The Aftermath of Tragedy

[ellorgast]

Quick story based on a conversation in which V asked me how Neil was handling Canada getting decimated by the USA on Sunday. I realize that they've still got another shot at hockey gold, but it was a tragic evening for Canadians, and the story's more fun if I ignore that fact

Comments

[elvisvf101]

"...Okay. I don't know what standards you go by, but when a man is in a fetal position on the ground with no pants on, I generally consider that to be the point at which you quit kicking him in the face."

"You are way too uptight, man."

You win the internet. FOREVER!

Also,

RYAN FREAKING MILLER!

So yeah, I am in your neck of the woods in less than 48 hours. I'll be the one guy rocking the stars and stripes in the sea of red and likely murdered the next day. If I die, I'm totally blaming you.

USA! USA! USA!

[ellorgast]

HAW, don't worry, El, I saw tons of Americans when I was over last week. Even saw a group of guys in which one was dressed as Superman, the second as Captain America, and the third as just some dude with an American flag cape. Just be cool, and don't be like the douche family that started speaking in a fake-French accent to amuse their kids, because there are real Francophones around who would likely stab you.

Dude, do you know which game you get to see? Also, you're going on the weekend, so enjoy those crowds and lineups. Even on a weekday, I couldn't be bothered to line up for all the regional houses I wanted to get into. But it's still pretty awesome just to be there. Protip: hit up a Starbucks for a mini pocket map of downtown. Also keep an eye out for the translink pocket maps, which have all the sky train routes on them. There are volunteers all over who stand on street corners to tell you where to go, so it's really easy to find your way around.

Freaking Ryan Miller. Boo USA.

Thanks El! Enjoy the heck out of your

[elvisvf101]

Thanks for the tips

[ellorgast]

There are people at all the sky train stations who can direct you, and they might also have those maps. It's pretty easy once you're on it

[lovelylytton]

Oh, naked Neil with body paint, monster socks and only underwear for clothing is the best example of fanservice in the history of fanservice. You serviced me well, my dear!

I don't know the first thing about hockey, so I can sympathise with Mamoru here. I wonder if you will ever write anything monstersocks related that won't do directly to the memories. I seriously doubt it.
Once again, you made me laugh. Thank you!

[ellorgast]

:D Glad this fanservice is so high in your estimation!

Oh wow, thank you Lytton! I'm honored to have my stuff go in your memories! Glad to make you laugh!

[ellorgast]

And yes, do please imagine this man painted red with a flag-cape. You have been serviced. :D

[venusorbit1]

There are so many parts of this that made me laugh that I had to go back and read it again this morning just to have my daily fulfillment of happy. O poor Neil! You've got it spot-on that 90% of bromance is fucking with the other guy, especially when he's down or his team loses. It's perfect! And Mamoru doesn't know that rule yet...awww. He will, by God, he will.

And now I quote the parts I like and tell you why!

"The socks failed," came the muffled response.

AWWW. Is it because Sasha washed them, or is their power only on the wearer? This is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real.

Jaden dug around in the fridge. "Fuck yeah, I saw him. I've already taken pictures and posted them all over Facebook."HOW I LOVE JADEN! That is EXACTLY what you are supposed to do: immortalize your friend's misery on film, and then distribute it to the Internet. Also a huge HAAAAAAAAAAAA! to drawing star-spangled dicks on his face!! XD Actually his misplaced patriotism is adorable, because I would wager that maybe 1/10 of the US population are hocky

[ellorgast]

THANK YOU V! So glad this could make you happy! :D

I think he's going to pout and blame it on Sasha for a while, but he'll rally and convince himself that the luck only works within a certain proximity, and also that he was out-lucked by the USA Miracle on Ice vintage jerseys.

Jaden really DOESN'T CARE and is a total bandwagon jumper. "Oh, they're good? I mean, of COURSE they are! USA, bitch!"

Meanwhile, apparently 2/3 of all Canadians were watching Sunday's game. TWO. THIRDS.

Me, outdo Colbert? :O Noooooooo, that ain't possible.

My first instinct is to have someone try to comfort him, but then I remembered that this is Neil, and he would take such affirmation as a sign that he needs to whine MORE to milk that attention. Jaden is way smart, realizing that the only thing that would cheer Neil up is the hope of one of his other teams winning.

I bet Neil was a total shit about the women's gold last night, too. I bet he ran through the streets trailing his flag-cape, screaming O Canada.

[venusorbit1]

AH so THAT's what the "motherfucking jerseys" meant! I thought it was a throwaway line, and then you mentioned it and I had to google...yeah...that's some powerful anti-sock mojo right there, especially since there was a whole team of jerseys and only one pair of socks.

I'm sitting right next to Jaden on the bandwagon, flicking the horses while painted red white and blue...if the weekend clears up maybe I'll even try and watch the medal game and try and spot El! Unless it occurs outside of daylight hours for me. Damn, if Canadia loses to the US again, will 30 million people all commit suicide at once? Can you write Neil's reaction to that game, too, regardless of outcome?? Either he's going to be trying to erase his memory with alcohol or thrusting his crotch into Jaden's face (more probable outcome right here!).

HAHAHHAA, Neil so did. Apparently though, the US team has hot blonde twins. It's win-win for him all around.

(I also had to google Brodeur. I can't keep track of all the iceholes!)

[ellorgast]

You have no idea how long it took me to find any documentation about what was up with the jerseys. The announcers mentioned them a lot, but seeing as how I wasn't even born 30 years ago, it doesn't mean much to me. And then I ended up only mentioning them in passing anyway.

I'll try, but I don't know what to do without being repetitive from this one. Maybe just a quick drabble. Or I could do something with them dragging Mamoru out. Neil getting paint-smeared winning kisses sounds appealing too.

I'll tell you a secret, V, and that's that I DON'T KNOW A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT about hockey. I guess I'm a borderline bandwagon-jumper, but being Canadian gives me a free Hockey Fan ticket that allows me to hop on whenever I please. Also, I have always vaguely liked it, I'm just not the type to follow names and stats and stuff. So all these names and facts, I just noted down names the announcers repeated a lot, and reviewed news reports about the games.

I'm learning, though!

SYRUP-SUCKING ICEHOLE! <3

[venusorbit1]

Sorry! Had to post that prematurely because our connection went apeshit and didn't want to lose it!

Where was I? OH YES. Neil the Drunk Canadian Slug retrieving his balls for the next round! HEEE. And Sasha! I love Sasha now even more...he went up like a billion points for his awesome body-graffiti (which is probably now also on Facebook!) ..oh shit I would NOT want to be around Neil when he finds out what's on his back. And it made me giggle like a little kid because it was just so perfectly immature!!!!!!!!!

Wait. He wore his cape out to a bar with body paint. OMG. He's "that guy" NEIL IS "THAT GUY"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD XD XD LAUGHING FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!! And he so lost his fucking pants before he made it home! They were probably Kain's pants, too!!! :D

How drunk is Neil? Very, right?
Is he going to clean the red paint out of the bathtub?
Is this:

"Okay, this is serious. We're fucking kidnapping you this weekend, and don't think I can't convince Kain to get on board with this, because that man is entirely too willing to involve

Re: SYRUP-SUCKING ICEHOLE! <3

[ellorgast]

Know what would be even better, is if Sasha got him AGAIN before Neil saw those photos. Neil running around screaming about Canadian women, with something about frozen vagina on his back.

HE IS DEFINITELY "THAT GUY." Even better, he is "that guy" in a place where NOBODY ELSE CARES.

Very drunk. Probably won't clean out the red paint. In fact, I think he's going to have to be convinced to clean the red paint of HIMSELF to begin with, so he doesn't wake up in the morning with red sheets.

It COULD be the precursor! No wonder Mamoru's all grumpy about this trip.

HAW, V, I love you. I'll keep up with the Monstersock crew for you!

I learned something new from that part too, because I had no idea that Ashley MacIsaac was Canadian. I thought, like, Ireland had the market cornered on rocking male fiddle players.

Enjoy that grass hut! I bet it matches your bikini and grass skirt very nicely.

A billion <3333 to you, V!

Re: SYRUP-SUCKING ICEHOLE! <3

[elianthos]

*hacks* please write moar MonsterSock . And put the frozen vagina writing in it somehow *_________*

Re: SYRUP-SUCKING ICEHOLE! <3

[venusorbit1]

OR Sasha getting Jaden with the star spangled cocks on his face while he sleeps after the US team is murdered by the iceholes on Sunday. It's not a competition until someone has a cock on their face!

HAW. Mamoru should just let him sleep in the bathtub to minimize the spread of red paint through the house. Also that would be a funny picture to stick on facebook!

I am SO LOOKING FORWARD TO NAKED HOCKY!

What is this "bikini" you speak of? I wear coconuts on my boobs as is SOP unless it is a formal occasion, in which case I wear a Lilo and Stitch muu-muu.

[elianthos]

oh, lordy XDDDD

favourite sentence/imagery is probably this
'Neil was like a red and white slug in the flickering darkness, slithering around the scotch bottle.' <3333333
Also... tell me Sasha used edible body paint, so that I can lick it all away. RAWR *ahem*

Neph's 'outift': love (tellmethemissingpantsareKain'splease XDD)
Jaden and his FB picspam: love love
Mamoru and his tight-ass morals: moar love *cuddlepetgropefeedtucks*
Star-striped dicks on face threat: LOVE

Shimmy: LOOOOOOOOVE YOUUU <3333333 . You're a worthy member of the Sailor Chinko-RabuRabu Team ;D

[ellorgast]

For you, Eli, I will say yes, the paint is edible.

The pants are PROBABLY Kain's.

Mamoru never stops being a tight-ass. XD

OOOH I do not know what this team is, but I am honored to be admitted!

[elianthos]

aww, you're so kind to this crazy one Edible for me? As in: ' well, it's normal paint, but you can digest it becasue you're Neil in drags'? *_* XD Watch me as I paint twin maple leaves on my coconuts XDD.

Probably? Only? he's the only one having his same size in this 'verse. Or he hadn't bother to weer any pants at all XDD?

Tight ass is always <333, morals or otherwise :Q___

Chinko-rabu = code message ;p
---

I approve of V's ideas for Neil and the next Monster!Sock sequel, making up and smearing with random ladies included, and dicks on face XD. Also, you can have him lick his armpit - with smeared red paint! -
a) in celebration frenzy for Canada's victory
b) as bet punishment for Canada's defeat :>

[ellorgast]

They could have been Kain's or they could have been Neil's. But they were probably Kain's.

Man, you're all pressuring me on the armpit-licking. It's not going to be funny anymore when I finally do write it. I already have plans for where I want to use it and it's not on questionably edible paint. XD