I just got a telegram from my period. It was very interesting:
I know you thought I was gone. STOP
Whore. STOP
Don't try to throw your cheap Tylenol at me. STOP
You should have stocked up on Midol. STOP
I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER. STOP
See what I did there? STOP
I'm back BIZNATCH! STOP
And I had to tip the courier. My period is a
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