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Money lent is money spent
A few years ago a friend of mine was whining at me about some money he had lent a mutual acquaintance. I can't remember if I ever knew who the acquaintance was, or how much it was, or for what ( Read more... ) -
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three days in a row I've had to dip into my antianxiety meds (on top of my daily antianxiety meds). it's been a rare day this past week that I've been out of a bathrobe before 11am
i've hit the wall -
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Tomorrow morning I have a meeting where I'm going to be asked to be a section head, likely eventually leading a costume build team of 20+.
kill me now
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I was productive for fifteen minutes today. So, yay?
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What to do...
I gave up a lucrative (though very stressful) day job to become a fulltime artisan fifteen years ago.
Now my art has become unsatisfying drudge work. My love of craft has become hateful resentment. The film biz has damaged my mental health in ways I didn't think were possible.
I just want to pay the bills and not hate life. It seems that too much ( Read more... ) -
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Anxiety at peak/barely-below-flatout-panic level for weeks now all the time.
ALL. THE. TIME.
Things were stressful enough to begin with, but I suspect the neurosurgeon consult next week is pushing things closer to the point of failure. The surgical solutions to my ailment are not trivial.
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Days and days of horrific dreams... breaking the face of a child with a punch, covering the mouth and stabbing the heart of a handful of sleeping folk that might expose me to danger, taking hidden cover and leaving exposed people to zombies... fun times.
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Well, here we all are
Another old friend passed away this evening. I visited him in the ICU six hours earlier. He had had a heart attack a little over two weeks ago, was seeming to be on a cautious road to recovery, but suffered another yesterday. Fentanyl isn't usually a drug they give to folk expected to survive ( Read more... ) -
2013 comes back to bite me...
Reading my entries from 2013 are frightening, and there's been a lot of therapy and meds in the interim to recover from that job. I went without work for a year and a half because of the GAD, PTSD, Depersonalisation Disorder, et al from that experience ( Read more... )
