SEC staffers watched porn as economy crashed

They're a bunch of dumb geeks with computers, what did you think they were going to do? Though seriously, sleezo central at times. True story.

I laughed so hard I cried.

Confession Meme // I'm listening

It never ceases to amaze me how foul and little some people are.  Not to mention touched in the head.  Today, at work someone told me to, and I quote: "Shut your mouth before I fuck it."

You pull in a six figure salary and you play me like that?

I laughed so hard I cried and then I destroyed his ratings.

I am not merciful.

I LOVE DON FLACK SO MUCH THAT I GOT HIM A REAL LIFE ELEPHANT.
THIS IS YOUR FUTURE.

Answering the phone: "What the fuck do you want, fuck-face?"  is not appropriate for the work place.

THE FUCK IT ISN'T!

ETA:  From last job.

"Hello, welcome to Cook County, home of our world famous County Burger, and the Maria Pappas Milkshake, may I take your order please?"

"You're not allowed to go home for lunch breaks any more."

"DENIED."

You know, I honestly believe that if Danny and I ever have children, this is what they'll act like.

Click to view

Me: Psssst, Pssst, hey! HEY!

Geoff: Can I help you, little girl?

Me: Guess, guess what!

Geoff: This better be fantastic.

Me: GOTTA GUESS

Geoff: I don't care if you're a girl; if this is about puppies I am going slap you right across the face.

Me: . . . .

It's not about puppies.

Geoff: That was my guess.

Me: I GOT MATCHES

"dictionary.com is loose and flippant with it's definitions."

"Dictionary.com has had a couple glasses of wine and doesn't much care for your accusations."

ALSO

Be happy or DIE

G:  What does it take to fuck a light socket?
Me:  Fortitude and rubber soled shoes
G:  *through gritted teeth*  I'm soooo grounded right now.