lonley?

yeah me too.

i wish things were the way i wanted them to be, but they cant be.

fact: i push people away that i love and treat them badly....

what is love....im not so sure anymore.

death would be so easy if your body didnt try so hard to keep you alive

what does thinking hard get you....

whats the point?

my theripst once told me that the way a person's room looks reflects on how a person feels on the inside. and when parents always want their kids to clean their rooms, they really just want them to clean themselves up i guess.

i was thinking about this while i was cleaning my room today becuase i thought my friend sydni was going to come over and i ( Read more... )

i wrote this 1/18/06

"God where are they?" hailey asked vikki as they were waiting for their love interests to arrive. "i dont know and who cares, they'll be here with alcohol soon" vikki replied. she pulled out an altoids tin from inside her side drawer."here, lets do a couple lines while we wait, and dont call him hailey youll only look ( Read more... )

ugh do i hate stress. isnt it beautiful outside. doesnt it make you happy just looking at it. i am, but ive always loved looking at nature.

life is getting tougher and ive realized how on edge i am so im trying to get help but i dont think it's going to work. who am i kidding, i was ment for destruction ever since i was born and i think that this ( Read more... )

i want to go to sleep and never wake up.

my head hurts, and so does my heart.

im feeling so trapped so lost. i dont know what to do.

i hate being here, i hate so much, im just sick of the fakness, im sick of it all and i dont want to deal with it. but i cant leave. i dont have the money, or the transportation and i could get a job but, i would need transportation, and i have to go to ( Read more... )

my feelings reflect on my body, im tired. my body is heavy,  lazy, there is no need to be energetic, my life is a lie and everyone knows it.

well i realized how liked i really am this weekend, and not a lot. i really dont have that many friends, people who care as i thought. i have people who try to help, i love them so much, but it isnt enough ( Read more... )

ive been so happy latley i forgot what it's like to be sad...

i wouldnt have known even if i tried. what have i become...i have all i need  but oh my God what am i going to do when he's gone. im so scared, i was a pussy last year, sad over nothing...what about now...God im so scared, i know i know live good while it lasts, but whats happening now, ( Read more... )

i guess i was wrong. im glad i was. all this time i spent heartless helped me, but now it's time to move on. im feeling what ive never felt before and yeah it's scary and it's not going to last forever, but it's worth it.

ive been thinking so much about love latley and im come to the conclusion that there are 2 kinds of people in this world... ( Read more... )

when is this going to end. i feel it. i know it's coming and how depressing to think about so i try not to.

and ive been evaluating myself only to find things that i dont really like. im such a terrible person. the things i do and the way i feel. the feelings i have impare my judgement and just messes up everything messes up my everything.

and i ( Read more... )