WONDERFUL NEWS!
I HAVE BEEN GRANTED EMPLOYMENT!
[He momentarily goes all shiny eyed and weepy looking, hands clasped beneath his chin.] Th-This is such an opportunity for me! Never before have I known the complete and utter happiness of going it on my own! It is like a dream come true! And, better still, I have TWO jobs! I am now just like
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I'll keep an eye out for the ink you're looking for the next time I go out. What do you use it for?
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Oh, that would be much appreciated! I am putting together a book of Beautiful and Wonderful Things to be Appreciated in the city! It has recently come to my attention that no one is able to see the loveliness of their surroundings here, so I have taken it upon myself to direct their thinking. I made a book for Mr. Edgeworth, but then I forgot some very beautiful things, so I am working on the sequel. But I am thinking of mass producing them, because everyone could stand to appreciate beauty more, don't you think?
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[he laughs] If that book is for Edgeworth, I'm sure he'll need it. He takes things too seriously at times. Mass producing them could be good, but won't you first need a big capital for that?
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That's what I said! He needs it! Do you know, he has spent over a year in Paris and never went to the Eiffel Tower? He said he didn't need to! Inexcusable! He is incapable of seeing beauty at this time, but he will know it as an old friend by the time that I am done with him! Er, well, I was going to start small and produce them myself at first, and then eventually use the increasing popularity of my name to secure money to do the rest! I am going to be quite famous very shortly, you know!
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Heh. Congratulations! You'll be uh...a great greeter, you sound cut out for making people feel...er, right at home.
I think I've finally got a job too, I've just got to show up today and make sure the real manager okays it, tests me out and everything.
So wait, you're actually a father? You look a little young to be- The pull took you away from your kids?
And what do you need so much ink for?
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Ah, yes--my dear daughter Haruhi is likely quite beside herself in my absence! It is tragic, and a little painful to think of, but she is very brave as well as sweet mostly, and so I am sure she will "soldier on", as they say. I would love for her to be here with me, to see me have all these wonderful commoner's experiences that she is already so familiar with... but alas, it is not to be!
Oh, I am compiling books of Beautiful and Wonderful Things to be appreciated in this city! The red ink is for the title pages and chapter headings. I wrote one already, but I am making the sequel now. They are for a specific person right now, but I will be mass producing them quite soon, I think! Are you interested?
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You seem pretty...not worried about it. I'm sorry you two are far apart. So you're waiting for her to show up here? If you're a greeter, at least you'll be first to know.
Oh. Hnh. Well I know somebody who might like something like that.. What's tops on your list so far?
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Well, there isn't much I can do about it, yes? And I am sure she is being cared for by the rest of our lovely family!
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Er, when you say "we"... Well, never mind! I have important things to say that people need to be aware of! I suppose I could make fliers and post them around the city, but that would seem rather silly and would take a great deal of time. So this seems the easiest way, yes? Plus, I need red ink.
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And this is many things, to be sure, but none of them are UNNECESSARY! Quite to the contrary, in fact, I find such an effort to be extremely necessary. Soon you will realize how wrong you are!
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IS IT A CHALLENGE, MR. EDGEWORTH? Because I must warn you, I thrive on challenges! You could say I eat them for breakfast, except you would be wrong, because I enjoy a great many things for breakfast, but it is impossible to eat something like a challenge since it isn't really a food.
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Yes, additional caution might be wise! I have never had to hire my own bodyguards before--I wonder how one does it?
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You could put an ad in the paper, or ask around? I'm good at fighting; I'll watch over you if you want. I owe you for helping me anyway, and if I can't pay you back, this is the least I can do.
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Ah, nonsense, you do not "owe me"! It is my solemn duty to assist any and all causes, especially hopeless ones! But... then again... Hm! Well, what do you mean when you say that you are "good at fighting"? You--hurt people?
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