Where I want to be in the next 5 years:

- In grad school: I'M GRADUATING IN MAY!

- In a good position with my job and career: I'M TAKING OVER THE PROGRAM IN 3.5 MONTHS!

- near family: I'm 3 hrs closer

- low debt minus: I paid off all my credit card debt then amassed more.

- positive: working on this one

- identifying the positive in others and ( Read more... )

Where I want to be in the next 5 years:

- In grad school

- In a good position with my job and career

- near family

- low debt minus

- positive

- identifying the positive in others and helping to recognize it and grow it

- moved away from pettiness

- closer to family that is physcially closer to us

- ACTIVE.  I really want to want this if that ( Read more... )

And so begins another entry wherein I become distracted by my inability to spell my phrase word or chosen theme word of the day.  Fullfilled - Fulfilled oh there it is - one extra l.

I'm sitting here thinking about my day and trying to process it all.  It really and truly was one of the most overwhelming days I've had in a long time. I felt so ( Read more... )

I want:

A bike

Less debt

A better paying job

more time with family

Crotchet skills

Infinite patience

3 day weekends

Less responsbility

A Ph.D

I Have:

Healthy beautiful children

A wonderful husband

Mostly good health

A roof over my head

Enough money to pay the bills and eat (mostly)

A good job that is allowing me to grow and will hopefully pay ( Read more... )

Yesterday I was driving down the road after grocery shopping - preparing to have family over and maybe that was what contributed to my emotional-ness but I felt my grief about my dad all over again.  And what set it off was an uba-duba with gigantic boobs walking into Wal-dog.  I heard his voice in my head saying "DAMN!" and saw his face turning to ( Read more... )

I'm standing here at a crossroads of sorts, seeing as far as I can into what the future may bring.  I have decided that coming up will be choices that will drastically alter my life.  There is one where I could stay where I am right now, working the same job, doing the same chores day in and day out until I graduate and probably still after that.  ( Read more... )

 I'm stuck.  Stuck in a wheel of repetitive emotions, words, and caresses.  "baby" "babe...." bullshit.  Is that how it works?  You get a dance down that you like and you wait for someone to come along that matches your tune?  But until then you just keep on dancing that same worn ass routine?  Down with the same bullshit you gave all those other ( Read more... )

 I'm disappointed in myself.  What else is new?  

I feel free.  I feel scared.  I feel excited.  I feel... overwhelmed.  To say that what is going on inside of me is anything less than a hurricane of emotions would probably be dramatic but close... close to describing all the thoughts and feelings swirling chaotically inside of me ( Read more... )

So I guess happiness acts as a poor muse when it comes to my writing.  And that is what I have felt these past 6 months.  A continual justification for my choices.  Like eating a chocolate bar wrapped in rice crispies, wrapped in cake balls coated in fudge and caramel goodness.  Each bite continuously verifying and validating every step taken that ( Read more... )