The Aftermath of Tragedy

[ellorgast]

Quick story based on a conversation in which V asked me how Neil was handling Canada getting decimated by the USA on Sunday. I realize that they've still got another shot at hockey gold, but it was a tragic evening for Canadians, and the story's more fun if I ignore that fact

Comments

[venusorbit1]

There are so many parts of this that made me laugh that I had to go back and read it again this morning just to have my daily fulfillment of happy. O poor Neil! You've got it spot-on that 90% of bromance is fucking with the other guy, especially when he's down or his team loses. It's perfect! And Mamoru doesn't know that rule yet...awww. He will, by God, he will.

And now I quote the parts I like and tell you why!

"The socks failed," came the muffled response.

AWWW. Is it because Sasha washed them, or is their power only on the wearer? This is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real.

Jaden dug around in the fridge. "Fuck yeah, I saw him. I've already taken pictures and posted them all over Facebook."

HOW I LOVE JADEN! That is EXACTLY what you are supposed to do: immortalize your friend's misery on film, and then distribute it to the Internet. Also a huge HAAAAAAAAAAAA! to drawing star-spangled dicks on his face!! XD Actually his misplaced patriotism is adorable, because I would wager that maybe 1/10 of the US population are hocky fans, and even less are Olympic hocky fans, and even less were even watching it because of NBC and it's cruddy time delays, but shit, we beat someone important and it's suddenly all http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

Of course, El falls into this 1/10 :D The rest of the population is crying over LT getting cut from the Chargers.

EVERY Colbert-knock on Canadians was fucking hilarious! I think you even OUTDID him a couple of times! And me! "Syrup-covered frozen wastehole!" HAAAAAAA. I have no concept of what it's like so that's what I picture, too!

By the way, the way you described Neil is PERFECT. I can see the poor shit laying there with his socks and undies and smeared up paint! I can even practically SMELL homeboy there! (Scotch, greasepaint, sweat, and Arctic Force). And then it's freaking HILARIOUS the way Jaden reanimates him from the dead with more taunting!

POSTING

[ellorgast]

THANK YOU V! So glad this could make you happy! :D

I think he's going to pout and blame it on Sasha for a while, but he'll rally and convince himself that the luck only works within a certain proximity, and also that he was out-lucked by the USA Miracle on Ice vintage jerseys.

Jaden really DOESN'T CARE and is a total bandwagon jumper. "Oh, they're good? I mean, of COURSE they are! USA, bitch!"

Meanwhile, apparently 2/3 of all Canadians were watching Sunday's game. TWO. THIRDS.

Me, outdo Colbert? :O Noooooooo, that ain't possible.

My first instinct is to have someone try to comfort him, but then I remembered that this is Neil, and he would take such affirmation as a sign that he needs to whine MORE to milk that attention. Jaden is way smart, realizing that the only thing that would cheer Neil up is the hope of one of his other teams winning.

I bet Neil was a total shit about the women's gold last night, too. I bet he ran through the streets trailing his flag-cape, screaming O Canada.

[venusorbit1]

AH so THAT's what the "motherfucking jerseys" meant! I thought it was a throwaway line, and then you mentioned it and I had to google...yeah...that's some powerful anti-sock mojo right there, especially since there was a whole team of jerseys and only one pair of socks.

I'm sitting right next to Jaden on the bandwagon, flicking the horses while painted red white and blue...if the weekend clears up maybe I'll even try and watch the medal game and try and spot El! Unless it occurs outside of daylight hours for me. Damn, if Canadia loses to the US again, will 30 million people all commit suicide at once? Can you write Neil's reaction to that game, too, regardless of outcome?? Either he's going to be trying to erase his memory with alcohol or thrusting his crotch into Jaden's face (more probable outcome right here!).

HAHAHHAA, Neil so did. Apparently though, the US team has hot blonde twins. It's win-win for him all around.

(I also had to google Brodeur. I can't keep track of all the iceholes!)

[ellorgast]

You have no idea how long it took me to find any documentation about what was up with the jerseys. The announcers mentioned them a lot, but seeing as how I wasn't even born 30 years ago, it doesn't mean much to me. And then I ended up only mentioning them in passing anyway.

I'll try, but I don't know what to do without being repetitive from this one. Maybe just a quick drabble. Or I could do something with them dragging Mamoru out. Neil getting paint-smeared winning kisses sounds appealing too.

I'll tell you a secret, V, and that's that I DON'T KNOW A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT about hockey. I guess I'm a borderline bandwagon-jumper, but being Canadian gives me a free Hockey Fan ticket that allows me to hop on whenever I please. Also, I have always vaguely liked it, I'm just not the type to follow names and stats and stuff. So all these names and facts, I just noted down names the announcers repeated a lot, and reviewed news reports about the games.

I'm learning, though!