suzaku | oo1
Who: keptdown and you probably ...?
Where: EVERYWHERE-- somni business district.
Style: idk, i'll go with whatever you do.
Status: open.
( thinking is bad! )
Where: EVERYWHERE-- somni business district.
Style: idk, i'll go with whatever you do.
Status: open.
( thinking is bad! )
But, there was Lelouch (unsure, however, which 'Lelouch' he was addressing), all delicate bones, long limbs, and- and --
"Lelouch," as if he'd parrot it back and pick at all of the 'wrong' it was to call 'Zero' by that name, but could wait until a better time. Probably, at least; he wasn't sure if he would ever encounter the other again, because he really, truly, completely and utterly was not ready for this. But, it still hung in the back of his mind that this would (probably) make him a little more alert than he was before.
I am Zero, the back of his mind whispered, ( ... )
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What do I say? What do I possibly say? The conversation we had upon his arrival was disgraceful... And then I think of what C.C. said to me, how he doesn't want to see me. Of course, I know he doesn't want to see me, but he can't avoid me forever. There's no getting out of Somarium. We're stuck here. This won't get any easier.
A heavy heart raced with each firm footstep toward Suzaku, toward the deer in the headlights, each young man about to face something he was not ready to face. Once his eyes finally made contact with the green ones before him, they were locked and a mask was in place. Lelouch held tightly to the mask as he came to rest a few feet in front of his knight. He searched for a smile, digging as deep as he possibly could and pulling out the smallest one he could manage at present.
Small talk, perhaps.
"Are you having any difficulty finding your way around Somarium?" he questioned.
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"No. People are nice enough to point me where I need to go. It's hard to lose my way," he answers in response to the smile he's being shown. If Lelouch can pull something like that from somewhere deep inside of him, then Suzaku could at least indulge him and answer his question truthfully. Honesty is always the best policy.
He wants to turn away and run as far as he can -- as quickly as he can -- and never think of a situation like this again. At least, not in this way; not when Suzaku doesn't have Zero's mask to hide 'Suzaku' behind. Everything about him just doesn't feel right the way it is suddenly, in these clothes instead of the ones he's supposed to be in. It makes him feel out of place, and not -- well. Right. He's an idiot, yes, but he's no fool; he knows where he belongs, and where is place is (at Nunnally ( ... )
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He couldn't maintain it, he knew that his actions weren't fooling Suzaku and he certainly wasn't fooling himself. This man knew him better than most people did and a mask never fooled him, not ten years ago and not now.
If only things were how they were supposed to be.
How they were supposed to be...? How they were supposed to be? Ah, having Suzaku back at his side, playing the role of his knight, of his protector, his sword, and closest friend once again. That would be most convenient for Lelouch, for he's extremely selfish and doesn't quite understand that others may be facing a hardship worse than anything he's ever faced ( ... )
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"Just say it what you have to say. It's not like you to be speechless," he says, calm even though he probably doesn't want to hear what Lelouch has to say. One part of him is intrigued, curious (always), but another ... wants to curl into the fetal position and cover its ears. This voice has ordered many to their death, commanded an army and led rebellions. It's strong, powerful, and it's a voice that Suzaku truly will never get tired of.
That's why he wants Lelouch to speak. Speak and be heard. But, know that Lelouch is a hard shell to crack once he's withdrawn into himself, Suzaku says, "I want to hear it, Lelouch."
And he does want to hear Lelouch's voice, no matter what he has to say. Sincerely; looking right at Lelouch and not turning away. This is no lie, and it's strange; he hasn't spoken this much since he ( ... )
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"How funny you want to hear what I've to say right now when the last time we spoke you were quite adamant about having nothing to do with me," he said, his voice was cold, powerful, perhaps a bit harsh.
Lelouch took a step closer to Suzaku, closing the distance that remained between the two to no more than two feet. It'd been some time since he stood this close to his friend, nearly eight months. The tension was high, enough so that it could be felt in the air around the two men.
"I believe your words were, Don't pay me any mind, if I'm not mistaken."
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He asks this, and yet he knows that Lelouch being angry is much better than Lelouch being speechless, or sad. Suzaku is weak to those emotions, and he'll be feeling this later, but- it's one thing to protect his Emperor, but another to protect his 'friend'. Or, well, whatever Lelouch is to him. (Nothing. He's dead, that's what he is. But, even so ...)
Even so, I still --
The feeling catches him off guard and seizes him roughly. But, Suzaku manages to stop that (feeling) thought right before it expands and engulfs him too entirely, turns his head and averts his eyes so that Lelouch can't see it -- see the yearning on his face and take him apart in a reverse jigsaw puzzle, manipulate and put him back together the way that he wants Suzaku to ( ... )
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He stops, only to take a deep breath himself and run a hand through his hair.
"What do you expect me to do, Lelouch? No- what do you want me to do -- return to your side and act as your knight?" He asks, back straightening like a pin and tensing on instinct, as if someone plucked the string of a bow. "Because it seems as if my decision has already been made."
And, it has -- he will absolutely not return to Lelouch's side without an order (an order that he will abide by, because Nunnally is not here and Schneizel is no where to be seen), but Suzaku will always protect him. Always. If not because Lelouch is, indeed, his Emperor, then because his life is vital to his time. It ( ... )
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"I apologize. I was out of line," he says, and he almost touches the side of Lelouch's face, but his hand stops halfway up and drops back to his side. Instead, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. "But, if you don't expect anything of me then I don't know how I should move. As I said, my decision was made for me from the very beginning."
What is he supposed to do? He can't stand here and lie; he won't tell Lelouch that he doesn't want to be by his side. Somehow, that doesn't seem like the right way to go. No matter what, Suzaku will always, always run to be by his side if he were needed -- only if he's needed, never one to overstep his boundaries ( ... )
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The right side of his upper lip curled up slightly, the young emperor irritated at the what's being said, "You have no need to apologize because you were nowhere near out of line."
A brief pause, "Are you waiting for me to issue you a command? Am I to spell it out for you? What words are you looking for?"
The frown deepened when Suzaku took a step back and smiled weakly.
The witch cautions me against acting in a specific manner, so I listen to her advice and it backfires.His hand had been resting at the bridge of his nose as he stood lost in thought. He didn't need to hear that woman's voice in the back of his head at a time like this. He shook his head in an attempt to clear the barrage of ( ... )
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This, of course, being a false sense of security in lieu of bigger problems. Though he tries to calm down (tries very hard), it's suddenly so very real, too real. Lelouch's hand is too solid, his presence too close, his eyes too- too -- bright, he doesn't know. Even though Lelouch has reached out and initiated a touch, Suzaku is hit hard with a realization that he had been trying to deny all of his time in Somarium; that Lelouch is very alive, and very much there. It's hard to accept (was before, at least), harder than anything else he had to accept before (probably).
So much so that the tears start and flow and don't stop when he tries to will them to, even though he really doesn't want to cry. Not here, in front of Lelouch. But, Lelouch is real, and ( ... )
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Whether or not this is what Suzaku needed, he had no way of knowing, but he was certain of the fact that this is what he needed.
It hurt him to see the tears streaming down Suzaku's cheeks, not even able to make eye contact he was so ashamed, especially knowing that he was (most likely... no, certainly) the cause of all of this. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat and remained still and silent, not letting go of his friend quite yet.
A thin hand lightly rested on Suzaku's back, "I don't want to go about my business and fulfill the plans I've set forth in Somarium with my knight and my friend watching from a distance ( ... )
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And then there's a hand on his back, words (there's Suzaku again) that could be a lie -- he isn't so sure anymore, but he's damned whether he believes those gentle syllables or not -- before his hands move to push Lelouch away. Suzaku doesn't want this to be harder on either of them, doesn't want to be the one who makes it worse -- knows as much as it has to be, at least. He's not sure where hugging him will get the king on the board, probably closer than Suzaku thinks, but Suzaku doesn't think he wants this. (Doesn't think. In truth, he-)
Lelouch is stepping away before Suzaku's hands can move.
Instead, they do the opposite of what he wants them to when his hands do end up moving: reaching out. One moves to wrap around Lelouch's waist while the other is skittering to land on the back of Lelouch's neck, both tugging simultaneously so that he would have the chance to hold. "I'm sorry ( ... )
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