One of our marketing managers took a bet of 10$ for every minute she could burn time talking non-sense before the CMO got annoyed. She received 20$ for talking about paint-chips.

I received a prank call while driving home the other day. He spoke in a thick Middle Eastern accent.

Me: hello?
Pranker: You have to listen to me carefully. Lock your door and make sure no one can hear you. Do you understand?
Me: Yeah, doors are locked.
Pranker: There is a tracking device on your computer. You have to disable it. Do you ( Read more... )

I went to the Castro Valley library for the first time in 5 years ( Read more... )

I'm going to join...no...START a roller disco team and I want you to be apart of it.

"But Erik...what will our theme song be?! I won't join unless I know the theme song."

Got you covered kids.

Lace up.

“Where did he go?” said the frustrated mother, tired of shopping, and moreover, tired of being a mother ( Read more... )

About a half a minute went by before I realized I had fallen into a well-crafted letsbefriend speech. I bolted from the car thinking that if I just ran from her I’d somehow escape it. Instead I ran through the rain and slipped on a sour epiphany, wheeled through the air, and landed staring up into an unsympathetic street lamp on Durant and

I found myself singing to myself on the toilet at work for the 2nd time this week. I quickly stopped myself for fear of being overheard - of being discovered. And, for the 16th time this week, I questioned whether I’d make it in life.

I waited at the crosswalk, dressed as a giant ketchup bottle, with the many other Halloweeners making my way from BART to Castro Street. On the opposite side of the street stood a lone mustard bottle. I saw him, he saw me, and when the light when green we ran into the middle of the street, embraced, and jumped around in circles because only fate ( Read more... )

At work I exploited a commonly misspelled keyword, "masion poker", so that PokerSavvy.com is number one in Google for that search. The exploit has done better than both of our ad campaigns combined.

We both motioned to our razor scooters and sheepishly grinned before I caught my train going east and she took hers going west - possibly to a place were riding around on a razor scooter was social expectable past the age of 13. I know it’s a lie, but I need more hope in my life, especially when I’d trade my dignity to save 20 minutes on my ( Read more... )