woman that is on the screen.
Her attempts to stay away come to much of nothing as she fails to notice a chair that is pulled away from one of the tables until her shin hits it. Letting out a sharp gasp of pain, she stumbles back cursing the clumsiness that has seized her.
"Sorry!" she says as way of apology, waving a hand at the woman. "Accidents happen, all of that. Don't let me interrupt."
There was a weak sniffle, but when Uhura turned to look at the source of the voice, the greatest part of the sorrow had left her expression. It wouldn't do to mourn too long when life was going on around her.
"Oh, don't be silly. No need to apologize," she assured her, rising from her seat. "Are you alright? Do you need a hand?"
Rubbing her elbow Jean shakes her head, offering up something of a rueful smile. She isn't certain which she regrets more at the moment: the fact that she caused an interruption or that she managed to get hurt in the process.
"Oh no, I'm fine. Thank you for asking. Sometimes I just get clumsy, not often but enough to take me by surprise."
"If it didn't take you by surprise, you wouldn't be clumsy anymore. Or you'd just be a masochist," Uhura deduced in a light, amused tone. "But you don't look like the latter to me."
It was an unexpected sight to say the least, even here, someone watching her own life unfold on the screen. Moira hadn't meant to pry, but it had caught her attention as she searched the bookshelf, and the strangeness of it hadn't escaped her notice. Then, too, there was the fact that it was something recognizable, though she had, regardless of her own life, never been very much of a science-fiction fan. She hadn't meant to say anything either, but she was struck by the woman's expression. "Homesick?" she asked gently.
So enthralled by what was happening on screen -- questionable prop work and camera angles aside -- Uhura had failed to notice anything else around her. But when the woman's voice did break through, she quickly brushed the tears from her eyes. "Oh, just a little," she said, then laughed gently and offered a genuine smile. "Well, a lot really, but there's nothing to be done about it, is there?"
"Nothin' at all," Moira said, nodding, "but rememberin' it fondly's somethin'. I'd say, ye make a new one, but that'd be hypocrisy." She'd settled in here as best as anyone could ever expect her to, but that hardly meant she was pleased with her lot. She had done worse in her time, but that never stopped a body from wanting better. "Sorry t' intrude like that."
An eyebrow lifted -- hypocrisy, hm? -- but she shook her head and waved a hand dismissively. "You're not intruding. I'm... well, in public and not exactly trying to be secretive." Perhaps she should have. More privacy and less to admit to that way. But just the thought of smuggling away rolls of film and a projector to some abandoned room hidden downstairs made her feel dirty, unnecessarily so. "Or maybe I needed an intrusion. It's a lot to watch."
For several minutes Spock has been standing in the middle of the room behind her, not having intended to intrude but unable to resist the curiosity upon the screen. This is the alternate reality, then, and that is himself-Or rather, some version of himself-clearly as fond of Uhura as she is of him.
Some things, he supposes, transcend quantum physics.
For a moment, she couldn't understand why she had heard Spock's voice utter that word and yet the image of him on screen had no moved his lips. She wiped away her tears and laughed at her own stupidity before turning around in her seat. Fascinating could mean anything, but generally it did not imply anger. There was at least that.
".. I can't tell which of you is the better player," she began, trying to recover with something light and an almost shy smile. "What do you think?"
"My counterpart is likely to be more technically proficient by virtue of having more experience," Spock answers, although he can hardly tell himself, under the circumstances. "It would appear he found you quite distracting," he notes, to explain the discrepancy.
"Oh this is an old game," she laughed. She thought nothing of it, their back and forth teasing an accepted and cherished part of life on the Enterprise. It wasn't until now, with the knowledge of this Spock's choices, that she had reason to pause as she did now, looking at the screen, considering.
No, never, she told herself. "He knows I can't resist a song. If anything, he's distracting me."
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"Oh, I'm fine," she assured him though her voice was still thick with emotion. "Just.. nostalgic, that's all. It's been so long..."
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She laughed -- a strangled little sound -- at the mention of the lyre. "You wouldn't be any good at it anyway, sorry," she told him with a faint smile. "Spock said that I was the only human he knew with any aptitude for it. I know he looks so put out in this -- He always looks put out, doesn't he? -- but we used to do this all the time. More so when we were both junior officers."
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He knows that it's not weird for her, or it is, but in a whole other way, but Jim's sort of rapt. He knows all about this guy, his husband and his eidetic memory have seen to that, but this is the first time actually seeing him. Jim stares at him for a long moment. "Do you think I was supposed to look more like him and someone fucked up?"
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She sniffed once and wiped the tears from her cheeks, not out of shame or embarrassment, but maybe a small sense of vanity. And it really wasn't meant to be all that sad. "Do you want me to pause it? Too weird?"
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"You watched mine with me. Least I can do is watch yours with you, right? Plus, I've gotta say, I'm kind of curious about this dude. I'm pretty sure my husband was in love with him before he even met me."
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"How? Isn't it just a television show in his world?" she asked, tucking her legs up under her and putting her gaze back to the screen. "It's just a picture, a piece. Not a full man."
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Her attempts to stay away come to much of nothing as she fails to notice a chair that is pulled away from one of the tables until her shin hits it. Letting out a sharp gasp of pain, she stumbles back cursing the clumsiness that has seized her.
"Sorry!" she says as way of apology, waving a hand at the woman. "Accidents happen, all of that. Don't let me interrupt."
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"Oh, don't be silly. No need to apologize," she assured her, rising from her seat. "Are you alright? Do you need a hand?"
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"Oh no, I'm fine. Thank you for asking. Sometimes I just get clumsy, not often but enough to take me by surprise."
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For several minutes Spock has been standing in the middle of the room behind her, not having intended to intrude but unable to resist the curiosity upon the screen. This is the alternate reality, then, and that is himself-Or rather, some version of himself-clearly as fond of Uhura as she is of him.
Some things, he supposes, transcend quantum physics.
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".. I can't tell which of you is the better player," she began, trying to recover with something light and an almost shy smile. "What do you think?"
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No, never, she told herself. "He knows I can't resist a song. If anything, he's distracting me."
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