LOL I wasn't offended, it just cracked me up. It was good, actually, because I was spitting mad and needed a good laugh.
I would take your suggestion, but my sisters have already retreated from my mom, and that has genuinely broken her heart. I'm not willing to take the same tactic and ACTUALLY have her be three for three with her adopted daughters basically abandoning her. -_- I wouldn't, either, but you'd never know that to hear my Stepfather tell it.
Wow, what an amazingly hurtful, passive-aggressive, mean-spirited e mail your dad sent! Oh, and with a nice side dish of "And after all we've she's done for you, you ingrate!" in there too. My mind is boggling.
One would think you'd killed the poor woman, by the way he reacted. Good grief.
Seriously. I was trying to be really uber gentle too, 'cause she's my freaking mom. But where he's concerned, I'm a bad person and that's all he ever needs to know before rendering judgment.
Yeah, I'm actually in a much better mood right now because even though I'm stressing over how I'm going to fix this miscommunication with my mom and repair our relationship without my stepfather's interference, I didn't break down and cry when I got this letter. I didn't even feel worthless. I just got angry. For me, that represents great, great progress. Because this is the same pattern as when I was a kid. I'd do something that pissed him off, he'd dress me down and make me feel two inches tall, I'd cry and do whatever it took to be a 'good girl', an ideal which was always increasingly further out of reach. I was pathetic, but I'm not anymore. My self-esteem and sense of worth has grown by leaps and bounds, and I guess I didn't realize how much until I was able to compare my current reaction to my childhood self's reaction and realize how far I've come
( ... )
My mom and I are pretty close and she doesn't get to see many of her grandchildren because of distance or damaged relationships with my sisters. Not being able to see Jake would be terrible for her. This is something I need to fix, not withdraw from.
I've been considering it. And trying to convince myself that "You can fuck right off with your white knight complex" is not the best phrasing to use if I do. There's so much I want to say to him, all the detritus of years of emotional abuse, it all gets jumbled over and around in my head.
I want to have a relationship with my mom. Usually we have a good one. It's just that somehow when I said "Let schedule visits around church instead of during," she somehow heard "I hate you and want you to die." I have to fix that miscommunication somehow, and probably have to do an end run around my stepfather to do it, because as he clearly stated, he has no interest in hearing my side of the story and never has.
Yes, I just have to figure out where to start. My husband actually already e-mailed her trying to take the blame for it - his severe depression makes him basically hate all ideas of God and divinity because if they exist, they must be punishing him (seriously, he has the worst luck of anyone I've ever met through no fault of his own. His psychiatrist has even commented on it). One of the only ways for him to cope with his anger about it is to not believe there's anything up there. So where it makes me queasy and uncomfortable to hear my son singing praise songs, it makes him angry, and that's a problem.
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I think some distance is required. Geographical distance.
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It reminds me of this which also made me gigglefit when I saw the headline.
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I would take your suggestion, but my sisters have already retreated from my mom, and that has genuinely broken her heart. I'm not willing to take the same tactic and ACTUALLY have her be three for three with her adopted daughters basically abandoning her. -_- I wouldn't, either, but you'd never know that to hear my Stepfather tell it.
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Wow, what an amazingly hurtful, passive-aggressive, mean-spirited e mail your dad sent! Oh, and with a nice side dish of "And after all we've she's done for you, you ingrate!" in there too. My mind is boggling.
One would think you'd killed the poor woman, by the way he reacted. Good grief.
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Yeah, and all of that definitely showed in his e mail. God! D:
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Personally, I would be drawing the line in the sand and saying "no church, or no grandchild visits," but I am NOT A NICE PERSON when it comes to this.
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This may be coming from having to be Very Firm with my mother about not criticizing my teenager's gender non-conformity.
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Can you email your mom?
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