Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 23 part 1

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Exposed Chapter 23 part 1

Aug 31, 2011 13:17

Well, here's another chapter.( Read more... )

show don't tell, please form an orderly queue, did not do the bloody research, how do i used tense, expospeak, pov!fail, hogwarts school of oratory, harry is an idiot, hogwarts roboticised, priorities be damned, facepalming in frustration, message from fred, americanisms in the potterverse, damning with faint praise, madam malkin's mugglewear, convention of the psychics, that's why commas matter, badfic:hogwarts exposed, ginny/invisible man otp!, wrong word dammit, a description would be nice, department of redundancy department, it's contrived excuse time!, i can has characterisation, draco trilogy wants him back, sexism, you fail feminism forever, nudity for everyone, harry potter, said bookism, exact eavesdropping, literally stupid, continuity isn't optional, snape is ooc

Comments 119

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 12:49:19 UTC

"At that moment Caitlin enter the Common Room wearing a pair of baggy short shorts and a mini top that just covered her nipples."

*twitch*

zenithewonder August 31 2011, 15:43:54 UTC

I'm starting to wonder if Hogwarts has a dress code or not, because that would not fly at ANY school I've attended- and I've attended many, many kinds of schools.

szaleniec1000 August 31 2011, 16:00:48 UTC

At the very least they should be wearing robes. I have no doubt that a well-designed robe, possibly based on the Quidditch robes and maybe with some magical enhancement, would be suitable for doing one's morning run in.

danel4d September 1 2011, 08:33:46 UTC

Hell, a robe would let Jamie fulfil her inexplicable urge to let everything flop around without also exposing her to all and sundry.

Thread 16

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 12:51:56 UTC

"Ever-present? Really? Even when her parents were killed, her favourite teacher kidnapped and her adopted little sister figure hospitalised?"

Shhh, you're bringing logic into this fanfic! Do that too much, and the entire narrative will collapse under its own ineptitude!

szaleniec1000 August 31 2011, 13:17:01 UTC

And there's the fact that she cries in every other scene. Presumably whilst smiling? *falls into collapsing narrative*

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 13:57:09 UTC

*dives and grabs for szaleniec's hand*

I gotcha, buddy!

szaleniec1000 August 31 2011, 14:20:19 UTC

Phew, thanks! Got to watch out for those plot holes. They open up when you least expect it.

Thread 8

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 12:53:40 UTC

"I’m so glad you both finally woke up to the realization that you were meant for each other."

Katie: Which is why I went and kissed you in a way that would definitely make a committed man uncomfortable!

szaleniec1000 August 31 2011, 16:26:32 UTC

It's okay, because Hermione told her to for the lulz. Because, you know, Hermione is such a practical joker. Especially in this fic where she has all the initiative of a housefly.

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 12:56:13 UTC

"The years certainly have been kind to her. You were busy snogging and probably didn’t notice but she has great legs that end up making one beautiful ass out of themselves."

*opens mouth to snark*

*closes it*

*Stares at this sentence, dumbfounded*

This sentence annoys the living hell outta me...and I have no idea why...

Help me out, here...

szaleniec1000 August 31 2011, 13:17:33 UTC

The fact that Draco would probably say "arse" is the least of what's wrong with it.

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 12:57:50 UTC

“She was kissing me. I wasn’t kissing her. Besides she was just excited. Katie was just hired as Charlie’s replacement.”

I just realized...

Did Neil ever give us a reason why Charlie's leaving?

szaleniec1000 August 31 2011, 13:14:00 UTC

I'd forgotten that Charlie was even at Hogwarts for all he does in the fic.

sickbritkid2 August 31 2011, 13:58:11 UTC

So it would seem that the answer to my question is "No."