I've been told more than once that I am manipulative. It’s something I dealt with a lot in college, and I suspect that I lost more than one friend to this accusation. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, and I've concluded that I'm not ( Read more... )

If it heals, I might forget. I can't afford to forget.

It bothers me a lot that I am so often not seen for my value. I'm seen and judged upon my fat gut, or my double chin, or my lack of athletic ability (which is more of a judgment than a fact). Most people never see the deep, loving heart. They see a fat face or a hypersensitive, high maintenance girl instead of a serious, sensitive, passionate woman ( Read more... )

There is a story inside of me that I don't know how to tell. Words come, but they can't contain it. They can't really say it in a way that I think anyone would understand. But it needs to come out of me, so I will try, and you, the few, faithful people who still read this can maybe understand ( Read more... )

Relationships are difficult. True, deep relationships, the ones that change you forever, are especially difficult. They require as much of your self as you can possibly offer and more. They grieve you every day by stretching and pushing and requiring difficult change. They grieve you simply for the love; the worry and empathy that come with deep ( Read more... )

Well here I am again with my life even worse than the last time I wrote. I think a little more seriously about suicide each day. In one week I pissed off my entire family, wasted hundreds of dollars making a trip for a friend, failed and let that friend down big time, broke my phone, and had my car break down. If there is good in this life, I don't ( Read more... )

I have no love anymore. Nothing is beautiful or good. There is only hate and hurt and fear. I am not known or seen or heard. Only one person ever really knew me, but he doesn't care to anymore. I no longer have a purpose. He said he couldn't be my reason to live. Well he was whether he liked it or not. And now he's gone. And everything else just ( Read more... )

As I return from Ragnarok to my normal life, I realize something - I don’t enjoy my life. I used to; at least I did for a few brief months there, but it all feels like a dream now - like a delusion that I always knew I would awaken from someday. I think someday is here.

It’s not even that I’m depressed like usual - my typical depression ( Read more... )

I'm seriously thinking about getting a vertical labret. What do you think?

( Read more... )

I'm not sure I've felt this satisfied and fulfilled in years ( Read more... )