I put a whole bunch of pictures in my new album. My plan is to spread out the pictures I have of you so that it isn't as easy to tell that you aren't in any of the new ones. I miss you!

I feel bad when I am told of others people's sad stories because there is a part of me that tunes it all out- a part that doesn't feel bad- because I still feel like ( Read more... )

I just walked into the kitchen to put some papers on the table so I wouldn't forget them tomorrow morning and as I turned to walk back down the hall I smelt you. I smelt you on a hot summer day, in old stale air- the familiar scent of you. And I tried to hold on to it but had already exhaled only to take another deep breath but you were gone.

I ( Read more... )

went to aunt mary's wake-. On the drive home I thought to myself how odd they had her in her glasses. Then I remembered you had your glasses and yet that wasn't odd at all. I then remembered that you weren't at home waiting for us. Just then I remembered you, there, in the. and it hit me, like it was something i didn't know yet- as hard as when it ( Read more... )

I love it- every time I look down at my wrist I think of you and I sing the song and I think of us singing the song to mom when she didn't know what song I was talking about. I'm so glad we went with this song- no more than ever it fits so perfectly- honestly God only know what I'd be if I didn't have you as my dad. and it reminds me just how lucky ( Read more... )

I don't take comfort in that it is the end of the firsts. I don't care how many holidays and celebration we go through from now on, there is nothing that will stop me from realizing that you aren't there. I will be bitter and sad and the day will always be a little less enjoyable not having you there to celebrate with us. It will never be easy ( Read more... )

Can't believe tomorrow marks a year. Can't believe how much i still miss you, how quickly I lose it when someone randomly asks about you or how I am doing. I still cry at night thinking about you- though not as often.

I feel guilty sometimes that I am not holding up my part of the deal that I am still not talking to you as often as you'd like, but ( Read more... )

Did I mention I didn't want to do it.  I didn't want to have it without you. and didn't feel like his day- at least I tried to make it not.
I know you loved it- I know you were happy we did- your picture though was no replacement for the real thing

And there is that hit again. Like some how it was all a bad dream and the time he's not home is cause he's at work. But it's not a dream and he really isn't here and in just a month it will be a year- a year that he has been missing and I can't believe it. How did a year go by when I feel like it just happened. I've been having a lot of flashback ( Read more... )

I don't like being reminded about how unfair it is that grandma out lived you. I know- believe I know but I hate hearing someone else say it.

I also hate that I can't bring up jokes our "inside jokes" to you anymore. I wanted so badly on Sunday to go up to you and say..."Hey read my mind?!"

No cooperation no cooperation at all!!

It's not that I didn't want to be working with him. He is very capable you showed him a lot and taught him well.
I just rather I had been working with you- admiring the finished product with you.
It is so weird to see your workshop exactly as you left it. As if one day you are coming right back to it and all the unfinished projects scattered about.
( Read more... )