circular narratives are a bitch to write :0

[sobrellevar]

fill in the blanket (bed scenes)
three variations on a theme for circuity, with love. sorry for making you wait so long! i wanted to get it right, and even now i'm still not too sure i did. :s

(ths gen; chris/greta/darren if you squint; wentz/flowers; saporta/beckett; saporta/trohman)

a note: part I changes details from the events of greta’s 08.27.2006

Comments

[sobota]

you know.

i was listening to bloc party reading this, and i suddenly felt like i was swimming in whatever heat, pattern, even the carpet. i love non-linear linear stories like this, that make me feel. thanks for that.

[sobrellevar]

oh, thankyou ♥ that's really nice of you to say.

i feel kind of regretful i don't know how to properly write dialogue though. haha. i feel like every bone in my body is a serious one. no funny ones. XD

[iridescentglow]

Oh, I love this. It's so easy to use poetic language and end up saying nothing at all, but this is so rife with spot-on observation; images that unravel in one's mind; whole stories told in snippets. Lovely.

Greta/Chris/Darren is my new favourite thing. (Favourite even without all the dirty sex they're having in my mind right now, natch.) The whole segment of Chris carrying Greta (which gah) is beautifully sweet and understated.

A mouth on another mouth in a contest of cruelty -- an elaborate business of death threats and dead chivalry.

Such a great line. I love this idea of a collision between Pete, Brandon, and all their neuroses. Anyone who can write Pete believably gets kudos from me ('cause it's hard, yo), and this feels... bizarrely... real.

Long fingers pointing one moment to accuse you, crooked and c’mere, c’mere the next.

So perfectly William. And perfectly Gabe. I've long liked the idea of Gabe/Joe, but haven't been able to realize it in my mind. This is it.

[sobrellevar]

i was so afraid that people would be like, "but Chris looks too twiggy to be able to lift anything!" and i would end up being like "well. yes. ah hah hah. but they are MAGICAL like UNICORNS and maybe he CAN." even though i dislike unicorns a little. ;P

me and sonstoodstammer made up this weird backstory for part ii, like, pete was there at brandon's las vegas show in order to defend ryro's (and patd's) honor and exact some revenge or something. which apparently involved sex, as all fanfic is wont to do. but of course that made no sense. ha ha hah.

and oh gabe was a tough cookie to characterize! i haven't read a lot of gabefic but what i've read made me so confused about what he'd be like as a character. :S

[slipsandtangles]

my brain and eyes are sort of out of focus after reading this, proper review when i gain coherency or when my heart stops beating out of it's chest because this was so fucking amazing i can't even begin to go into it. plus i'm going to the gay circus (panic concert) in like, twenty minutes and i'm kind peeing my pants with excitement.

[sobrellevar]

aaaah take care of that heart! it's a good heart!

& I EXPECT FULL FLAILY PHOTO-LADEN "OMG I WENT TO THE 'NOTHING RHYMES WITH HOW GAY WE ARE' CIRCUS TOUR" NEWS, ALRITE?

[slipsandtangles]

okay. so i'm going to gush about this a whole lot right now.

He is all surprises and smiles, openness, good faith. He is the kind of person stray animals would trust, although Greta doesn’t know why she thinks of him like that. OH DARREN. these lines are just too too perfect.

(Greta thinks she does this a lot, see things and people maybe once and then love them entirely too much. It’s not really a bad habit, but a guilty pleasure probably, like Chris’ cigarettes, Darren’s threadbare boyband shirts.) i think we all tend to do fall in love with things so easily, but the fact that greta falls in love with a darren's storybook is so lovely.

At some point she falls asleep again to the sound of two boys’ incongruous voices, the way their sounds and silences fill the stops and gaps. They fit. oh! the way you imply so much with just the little "they fit." oh god. you just placed the perfect chris/darren otp image in my head.

Somewhere between movies and books and television, his mouth must have learned to know better. It’s not that his

[sobrellevar]

oh gosh. you overwhelm me. thank you. ♥ you make me more enthusiastic about living.

[ex_espadarte716]

that's it. i give up. i've used up all the good adjectives already; there aren't any words left to say how good this was.
god.
it was so good and i want to say good things about it, but i can't put anything into words, and ... that's actually kind of painful... but in a heartening way.

[sobrellevar]

oh goodness. thank you, i mean it ♥

the fact that you used 'heartening' in this comment makes me smile really widely and i don't know why. :D

[clumsygyrl]

oh that was wonderful. your style is always so lyrical. love. <3

[sobrellevar]

it's funny, i would have said the same thing about your writing style too. i admire your writing a lot. ♥

[clumsygyrl]

awww mutual admiration. thank you ;) ♥!!