"lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off"
when is this going to end. i feel it. i know it's coming and how depressing to think about so i try not to.
and ive been evaluating myself only to find things that i dont really like. im such a terrible person. the things i do and the way i feel. the feelings i have impare my judgement and just messes up everything messes up my everything.
and i used to care so much i used to listen, but now i avoid it...why? im not "bad" anymore, maybe because im not sad, it's not nessacary, i dont need it, i have something else. but damnit, im losing everything else im fucking over everyone and it wont be long before they actually let me go...then ill have nothing
it's scary and i dont know how to stop it, i dont know how to be a better person....all i know is what i was and what i am and no matter what it seems like no one is ever happy even if i am.
thank you all for the love i didnt deserve.