fic: Games People Play
Title: Games People Play
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, OFC, Brittany, Sue, Quinn, OFC, Puck, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Figgins, OFC, OMC
Rating: R
Summary: Santana's trying not to let her jealousy show too much, but Michelle Jamieson is making it very difficult.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~5,600
Spoilers: Does Brittany's last name count?
A/N: Okay, so as you can see from the above character list, the amount of original characters in this fic is out of control. I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm blaming helionwolfchild for the suggestion of Jealous!Santana and wanting to see more of the soccer chick. It sparked an idea and here we are. That being said, these are the people I'm picturing for these characters: Michelle Jamieson, Marisa Lawson, Coach Tasha Jordon and Matthew Jamieson
2nd A/N: Follows Keeping Up Appearances. Also, I have absolutely no knowledge of Rachel's latest revealed skill and I simply wrote what I needed for the scene. Apologies to any experts in this field.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Cuffed | Physics and Golf | The Student Becomes the Master | Breaking Into School is Easy to Do | Keeping Up Appearances
Santana is fuming. She and Brittany are wandering the halls before class starts when Santana decides they should stop and say hi to Rachel. Except when they finally do find her at her locker, Michelle Jamieson is practically draped over Rachel.
The only thing that stops her from causing the soccer player permanent bodily harm is that she trusts Rachel. Oh and Brittany dragging her down the hall probably helps too.
This has been happening for over a week now. Apparently Michelle took Rachel's flirting when she was being Puck as an invitation. Despite Rachel's repeated refusals and brush offs, Michelle isn't giving up.
In fact this week, she seems to have upped the ante. There seems to be a lot more touching and a complete lack of personal space. It's taking every ounce of will power Santana has to not do something drastic.
It isn't that she doesn't trust Rachel, because she totally does. But that doesn't mean she likes to see her girl being hit on constantly. A person can only stand so much.
Santana blames herself. Saying, I love you, seems to have amped up her possessiveness. Even though everyone knows they're together from the random make out sessions in the halls, Santana still wants another more prominent indication. She wonders if she can convince Rachel to get a tattoo. Of course it wouldn't be anywhere remotely visible because it wouldn't bode well for Rachel's career later on, but just knowing that it's there might be enough.
Maybe Santana should bring it up this weekend. It's easier to convince Rachel of things when they're both naked.
…
It's no better at lunch. Michelle is once again talking to Rachel. Despite the fact that Rachel is sitting between Tina and Mercedes, Michelle is still too close for Santana's comfort. She continues to watch, trying to kill Michelle with her brain.
"You should just go over there," Quinn says. "It's not like it's a secret or something."
"No way," Santana replies. "I refuse to be that girl."
"But sitting here irate and shooting daggers at her is better?" Quinn questions. "Stop being a wuss and go claim your woman."
"I've already done that today," Santana says. "We spent most of the time before third making out."
"I know," Quinn tells her. "It put me off food for weeks. Which is probably a good thing, anyway. So thanks."
"I thought it was hot," Brittany adds.
"Thanks, B."
"You really need to tell that bitch to back off," Quinn says.
"I told Rach to just let me know when she gets to be too much and I'd take care of it," Santana explains. "For which I got a ten minute lecture about how Rachel can take care of herself."
"Only ten minutes?" Quinn asks.
"Watch it, Fabray," Santana growls. "Just because I can't do anything to you, doesn't mean I can't get Rachel to."
"Oooh, now that's scary."
"I'd be scared if I was you, Quinn," Brittany says. "Rachel could do stuff to you."
"Thanks for the warning, B."
…
Santana manages to catch Rachel after school before Cheerios' practice.
"Are you able to come over tonight?" Rachel asks.
"Hopefully. Depends on how long Coach decides to torture us today."
"I'm going to assume no then," Rachel says. "Based off recent circumstances."
"Yeah. It's been extra brutal lately," Santana agrees.
"And I had such plans for tonight."
"Don't do that to me," Santana says. "You know damn well I'd be going home with you this instant if I could."
"I apologize," Rachel says. "It's just…I miss you."
Santana sighs. "Me too, babe. Me too."
…
Feeling particularly frustrated, Rachel's in her backyard throwing knives. She's been into the impalement arts for almost five years now and she's gotten pretty good. She in fact is participating in a competition this weekend in Columbus.
It's another reason she's frustrated. Santana was supposed to come with her, but Coach Sylvester is dragging the Cheerios to an exhibition. Attendance is mandatory. So they'll barely see each other this weekend.
Another blade hits its target. Out of knives, Rachel walks to the wooden targets her fathers set up and removes them. She counts off an extra ten paces and begins throwing again.
…
When Michelle Jamieson approaches the Berry household, it doesn’t look like anyone's home. She rings the doorbell, but there's no answer. She does however, hear noises coming from the backyard. Straining, she can make out a thud every few seconds. Curious, she goes to investigate.
She finds Rachel Berry looking sexy as hell throwing knives across the yard into a wooden board. Michelle actually stops, blinks a couple times and then shakes her head just to make sure she isn't seeing things. She already found the girl hot, but this badassery is just too much.
She waits until Rachel has thrown all six before speaking, "Hey Rachel."
Startled, Rachel turns. "Oh, hello, Michelle. What are you doing here?"
"Was in the neighborhood, thought I'd drop by."
"Oh. Well, normally a phone call would be the appropriate choice."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just there isn't that much time to talk at school," Michelle replies.
"You seemed to do just fine at lunch," Rachel tells her.
"Nervous habit," Michelle says. "Despite what I thought before, you gleeks aren't so bad."
"Thanks for the validation." Rachel walks to the target and removes the knives. "So is there a specific reason you've shown up at my house unannounced and wandered into the backyard?"
"I really am sorry, Rach."
"Please don't call me that."
"Rachel, then," Michelle continues. "I was just kinda hoping we could hang out. Or something."
"Michelle, I'm sorry if I misled you before," Rachel tells her. "But I have no interest in dating you. I'm quite happy with Santana."
"I get that. I do," Michelle assures her. "Though honestly, I don't understand why. She used to pick on you mercilessly."
"People change," Rachel replies. "Besides, I don't believe in holding grudges. It isn't healthy."
"So maybe you and I could sit down and watch a movie or something?"
Rachel sighs. "Fine. We'll talk. But just for an hour or so."
Michelle follows Rachel into the house. In the kitchen, Rachel points to the cupboard.
"Glasses are up there. Help yourself to something to drink. I'm just going to put these away." She holds up the knives as Michelle nods and heads up to her room.
Michelle counts to ten and then follows.
…
Rachel is carefully putting each knife back in its individual slot in her holder when someone grabs her and spins her around. Before Rachel can register anything, Michelle's lips are pressed firmly against hers.
Reacting purely on instinct, Rachel grabs Michelle's wrists, yanks them away from her. She then keeps a hold of the right one and spins Michelle around until she's pinned the arm behind Michelle's back. The left arm is now flailing about trying to get out of it.
"You are so fucking hot right now," Michelle says. "I'm impressed."
"Thank you," Rachel replies. "It would be advisable that you stop struggling."
"You're enjoying it."
"You're a bit delusional," Rachel says. "What exactly were you thinking, practically assaulting me like that?"
"If you can give Lopez a chance, why not me? I never even did anything to you." Michelle asks. "I just figured if you knew what a good kisser I am, you'd change your mind."
"Unfortunately, it didn't."
"C'mon. Just think about it," Michelle tells her. "I'm hot. You're hot. No one would know. And it's not like your little girlfriend is all that innocent. Everyone knows she and the blonde bimbo still fool around."
Everything Michelle just said raises Rachel's ire, so she once again reacts without thinking. She drags Michelle to her bed, but throws her on the floor. Before she can react and stand, Rachel has pulled out her replacement handcuffs and snapped them around Michelle's wrists.
"Holy crap, woman," Michelle gasps. "You just got even hotter. I should have known you'd be into the kinky stuff. How else are you going to keep the chica interested?"
"Michelle," Rachel says. "It would be a very wise move for you to stop talking, right now."
"Will you kiss me if I do?"
"I will not."
"Well what will you give me?"
"I won't cause you serious bodily harm for sneak attack kissing me," Rachel replies.
"No offense, Rachel," Michelle tells her. "But I don't believe for a second you could cause me serious harm."
"You're allowed your opinion."
"Can I get up now?"
"Here's what's going to happen," Rachel says. "We're going to walk downstairs and you're going to leave. And you are going to stop hitting on me. I don't know how I could convey my aggravation any more clearly."
"Hey, you flirted with me."
"Which was an error in judgment and I apologize."
Rachel allows Michelle to stand, but keeps the cuffs on. They slowly walk downstairs to the front door where Rachel unlocks the cuffs.
"Good bye, Michelle."
"When you finally wise up to your girlfriend's cheating ways, come find me."
…
When Rachel tells Santana about the incident later, she curses for almost five minutes straight.
"Are you done?" Rachel asks.
"For now," Santana replies. "You okay?"
"Of course. As I told you, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
"And yet you let us slushie you for years."
"One chooses one's battles," Rachel replies. "Besides, I don't believe in resorting to violence to solve things."
"But handcuffs are okay?"
"Well, perhaps I didn't think that part through," Rachel allows.
"I'm starting to think your badassery is affecting your brain."
Rachel actually pauses and thinks. "Perhaps. I'm blaming you though."
"The hell you are," Santana replies. "You're the one that felt to need to shamelessly flirt with the sluttiest girls in school."
"I flirt with you, don't I?"
"You are so lucky I'm not there in front of you right now, Berry."
"Why? I'm not scared of you anymore, Lopez," Rachel replies. "Now that I know I can take you."
"Tough words for a midget."
"You're lucky you're not in front of me, now."
…
The next day, Santana gives Rachel a ride to school. It's something they've been doing lately. It's a way to be more coupley without turning into something that makes Santana want to gag. It helps that Brittany's there as well.
They're both rather annoyed this morning since they're weekend plans have been ruined by one Sue Sylvester. Attending the conference isn't optional for the juniors and seniors. Apparently, the younger ones aren't worth it yet.
Santana had been planning on accompanying Rachel to her competition this weekend. It's the first one Rachel's gone to since they've started dating. And Santana had been looking forward to seeing her girlfriend in action and not just in the backyard. Besides, determined, weapon wielding Rachel is hot as hell.
At school, Santana walks in with Rachel, though her pinky is still linked with Brittany's. Santana plans on sticking close to Rachel. She wants to make sure Michelle Jamieson keeps her lips to herself.
"I took care of it," Rachel says.
"That bitch doesn’t seem to understand what no means," Santana replies. "Besides, B pointed out that I've been lax in claiming what's mine."
"Santana Lopez, just because we're dating doesn't mean you own me," Rachel huffs.
"Yeah, but you're still my girlfriend."
"Yeah," Brittany adds.
"Thanks, Britt," Rachel says. "But I'm still not getting a tattoo, Santana."
"I never said you had to."
"But you were thinking it."
"I'd get one too," Santana mutters.
…
Following Coach Sylvester around the Columbus Convention Center, Santana is beyond annoyed. Being stuck on a bus with her fellow Cheerios when they're not going to a competition is boring. Or maybe it's because she's in the same city as Rachel. So close yet so far. Though Santana wonders if Rachel is competing here. There are only two places in the city where she could be. Santana didn't pay attention to the details; that's Rachel's deal.
So about twenty minutes into the acrobatic session that Coach is forcing them to watch, Santana excuses herself and Brittany to the bathroom. Unfortunately, Quinn insists on coming along.
"Where are you going, Lopez?" Quinn hisses. "Bathrooms are this way."
"Shut up, Fabray," Santana snaps. "No one asked you to come with."
"We're going to look for Rachel," Brittany exclaims.
"Why the hell is Berry here?"
"Just keep your opinions to yourself."
Quinn shrugs and follows Santana and Brittany as they maneuver through the crowds. They eventually stop at a huge table and Santana grabs a program. Glancing over it, she checks her watch.
Brittany is reading over Santana's shoulder and whoops. Santana shushes her and once again, they're off.
It feels like a maze to Quinn, so she sticks close to Santana. Quinn wonders if Coach will miss them soon. Long bathroom visits aren't in Sue Sylvester's vocabulary.
They finally stop in a small gymnasium. Santana and Brittany find three seats open and sit.
Quinn follows and looks around. They're apparently at a knife throwing competition.
"What the hell are we doing here?"
"Just shut up and watch."
Currently there is a guy about their age throwing things at a target. He must have been doing well because the crowd seems excited. Once finished, he bows and the cheering increases.
"That was Kevin Barnes," the announcer says. "Our final competitor is our champion for the past two years, Rachel Berry."
Now the crowd goes insane. Santana and Brittany jump up and add to the chaos. Quinn just stays in her seat. Did she hear that right? Rachel Berry?
And sure enough Rachel Berry walks out onto the floor, looking calm and confident. She bows once and steps up to the line. And then it's a flash of flying medal as she releases blade after blade. It happens so fast, Quinn isn't even sure how many knives Rachel throws.
Quinn didn't think it was possible, but the crowd is cheering even louder. She's beginning to worry about her hearing. Rachel bows once, waves and then skips off.
The crowd quiets and Quinn leans over to Santana. "Now what?"
"The judges are scoring everyone," she replies.
…
Meanwhile, Sue is looking around for her Cheerio captain and her lieutenants. They've been gone far too long. Her first instinct is that they got lost, but that's only plausible if Brittany was leading them. And Sue knows that would never happen.
The portion she was most interested in is over, so Sue goes to investigate the disappearance. The remaining Cheerios trail behind her. Ladyface is at her side, which he's been doing a lot lately. Sue wonders if it means she's losing her touch; he used to cower in her presence. At least he keeps quiet as they fight through the throngs of idiots.
…
"The judges have made their decision," the announcer says. "The runner up is… Kevin Barnes."
A subdued Kevin Barnes stands and walks to the judges table. He's handed a small trophy. He shakes each judge's hand and sits back down.
"And the winner," the announcer continues. "For the third straight year…"
The crowd begins to cheer and Santana almost misses the announcement of her girlfriend's name.
"Rachel Berry!"
A smiling Rachel bounces up the judge's table and accepts a large trophy. She shakes each judge's hand enthusiastically, curtseys to the crowd and returns to her seat.
"That's all ladies and gentlemen," the announcer says. "Thank you for attending the Ohio Junior Knife Throwing Competition and we'll see you next year."
Brittany jumps up and runs over to Rachel, engulfing her in a bear hug that almost knocks them both over. Santana and Quinn follow at a more sedated pace, though Santana can't keep a huge grin off her face.
"What are you guys doing here?" Rachel asks after greeting Santana with a kiss while ignoring the gagging noise Quinn makes.
"Coach has us watching some crazy acrobatic troupe," Santana says.
"Oh sure, the Amazing Milanos."
"You know them?"
"Oh, yes, they win almost every year. They're considered some of the best in the country."
"Maybe we should get back and watch the performance," Quinn says.
"Too late, Q," Sue says appearing behind them. "You already missed the finale."
"Coach," Quinn says. "I can explain."
"No need, Fabray," Sue replies. "I have eyes. I assume this was your doing, Lopez."
"It was, Coach."
Sue picks up Rachel's trophy and examines it. "Impressive, Rapunzel," she says. "This is a useful skill to have."
"Thank you, Coach Sylvester."
"Nice job, Lopez," Sue says. "She might actually be worth keeping around."
"So is it okay if I spend the rest of the day with my first place girlfriend?"
"I suppose I can allow it," Sue tells her. "But it's only because she won. A winner should only associate with other winners. However, you have to do one thing for me, Cher."
"What's that?" Rachel asks.
"I missed your performance. I'd like to see an encore."
Rachel looks around the gymnasium. It's empty except for them, though the targets are still up.
"That's fine with me."
"Good," Sue says. "I need a volunteer for Celine to throw knives at."
Brittany's hand shoots up.
"Sorry, Brittany, but no," Rachel says. "Remember? You're never able to stand still. Last time I almost took off a finger, because you moved."
"Oh. Yeah."
"Santana should," Quinn says. "She's Berry's girlfriend, after all."
"Thank you for volunteering, Q," Sue says. "You're an excellent example of a captain."
"But Coach, I never--"
"Where do you want her?" Sue asks Rachel.
"Just in front of the target is fine."
"Q."
Quinn looks at Coach Sylvester and sees she's serious. Quinn sighs and walks to the target. Turning, she stands until her back is pressed against it.
"Quinn," Rachel says. "I recommend keeping your eyes closed. It'll minimize your nervousness."
"Fine. Just get it over, Berry."
"Stay just like that Quinn," Rachel tells her. "I'll tell you when to move."
Rachel steps up to the line and takes a deep breath. She raises the first blade and lets go. One by one she lets the five knives fly. The first hits just above Quinn's right hand and then left. The next one is next to her left knee and then the right. The final one hits the wood just above Quinn's head.
"All clear," Rachel calls out.
Quinn lets out a sigh of relief. She'd heard and felt the blades hitting the target, but she'd kept her eyes closed because she didn't think she could stand seeing the knife flying towards her.
"You should meet my mother the next time she visits, Berry," Sue says. "She used to be quite the knife thrower in her youth."
"I'd be honored, Coach."
"Lopez, you're dismissed. The rest of you, we have another competition to watch."
Kurt waves hesitantly as he leaves.
Brittany gives Rachel one last bear hug and then kisses Santana on the cheek before skipping off after Coach Sylvester.
"Lopez. Berry," Quinn says, before following.
…
Monday morning Rachel is greeted by two Cheerios. Years of slushies make her cringe in anticipation, but both simply want to talk to her. Nothing they're saying is all that important to Rachel, but she's never opposed to attention, so she nods as they chatter on.
Santana's waiting at Rachel's locker. "Scram, bimbos."
The Cheerios scurry off, glancing over their shoulders at Rachel.
"What the hell was that about?"
"I couldn’t say," Rachel replies. "But I never turn down people fawning over me. You know that."
"Sometimes your ego scares me."
…
Rachel's actually starting to become paranoid. She can constantly feel everyone's eyes on her. As a rule, she's not opposed to this, but having the attention of McKinley has never worked well for Rachel Berry. It usually means some sort of humiliation.
She's slightly reassured that there's nothing nasty in store for her because of her girlfriend's reputation. However, she also knows the students of McKinley seem to take a perverse delight in embarrassing each other.
Guard up, she cautiously continues her day.
…
Right before lunch, Puck grabs Rachel. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That you know how to throw knives," Puck says. "You gotta teach me."
"Who told you I know how to throw knives?"
"The whole school's talking about it. If the slushies hadn't already stopped, they definitely would after today. Now people really don't want to piss you off."
"Damn Cheerios," Rachel mutters.
"I'm still pissed at you for not telling me."
"You never asked," Rachel tells him.
"Who asks that?"
"Brittany did," Rachel replies.
"She doesn't count."
"I'll be sure to tell Santana you said that."
"You know what I mean, Berry," Puck replies.
"Noah, while I'm more than qualified to assist people with their singing, I am most definitely not qualified to teach someone how to throw knives. If you'd like, I can put you in touch with my former instructor, Mr. Raymond. Though to be honest, I think you should try and master those nun chucks first, don't you think?"
Puck stares at her for a moment.
"What?"
"I was just wondering if your badass side and your mature, responsible side ever get into arguments in your head. And if so, who usually wins?"
"Very funny, Noah," Rachel replies. "I'm going to sit and eat lunch now."
…
Marisa Lawson has been trying to approach Rachel Berry for over a week now. But every time she tries, Michelle Jamieson is there, hanging off her.
In fact, Marisa has noticed a lot more people flocking around Rachel lately.
She doesn't know what to think about that.
Marisa is currently watching Rachel talk to Puck, a football player, when she's approached by a blonde cheerleader.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Are you waiting for Rachel?"
"Yeah. Kinda," Marisa replies.
"Is it cause she throws knives?"
"Not just cause."
"You're not gonna ask her out, are you? Cause she's dating Santana."
"I know. I just…" Marisa sighs. "She's just really awesome."
"She is."
"And when she was flirting with me before, I just thought maybe I had a chance," Marisa explains.
"Yeah, Rach was acting kinda weird that week."
"I figured that out," Marisa says. "But I've still been wanting to talk to her. Just because."
"I understand. I like talking to Rachel too. But if you start hitting on her like that crazy soccer chick, I'll be forced to throw you in the sewers."
Marisa isn't expecting that. "Uh, okay," she replies, feeling stunned.
"Okay. See you later."
The blonde bounces away, leaving Marisa to stare after her.
…
As expected, the topic of conversation at lunch is Rachel's weekend activities.
"Even though I saw it with my own eyes, I still don't believe it," Kurt says.
"Neither can I."
"Mercedes," Rachel says. "You weren't even there."
"No, but Kurt showed me a video on his phone."
"Kurt!"
"I figured you wouldn't mind," Kurt replies. "Please don't hurt me."
Rachel sighs. "It's fine. I just wish you would have told me you did that."
"Kurt says this is the third year in a row you've won," Tina says. "That is so cool."
"Thanks."
"How come you never said anything?" Artie asks.
"It's no big deal."
"It is," Kurt insists. "We all thought you only lived and breathed singing."
"And where'd you find time to learn in between school, glee and all your lessons?" Mercedes asks.
"There are twenty-four usable hours in every day," Rachel replies.
"Yeah, I guess," Tina says. "But the rest of us were using those hours to be teenagers."
"Yes, well, we all make choices."
…
Rachel is leaving the lunch room when she's approached by Marisa Lawson, one of the girls she flirted with as her stint as Noah.
"Hi Rachel," she says giddily.
"Hello Marisa," Rachel replies. "What can I do for you?"
"Everyone's been talking about you today," Marisa informs Rachel.
"I've noticed," Rachel replies, wryly. "Why is that exactly?"
"All the Cheerios are talking about how badass you are cause you know how to throw knives."
Rachel sighs. "People are so easily impressed."
"So it's true?"
"It is," Rachel confirms. "Though I didn't want anyone to know."
"Why not? It just makes you ten thousand times awesomer."
Rachel cringes at Marisa's grammar. "Perhaps, but that doesn't matter to me."
"Really?" Marisa asks. "Cause a few weeks ago, when you were dressing different--"
"I apologize if I led you on, Marisa," Rachel says. "That was never my intention. I was simply...trying something. And I've heard you're showing excellent promise as a freshman."
"Wow, thanks. That means a lot coming from you," Marisa says. "Wait. Does that mean you lied about that Rachosaurus Sex stuff?"
Rachel nods. "While I am most definitely dating Santana, we have never engaged in a foursome with Quinn Fabray and Brittany Pierce."
"Too bad," Marisa replies. "That might be the hottest thing I've ever heard."
"Thank you?"
"Listen, I know you're dating Santana or whatever," Marisa says. "But if you ever break up. I'm interested."
"You are?"
"I have been ever since I heard you sing last year at Sectionals."
"Ah, yes, well…"
"I'm not asking for anything. I just had to let you know. You know?"
"I do," Rachel nods. "Thanks, I suppose. Good luck in the show next weekend."
"Thanks. It's not the lead or anything, but it's still a pretty big part for a freshman. I'll see you around?"
"You will."
…
After school, Rachel is gathering her things and waiting for Santana when Michelle Jamieson approaches her.
"Hey, Rachel."
"Michelle," Rachel says. "If I was you, I wouldn't be here right now."
"The school's all a buzz about you today."
"Yes, well, it must be a slow gossip day."
"I just wanted to let you know that my offer is still on the table," Michelle says.
"There's no need," Rachel replies. "I won't be taking you up on it."
"I'm not looking for a girlfriend, Rachel," Michelle continues. "But I'm willing to bet that Lopez is the only carpet you've munched--"
"Must you be so vulgar?"
"--and I think it be good for you to experience your other options."
"She doesn't want to experience your options," Santana growls coming up behind Rachel.
"Lopez."
"This is the only warning you're getting from me, Jamieson. Stay the hell away from my girlfriend."
"Hey. She approached me first."
"I don't care. Back off. Or else."
"You can't touch me," Michelle counters. "Sylvester will have your ass for fighting. Especially with me. The girls soccer team is the only other winning team in this dump."
"For you," Santana growls. "I'll make an exception."
"Michelle," Rachel interrupts. "What do I have to do to convince you I'm not interested?"
"You've already given her enough evidence, babe," Santana says.
"Obviously not, if she's still here," Rachel replies.
"I'm just waiting for you to wise up to this one's nefarious ways," Michelle says. "Later, Rachel."
…
Wednesday morning, Rachel knocks on Coach Sylvester's door. Brittany told her that the Coach wanted to see her.
"Have a seat, Berry," Sue says.
Rachel does so.
"I hear you've been having issues with an unwanted admirer. Brittany told me," Sue continues upon seeing Rachel's confused look.
"That would be correct," Rachel replies. "Though the argument could be made that it's my fault. I did make the first move."
"Because you and Puckerman were attempting to convince people you'd switched personalities," Sue says.
"Uh, yes," Rachel says. "How did you know?"
"I figured it out while talking to the both of you during," Sue explains. "You're lucky it ended when it did, because I was prepared to take steps because of the affect it was having on my Cheerios."
"Yes, well--"
"Berry, let me be honest with you," Sue says. "When Lopez started dating you, I had her checked for a concussion. It was the only explanation for the severe lapse of judgment. However, after observing you closely, I realized that I may have underestimated you. I already knew you were a bit of a spitfire, but these past few months you've showed quite the backbone. The knife throwing is just the sprinkles on the icing of the cake, in my mind."
"Thank you?"
"Which is why I'm willing to interfere with your pitiful lives just a bit."
"I don't exactly see how--"
"I'll be having a word with Coach Jordon about her captain's behavior. I believe that will nip the problem in the bud."
"Thank you, Coach Sylvester," Rachel says. "I appreciate it, even if it isn't exactly for me."
Sue smirks. "I almost like you, Berry. You're a lot of things, but at least you're not a moron. Dismissed."
…
Principal Figgins is beginning to regret his open door policy towards his staff. Though he supposes he should be grateful that Sue's not arguing with Will Schuester for once. He can only hear so many hair insults before wanting to tear his own out.
"Sue," Figgins says. "You know damn well, the faculty isn't allowed to dictate who students date."
"Her captain is harassing one of my star Cheerios and it's affecting her performance. I demand that Tasha control her players."
"Michelle is allowed to talk to whomever she likes," Tasha replies. "And unlike your so called Cheerios, my players don't harass other students relentlessly."
"Michelle is."
"Turnabout is fair play."
"Jamieson is harassing Lopez's girlfriend for no reason, and I want it to stop."
"Let me get this straight," Figgins says, finally. "You've come here expecting me to mediate your students' lesbian dramas?"
"Essentially."
"Sue, please leave my office."
"Harassment is a serious issue," Sue insists.
"I agree. And I'd be more sympathetic if your Cheerios were saints, but they're far from it, Sue," Figgins says. "Have them make a formal complaint and I'll see what I can do. Otherwise, get out."
"This isn't over," Sue tells Figgins. "With you either, Tasha."
"Nice talking to you Sue," Tasha calls after her.
…
"So you went crying to your mommy, Lopez," Michelle says, finding Santana at her locker after school.
"What the hell are you talking about, Jamieson?"
"Coach Jordon asked me to stop bothering you and your little girlfriend, today," Michelle explains. "Seems Coach Sylvester is on a rampage in your behalf."
"Well, I didn't ask her to," Santana replies.
"Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"I do," Rachel says, walking up to the pair. "Since I'm the one that went to Coach Sylvester."
"You didn't," Santana says.
"I did."
"Oh Rachel," Michelle says. "I'm starting to think you don't like me."
"I've been thinking it over, Michelle," Rachel says. "And for the life of me, I can't figure out why you're so into me. I mean I know why you would be, I'm talented, intelligent, flexible, badass, and hot. But I've been those things for a while. Your interest in me seems to stem off of Santana's interest. Which begs the question, why."
Santana can only stare as Rachel and Michelle face off. She can tell that Rachel's theory isn't that far off and so desperate to know why, she keeps quiet.
Michelle breaks first. "Fine," she sighs. "Your guys' freshman year, my twin brother asked Lopez out. Not only did she say no, but she humiliated him in the middle of the lunch room. He's been a loner ever since. I've been waiting years for revenge. When Lopez became serious about you, I saw my chance."
"I see," Rachel says. "And where is your brother now?"
"Getting ready to leave, I'm sure."
"Will you please summon him here?" Rachel asks.
"Why?"
"Because Santana is going to apologize to him."
"I'm what?!" Santana exclaims.
"I know her brother, Santana," Rachel says. "He's a lovely young man, but he's also considered a bigger loser than myself. And if that was your doing, you owe him an apology." Rachel turns to Michelle who has just finished texting. "I know it's a weak gesture, but I hope it'll be enough."
"That's his call, not mine."
"Fair enough."
…
Moments later, Matthew Jamieson is standing in front of them. Santana vaguely recognizes him, though she's not sure if it's a memory or if she's just seen him around.
"Hello, Matthew," Rachel says.
"Hi Rachel."
"Michelle was just informing us of your history with Santana."
"Michelle," he hisses.
"I was trying to avenge you, dumbass."
"Santana is no longer the über bitch she was freshman year," Rachel says. "And so, if it's all right with you, she wants to apologize for her previous, thoughtless actions."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Santana shrugs. "I'm sorry. I was just a stupid freshman trying to be popular. I shouldn't have turned you down so viciously. But in my defense, you probably shouldn't have asked me out in front of everyone."
"Perhaps," Matthew says. "I am glad you said no, though. You're way too bitchy for me."
"That's probably true," Santana allows.
"So you'll be leaving me alone, now?" Rachel asks Michelle.
"Yeah, I guess," Michelle replies. "Though, I wasn't kidding about finding you hot, Rachel. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."
With that Michelle drags Matthew away.
"You bet I do," Rachel mutters.
"Jesus, that's it," Santana says. "You are so getting that tattoo."
"It's your fault that we were even in this situation," Rachel tells her.
"Oh please, like it's my fault Jamieson wanted to avenge her brother."
"Well, if you were a bit nicer--"
"Then you wouldn't be with me," Santana interrupts. "And you know it."
"That's not true," Rachel says. "But I'm still not getting a tattoo."
Author: slacker_d
Pairing/Characters: Rachel/Santana, OFC, Brittany, Sue, Quinn, OFC, Puck, Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Figgins, OFC, OMC
Rating: R
Summary: Santana's trying not to let her jealousy show too much, but Michelle Jamieson is making it very difficult.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~5,600
Spoilers: Does Brittany's last name count?
A/N: Okay, so as you can see from the above character list, the amount of original characters in this fic is out of control. I'm not sure how it happened, but I'm blaming helionwolfchild for the suggestion of Jealous!Santana and wanting to see more of the soccer chick. It sparked an idea and here we are. That being said, these are the people I'm picturing for these characters: Michelle Jamieson, Marisa Lawson, Coach Tasha Jordon and Matthew Jamieson
2nd A/N: Follows Keeping Up Appearances. Also, I have absolutely no knowledge of Rachel's latest revealed skill and I simply wrote what I needed for the scene. Apologies to any experts in this field.
3rd A/N: Unbeta’ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Cuffed | Physics and Golf | The Student Becomes the Master | Breaking Into School is Easy to Do | Keeping Up Appearances
Santana is fuming. She and Brittany are wandering the halls before class starts when Santana decides they should stop and say hi to Rachel. Except when they finally do find her at her locker, Michelle Jamieson is practically draped over Rachel.
The only thing that stops her from causing the soccer player permanent bodily harm is that she trusts Rachel. Oh and Brittany dragging her down the hall probably helps too.
This has been happening for over a week now. Apparently Michelle took Rachel's flirting when she was being Puck as an invitation. Despite Rachel's repeated refusals and brush offs, Michelle isn't giving up.
In fact this week, she seems to have upped the ante. There seems to be a lot more touching and a complete lack of personal space. It's taking every ounce of will power Santana has to not do something drastic.
It isn't that she doesn't trust Rachel, because she totally does. But that doesn't mean she likes to see her girl being hit on constantly. A person can only stand so much.
Santana blames herself. Saying, I love you, seems to have amped up her possessiveness. Even though everyone knows they're together from the random make out sessions in the halls, Santana still wants another more prominent indication. She wonders if she can convince Rachel to get a tattoo. Of course it wouldn't be anywhere remotely visible because it wouldn't bode well for Rachel's career later on, but just knowing that it's there might be enough.
Maybe Santana should bring it up this weekend. It's easier to convince Rachel of things when they're both naked.
…
It's no better at lunch. Michelle is once again talking to Rachel. Despite the fact that Rachel is sitting between Tina and Mercedes, Michelle is still too close for Santana's comfort. She continues to watch, trying to kill Michelle with her brain.
"You should just go over there," Quinn says. "It's not like it's a secret or something."
"No way," Santana replies. "I refuse to be that girl."
"But sitting here irate and shooting daggers at her is better?" Quinn questions. "Stop being a wuss and go claim your woman."
"I've already done that today," Santana says. "We spent most of the time before third making out."
"I know," Quinn tells her. "It put me off food for weeks. Which is probably a good thing, anyway. So thanks."
"I thought it was hot," Brittany adds.
"Thanks, B."
"You really need to tell that bitch to back off," Quinn says.
"I told Rach to just let me know when she gets to be too much and I'd take care of it," Santana explains. "For which I got a ten minute lecture about how Rachel can take care of herself."
"Only ten minutes?" Quinn asks.
"Watch it, Fabray," Santana growls. "Just because I can't do anything to you, doesn't mean I can't get Rachel to."
"Oooh, now that's scary."
"I'd be scared if I was you, Quinn," Brittany says. "Rachel could do stuff to you."
"Thanks for the warning, B."
…
Santana manages to catch Rachel after school before Cheerios' practice.
"Are you able to come over tonight?" Rachel asks.
"Hopefully. Depends on how long Coach decides to torture us today."
"I'm going to assume no then," Rachel says. "Based off recent circumstances."
"Yeah. It's been extra brutal lately," Santana agrees.
"And I had such plans for tonight."
"Don't do that to me," Santana says. "You know damn well I'd be going home with you this instant if I could."
"I apologize," Rachel says. "It's just…I miss you."
Santana sighs. "Me too, babe. Me too."
…
Feeling particularly frustrated, Rachel's in her backyard throwing knives. She's been into the impalement arts for almost five years now and she's gotten pretty good. She in fact is participating in a competition this weekend in Columbus.
It's another reason she's frustrated. Santana was supposed to come with her, but Coach Sylvester is dragging the Cheerios to an exhibition. Attendance is mandatory. So they'll barely see each other this weekend.
Another blade hits its target. Out of knives, Rachel walks to the wooden targets her fathers set up and removes them. She counts off an extra ten paces and begins throwing again.
…
When Michelle Jamieson approaches the Berry household, it doesn’t look like anyone's home. She rings the doorbell, but there's no answer. She does however, hear noises coming from the backyard. Straining, she can make out a thud every few seconds. Curious, she goes to investigate.
She finds Rachel Berry looking sexy as hell throwing knives across the yard into a wooden board. Michelle actually stops, blinks a couple times and then shakes her head just to make sure she isn't seeing things. She already found the girl hot, but this badassery is just too much.
She waits until Rachel has thrown all six before speaking, "Hey Rachel."
Startled, Rachel turns. "Oh, hello, Michelle. What are you doing here?"
"Was in the neighborhood, thought I'd drop by."
"Oh. Well, normally a phone call would be the appropriate choice."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just there isn't that much time to talk at school," Michelle replies.
"You seemed to do just fine at lunch," Rachel tells her.
"Nervous habit," Michelle says. "Despite what I thought before, you gleeks aren't so bad."
"Thanks for the validation." Rachel walks to the target and removes the knives. "So is there a specific reason you've shown up at my house unannounced and wandered into the backyard?"
"I really am sorry, Rach."
"Please don't call me that."
"Rachel, then," Michelle continues. "I was just kinda hoping we could hang out. Or something."
"Michelle, I'm sorry if I misled you before," Rachel tells her. "But I have no interest in dating you. I'm quite happy with Santana."
"I get that. I do," Michelle assures her. "Though honestly, I don't understand why. She used to pick on you mercilessly."
"People change," Rachel replies. "Besides, I don't believe in holding grudges. It isn't healthy."
"So maybe you and I could sit down and watch a movie or something?"
Rachel sighs. "Fine. We'll talk. But just for an hour or so."
Michelle follows Rachel into the house. In the kitchen, Rachel points to the cupboard.
"Glasses are up there. Help yourself to something to drink. I'm just going to put these away." She holds up the knives as Michelle nods and heads up to her room.
Michelle counts to ten and then follows.
…
Rachel is carefully putting each knife back in its individual slot in her holder when someone grabs her and spins her around. Before Rachel can register anything, Michelle's lips are pressed firmly against hers.
Reacting purely on instinct, Rachel grabs Michelle's wrists, yanks them away from her. She then keeps a hold of the right one and spins Michelle around until she's pinned the arm behind Michelle's back. The left arm is now flailing about trying to get out of it.
"You are so fucking hot right now," Michelle says. "I'm impressed."
"Thank you," Rachel replies. "It would be advisable that you stop struggling."
"You're enjoying it."
"You're a bit delusional," Rachel says. "What exactly were you thinking, practically assaulting me like that?"
"If you can give Lopez a chance, why not me? I never even did anything to you." Michelle asks. "I just figured if you knew what a good kisser I am, you'd change your mind."
"Unfortunately, it didn't."
"C'mon. Just think about it," Michelle tells her. "I'm hot. You're hot. No one would know. And it's not like your little girlfriend is all that innocent. Everyone knows she and the blonde bimbo still fool around."
Everything Michelle just said raises Rachel's ire, so she once again reacts without thinking. She drags Michelle to her bed, but throws her on the floor. Before she can react and stand, Rachel has pulled out her replacement handcuffs and snapped them around Michelle's wrists.
"Holy crap, woman," Michelle gasps. "You just got even hotter. I should have known you'd be into the kinky stuff. How else are you going to keep the chica interested?"
"Michelle," Rachel says. "It would be a very wise move for you to stop talking, right now."
"Will you kiss me if I do?"
"I will not."
"Well what will you give me?"
"I won't cause you serious bodily harm for sneak attack kissing me," Rachel replies.
"No offense, Rachel," Michelle tells her. "But I don't believe for a second you could cause me serious harm."
"You're allowed your opinion."
"Can I get up now?"
"Here's what's going to happen," Rachel says. "We're going to walk downstairs and you're going to leave. And you are going to stop hitting on me. I don't know how I could convey my aggravation any more clearly."
"Hey, you flirted with me."
"Which was an error in judgment and I apologize."
Rachel allows Michelle to stand, but keeps the cuffs on. They slowly walk downstairs to the front door where Rachel unlocks the cuffs.
"Good bye, Michelle."
"When you finally wise up to your girlfriend's cheating ways, come find me."
…
When Rachel tells Santana about the incident later, she curses for almost five minutes straight.
"Are you done?" Rachel asks.
"For now," Santana replies. "You okay?"
"Of course. As I told you, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."
"And yet you let us slushie you for years."
"One chooses one's battles," Rachel replies. "Besides, I don't believe in resorting to violence to solve things."
"But handcuffs are okay?"
"Well, perhaps I didn't think that part through," Rachel allows.
"I'm starting to think your badassery is affecting your brain."
Rachel actually pauses and thinks. "Perhaps. I'm blaming you though."
"The hell you are," Santana replies. "You're the one that felt to need to shamelessly flirt with the sluttiest girls in school."
"I flirt with you, don't I?"
"You are so lucky I'm not there in front of you right now, Berry."
"Why? I'm not scared of you anymore, Lopez," Rachel replies. "Now that I know I can take you."
"Tough words for a midget."
"You're lucky you're not in front of me, now."
…
The next day, Santana gives Rachel a ride to school. It's something they've been doing lately. It's a way to be more coupley without turning into something that makes Santana want to gag. It helps that Brittany's there as well.
They're both rather annoyed this morning since they're weekend plans have been ruined by one Sue Sylvester. Attending the conference isn't optional for the juniors and seniors. Apparently, the younger ones aren't worth it yet.
Santana had been planning on accompanying Rachel to her competition this weekend. It's the first one Rachel's gone to since they've started dating. And Santana had been looking forward to seeing her girlfriend in action and not just in the backyard. Besides, determined, weapon wielding Rachel is hot as hell.
At school, Santana walks in with Rachel, though her pinky is still linked with Brittany's. Santana plans on sticking close to Rachel. She wants to make sure Michelle Jamieson keeps her lips to herself.
"I took care of it," Rachel says.
"That bitch doesn’t seem to understand what no means," Santana replies. "Besides, B pointed out that I've been lax in claiming what's mine."
"Santana Lopez, just because we're dating doesn't mean you own me," Rachel huffs.
"Yeah, but you're still my girlfriend."
"Yeah," Brittany adds.
"Thanks, Britt," Rachel says. "But I'm still not getting a tattoo, Santana."
"I never said you had to."
"But you were thinking it."
"I'd get one too," Santana mutters.
…
Following Coach Sylvester around the Columbus Convention Center, Santana is beyond annoyed. Being stuck on a bus with her fellow Cheerios when they're not going to a competition is boring. Or maybe it's because she's in the same city as Rachel. So close yet so far. Though Santana wonders if Rachel is competing here. There are only two places in the city where she could be. Santana didn't pay attention to the details; that's Rachel's deal.
So about twenty minutes into the acrobatic session that Coach is forcing them to watch, Santana excuses herself and Brittany to the bathroom. Unfortunately, Quinn insists on coming along.
"Where are you going, Lopez?" Quinn hisses. "Bathrooms are this way."
"Shut up, Fabray," Santana snaps. "No one asked you to come with."
"We're going to look for Rachel," Brittany exclaims.
"Why the hell is Berry here?"
"Just keep your opinions to yourself."
Quinn shrugs and follows Santana and Brittany as they maneuver through the crowds. They eventually stop at a huge table and Santana grabs a program. Glancing over it, she checks her watch.
Brittany is reading over Santana's shoulder and whoops. Santana shushes her and once again, they're off.
It feels like a maze to Quinn, so she sticks close to Santana. Quinn wonders if Coach will miss them soon. Long bathroom visits aren't in Sue Sylvester's vocabulary.
They finally stop in a small gymnasium. Santana and Brittany find three seats open and sit.
Quinn follows and looks around. They're apparently at a knife throwing competition.
"What the hell are we doing here?"
"Just shut up and watch."
Currently there is a guy about their age throwing things at a target. He must have been doing well because the crowd seems excited. Once finished, he bows and the cheering increases.
"That was Kevin Barnes," the announcer says. "Our final competitor is our champion for the past two years, Rachel Berry."
Now the crowd goes insane. Santana and Brittany jump up and add to the chaos. Quinn just stays in her seat. Did she hear that right? Rachel Berry?
And sure enough Rachel Berry walks out onto the floor, looking calm and confident. She bows once and steps up to the line. And then it's a flash of flying medal as she releases blade after blade. It happens so fast, Quinn isn't even sure how many knives Rachel throws.
Quinn didn't think it was possible, but the crowd is cheering even louder. She's beginning to worry about her hearing. Rachel bows once, waves and then skips off.
The crowd quiets and Quinn leans over to Santana. "Now what?"
"The judges are scoring everyone," she replies.
…
Meanwhile, Sue is looking around for her Cheerio captain and her lieutenants. They've been gone far too long. Her first instinct is that they got lost, but that's only plausible if Brittany was leading them. And Sue knows that would never happen.
The portion she was most interested in is over, so Sue goes to investigate the disappearance. The remaining Cheerios trail behind her. Ladyface is at her side, which he's been doing a lot lately. Sue wonders if it means she's losing her touch; he used to cower in her presence. At least he keeps quiet as they fight through the throngs of idiots.
…
"The judges have made their decision," the announcer says. "The runner up is… Kevin Barnes."
A subdued Kevin Barnes stands and walks to the judges table. He's handed a small trophy. He shakes each judge's hand and sits back down.
"And the winner," the announcer continues. "For the third straight year…"
The crowd begins to cheer and Santana almost misses the announcement of her girlfriend's name.
"Rachel Berry!"
A smiling Rachel bounces up the judge's table and accepts a large trophy. She shakes each judge's hand enthusiastically, curtseys to the crowd and returns to her seat.
"That's all ladies and gentlemen," the announcer says. "Thank you for attending the Ohio Junior Knife Throwing Competition and we'll see you next year."
Brittany jumps up and runs over to Rachel, engulfing her in a bear hug that almost knocks them both over. Santana and Quinn follow at a more sedated pace, though Santana can't keep a huge grin off her face.
"What are you guys doing here?" Rachel asks after greeting Santana with a kiss while ignoring the gagging noise Quinn makes.
"Coach has us watching some crazy acrobatic troupe," Santana says.
"Oh sure, the Amazing Milanos."
"You know them?"
"Oh, yes, they win almost every year. They're considered some of the best in the country."
"Maybe we should get back and watch the performance," Quinn says.
"Too late, Q," Sue says appearing behind them. "You already missed the finale."
"Coach," Quinn says. "I can explain."
"No need, Fabray," Sue replies. "I have eyes. I assume this was your doing, Lopez."
"It was, Coach."
Sue picks up Rachel's trophy and examines it. "Impressive, Rapunzel," she says. "This is a useful skill to have."
"Thank you, Coach Sylvester."
"Nice job, Lopez," Sue says. "She might actually be worth keeping around."
"So is it okay if I spend the rest of the day with my first place girlfriend?"
"I suppose I can allow it," Sue tells her. "But it's only because she won. A winner should only associate with other winners. However, you have to do one thing for me, Cher."
"What's that?" Rachel asks.
"I missed your performance. I'd like to see an encore."
Rachel looks around the gymnasium. It's empty except for them, though the targets are still up.
"That's fine with me."
"Good," Sue says. "I need a volunteer for Celine to throw knives at."
Brittany's hand shoots up.
"Sorry, Brittany, but no," Rachel says. "Remember? You're never able to stand still. Last time I almost took off a finger, because you moved."
"Oh. Yeah."
"Santana should," Quinn says. "She's Berry's girlfriend, after all."
"Thank you for volunteering, Q," Sue says. "You're an excellent example of a captain."
"But Coach, I never--"
"Where do you want her?" Sue asks Rachel.
"Just in front of the target is fine."
"Q."
Quinn looks at Coach Sylvester and sees she's serious. Quinn sighs and walks to the target. Turning, she stands until her back is pressed against it.
"Quinn," Rachel says. "I recommend keeping your eyes closed. It'll minimize your nervousness."
"Fine. Just get it over, Berry."
"Stay just like that Quinn," Rachel tells her. "I'll tell you when to move."
Rachel steps up to the line and takes a deep breath. She raises the first blade and lets go. One by one she lets the five knives fly. The first hits just above Quinn's right hand and then left. The next one is next to her left knee and then the right. The final one hits the wood just above Quinn's head.
"All clear," Rachel calls out.
Quinn lets out a sigh of relief. She'd heard and felt the blades hitting the target, but she'd kept her eyes closed because she didn't think she could stand seeing the knife flying towards her.
"You should meet my mother the next time she visits, Berry," Sue says. "She used to be quite the knife thrower in her youth."
"I'd be honored, Coach."
"Lopez, you're dismissed. The rest of you, we have another competition to watch."
Kurt waves hesitantly as he leaves.
Brittany gives Rachel one last bear hug and then kisses Santana on the cheek before skipping off after Coach Sylvester.
"Lopez. Berry," Quinn says, before following.
…
Monday morning Rachel is greeted by two Cheerios. Years of slushies make her cringe in anticipation, but both simply want to talk to her. Nothing they're saying is all that important to Rachel, but she's never opposed to attention, so she nods as they chatter on.
Santana's waiting at Rachel's locker. "Scram, bimbos."
The Cheerios scurry off, glancing over their shoulders at Rachel.
"What the hell was that about?"
"I couldn’t say," Rachel replies. "But I never turn down people fawning over me. You know that."
"Sometimes your ego scares me."
…
Rachel's actually starting to become paranoid. She can constantly feel everyone's eyes on her. As a rule, she's not opposed to this, but having the attention of McKinley has never worked well for Rachel Berry. It usually means some sort of humiliation.
She's slightly reassured that there's nothing nasty in store for her because of her girlfriend's reputation. However, she also knows the students of McKinley seem to take a perverse delight in embarrassing each other.
Guard up, she cautiously continues her day.
…
Right before lunch, Puck grabs Rachel. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"That you know how to throw knives," Puck says. "You gotta teach me."
"Who told you I know how to throw knives?"
"The whole school's talking about it. If the slushies hadn't already stopped, they definitely would after today. Now people really don't want to piss you off."
"Damn Cheerios," Rachel mutters.
"I'm still pissed at you for not telling me."
"You never asked," Rachel tells him.
"Who asks that?"
"Brittany did," Rachel replies.
"She doesn't count."
"I'll be sure to tell Santana you said that."
"You know what I mean, Berry," Puck replies.
"Noah, while I'm more than qualified to assist people with their singing, I am most definitely not qualified to teach someone how to throw knives. If you'd like, I can put you in touch with my former instructor, Mr. Raymond. Though to be honest, I think you should try and master those nun chucks first, don't you think?"
Puck stares at her for a moment.
"What?"
"I was just wondering if your badass side and your mature, responsible side ever get into arguments in your head. And if so, who usually wins?"
"Very funny, Noah," Rachel replies. "I'm going to sit and eat lunch now."
…
Marisa Lawson has been trying to approach Rachel Berry for over a week now. But every time she tries, Michelle Jamieson is there, hanging off her.
In fact, Marisa has noticed a lot more people flocking around Rachel lately.
She doesn't know what to think about that.
Marisa is currently watching Rachel talk to Puck, a football player, when she's approached by a blonde cheerleader.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Are you waiting for Rachel?"
"Yeah. Kinda," Marisa replies.
"Is it cause she throws knives?"
"Not just cause."
"You're not gonna ask her out, are you? Cause she's dating Santana."
"I know. I just…" Marisa sighs. "She's just really awesome."
"She is."
"And when she was flirting with me before, I just thought maybe I had a chance," Marisa explains.
"Yeah, Rach was acting kinda weird that week."
"I figured that out," Marisa says. "But I've still been wanting to talk to her. Just because."
"I understand. I like talking to Rachel too. But if you start hitting on her like that crazy soccer chick, I'll be forced to throw you in the sewers."
Marisa isn't expecting that. "Uh, okay," she replies, feeling stunned.
"Okay. See you later."
The blonde bounces away, leaving Marisa to stare after her.
…
As expected, the topic of conversation at lunch is Rachel's weekend activities.
"Even though I saw it with my own eyes, I still don't believe it," Kurt says.
"Neither can I."
"Mercedes," Rachel says. "You weren't even there."
"No, but Kurt showed me a video on his phone."
"Kurt!"
"I figured you wouldn't mind," Kurt replies. "Please don't hurt me."
Rachel sighs. "It's fine. I just wish you would have told me you did that."
"Kurt says this is the third year in a row you've won," Tina says. "That is so cool."
"Thanks."
"How come you never said anything?" Artie asks.
"It's no big deal."
"It is," Kurt insists. "We all thought you only lived and breathed singing."
"And where'd you find time to learn in between school, glee and all your lessons?" Mercedes asks.
"There are twenty-four usable hours in every day," Rachel replies.
"Yeah, I guess," Tina says. "But the rest of us were using those hours to be teenagers."
"Yes, well, we all make choices."
…
Rachel is leaving the lunch room when she's approached by Marisa Lawson, one of the girls she flirted with as her stint as Noah.
"Hi Rachel," she says giddily.
"Hello Marisa," Rachel replies. "What can I do for you?"
"Everyone's been talking about you today," Marisa informs Rachel.
"I've noticed," Rachel replies, wryly. "Why is that exactly?"
"All the Cheerios are talking about how badass you are cause you know how to throw knives."
Rachel sighs. "People are so easily impressed."
"So it's true?"
"It is," Rachel confirms. "Though I didn't want anyone to know."
"Why not? It just makes you ten thousand times awesomer."
Rachel cringes at Marisa's grammar. "Perhaps, but that doesn't matter to me."
"Really?" Marisa asks. "Cause a few weeks ago, when you were dressing different--"
"I apologize if I led you on, Marisa," Rachel says. "That was never my intention. I was simply...trying something. And I've heard you're showing excellent promise as a freshman."
"Wow, thanks. That means a lot coming from you," Marisa says. "Wait. Does that mean you lied about that Rachosaurus Sex stuff?"
Rachel nods. "While I am most definitely dating Santana, we have never engaged in a foursome with Quinn Fabray and Brittany Pierce."
"Too bad," Marisa replies. "That might be the hottest thing I've ever heard."
"Thank you?"
"Listen, I know you're dating Santana or whatever," Marisa says. "But if you ever break up. I'm interested."
"You are?"
"I have been ever since I heard you sing last year at Sectionals."
"Ah, yes, well…"
"I'm not asking for anything. I just had to let you know. You know?"
"I do," Rachel nods. "Thanks, I suppose. Good luck in the show next weekend."
"Thanks. It's not the lead or anything, but it's still a pretty big part for a freshman. I'll see you around?"
"You will."
…
After school, Rachel is gathering her things and waiting for Santana when Michelle Jamieson approaches her.
"Hey, Rachel."
"Michelle," Rachel says. "If I was you, I wouldn't be here right now."
"The school's all a buzz about you today."
"Yes, well, it must be a slow gossip day."
"I just wanted to let you know that my offer is still on the table," Michelle says.
"There's no need," Rachel replies. "I won't be taking you up on it."
"I'm not looking for a girlfriend, Rachel," Michelle continues. "But I'm willing to bet that Lopez is the only carpet you've munched--"
"Must you be so vulgar?"
"--and I think it be good for you to experience your other options."
"She doesn't want to experience your options," Santana growls coming up behind Rachel.
"Lopez."
"This is the only warning you're getting from me, Jamieson. Stay the hell away from my girlfriend."
"Hey. She approached me first."
"I don't care. Back off. Or else."
"You can't touch me," Michelle counters. "Sylvester will have your ass for fighting. Especially with me. The girls soccer team is the only other winning team in this dump."
"For you," Santana growls. "I'll make an exception."
"Michelle," Rachel interrupts. "What do I have to do to convince you I'm not interested?"
"You've already given her enough evidence, babe," Santana says.
"Obviously not, if she's still here," Rachel replies.
"I'm just waiting for you to wise up to this one's nefarious ways," Michelle says. "Later, Rachel."
…
Wednesday morning, Rachel knocks on Coach Sylvester's door. Brittany told her that the Coach wanted to see her.
"Have a seat, Berry," Sue says.
Rachel does so.
"I hear you've been having issues with an unwanted admirer. Brittany told me," Sue continues upon seeing Rachel's confused look.
"That would be correct," Rachel replies. "Though the argument could be made that it's my fault. I did make the first move."
"Because you and Puckerman were attempting to convince people you'd switched personalities," Sue says.
"Uh, yes," Rachel says. "How did you know?"
"I figured it out while talking to the both of you during," Sue explains. "You're lucky it ended when it did, because I was prepared to take steps because of the affect it was having on my Cheerios."
"Yes, well--"
"Berry, let me be honest with you," Sue says. "When Lopez started dating you, I had her checked for a concussion. It was the only explanation for the severe lapse of judgment. However, after observing you closely, I realized that I may have underestimated you. I already knew you were a bit of a spitfire, but these past few months you've showed quite the backbone. The knife throwing is just the sprinkles on the icing of the cake, in my mind."
"Thank you?"
"Which is why I'm willing to interfere with your pitiful lives just a bit."
"I don't exactly see how--"
"I'll be having a word with Coach Jordon about her captain's behavior. I believe that will nip the problem in the bud."
"Thank you, Coach Sylvester," Rachel says. "I appreciate it, even if it isn't exactly for me."
Sue smirks. "I almost like you, Berry. You're a lot of things, but at least you're not a moron. Dismissed."
…
Principal Figgins is beginning to regret his open door policy towards his staff. Though he supposes he should be grateful that Sue's not arguing with Will Schuester for once. He can only hear so many hair insults before wanting to tear his own out.
"Sue," Figgins says. "You know damn well, the faculty isn't allowed to dictate who students date."
"Her captain is harassing one of my star Cheerios and it's affecting her performance. I demand that Tasha control her players."
"Michelle is allowed to talk to whomever she likes," Tasha replies. "And unlike your so called Cheerios, my players don't harass other students relentlessly."
"Michelle is."
"Turnabout is fair play."
"Jamieson is harassing Lopez's girlfriend for no reason, and I want it to stop."
"Let me get this straight," Figgins says, finally. "You've come here expecting me to mediate your students' lesbian dramas?"
"Essentially."
"Sue, please leave my office."
"Harassment is a serious issue," Sue insists.
"I agree. And I'd be more sympathetic if your Cheerios were saints, but they're far from it, Sue," Figgins says. "Have them make a formal complaint and I'll see what I can do. Otherwise, get out."
"This isn't over," Sue tells Figgins. "With you either, Tasha."
"Nice talking to you Sue," Tasha calls after her.
…
"So you went crying to your mommy, Lopez," Michelle says, finding Santana at her locker after school.
"What the hell are you talking about, Jamieson?"
"Coach Jordon asked me to stop bothering you and your little girlfriend, today," Michelle explains. "Seems Coach Sylvester is on a rampage in your behalf."
"Well, I didn't ask her to," Santana replies.
"Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"I do," Rachel says, walking up to the pair. "Since I'm the one that went to Coach Sylvester."
"You didn't," Santana says.
"I did."
"Oh Rachel," Michelle says. "I'm starting to think you don't like me."
"I've been thinking it over, Michelle," Rachel says. "And for the life of me, I can't figure out why you're so into me. I mean I know why you would be, I'm talented, intelligent, flexible, badass, and hot. But I've been those things for a while. Your interest in me seems to stem off of Santana's interest. Which begs the question, why."
Santana can only stare as Rachel and Michelle face off. She can tell that Rachel's theory isn't that far off and so desperate to know why, she keeps quiet.
Michelle breaks first. "Fine," she sighs. "Your guys' freshman year, my twin brother asked Lopez out. Not only did she say no, but she humiliated him in the middle of the lunch room. He's been a loner ever since. I've been waiting years for revenge. When Lopez became serious about you, I saw my chance."
"I see," Rachel says. "And where is your brother now?"
"Getting ready to leave, I'm sure."
"Will you please summon him here?" Rachel asks.
"Why?"
"Because Santana is going to apologize to him."
"I'm what?!" Santana exclaims.
"I know her brother, Santana," Rachel says. "He's a lovely young man, but he's also considered a bigger loser than myself. And if that was your doing, you owe him an apology." Rachel turns to Michelle who has just finished texting. "I know it's a weak gesture, but I hope it'll be enough."
"That's his call, not mine."
"Fair enough."
…
Moments later, Matthew Jamieson is standing in front of them. Santana vaguely recognizes him, though she's not sure if it's a memory or if she's just seen him around.
"Hello, Matthew," Rachel says.
"Hi Rachel."
"Michelle was just informing us of your history with Santana."
"Michelle," he hisses.
"I was trying to avenge you, dumbass."
"Santana is no longer the über bitch she was freshman year," Rachel says. "And so, if it's all right with you, she wants to apologize for her previous, thoughtless actions."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Santana shrugs. "I'm sorry. I was just a stupid freshman trying to be popular. I shouldn't have turned you down so viciously. But in my defense, you probably shouldn't have asked me out in front of everyone."
"Perhaps," Matthew says. "I am glad you said no, though. You're way too bitchy for me."
"That's probably true," Santana allows.
"So you'll be leaving me alone, now?" Rachel asks Michelle.
"Yeah, I guess," Michelle replies. "Though, I wasn't kidding about finding you hot, Rachel. If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."
With that Michelle drags Matthew away.
"You bet I do," Rachel mutters.
"Jesus, that's it," Santana says. "You are so getting that tattoo."
"It's your fault that we were even in this situation," Rachel tells her.
"Oh please, like it's my fault Jamieson wanted to avenge her brother."
"Well, if you were a bit nicer--"
"Then you wouldn't be with me," Santana interrupts. "And you know it."
"That's not true," Rachel says. "But I'm still not getting a tattoo."