oh fuck oh fuck. ever say something, then immediatly regret it? i wish we could wait, and just sort our shit out, and not be so damn serious, and wait and see what happens. I don't want it to be over. I don't fucking want everything to be over, cause it never even fucking started. My head's a mess, time to go start cleaning. It's going to be very ( Read more... )

I can't even write right now. i can't think, i can't stop shaking. I just want to wake up, and have this all just be a bad dream. i don't want to say i'll just walk away. i don't want to mean it. it will fucking tear me to pieces to walk away from you. i won't be the same person anymore ( Read more... )

Canada fucking sucks these days. All I seem to do, is laze about, work work work workworkworkwork, and answer MILLIONS (or maybe dozens, i dunno) of questions about the impending marriage. And when i have to tell stories about how we met, and how we fell in love, and how long we've known eachother, fuck!!! i miss you more than i miss my fucking leg ( Read more... )

Fuck. I can't believe i forgot to give you that letter before you left. It's been like what, 4-5 days already? shit. Everything is so weird without you. quiet, and weird. I've never missed someone like this before. I have this hollow feeling in my guts, and all the mustard, and bologna, and dope, and liquor and smokes in the world can't seem to ( Read more... )

or something. bored waitin for scab to wake up. finally found a place, and its badass. i could write pages and pages and pages on what im thinking right now, but i need some time to figure it all out in my head first i think. but it is fucking awesome out here.

well, shit is shit.

My buddy clayton is still missing. goin on a week now. they called the search off this morning. i have no way to get to the service on tuesday, and im all fuckin torn up. im gunna go pawn my guitars, and see if that will get me up there. i don't fuckin know anymore.

srsly. and im feeling fantastic. jobjobjobjob.

its noon. i can't fucking see straight. Shit is... improving. I'm not gunna let myself get bogged down with shit anymore. That's why i made things are like they are right now. Cut the dead weight, new and improved. Fuck false friends, and fuck basically everything. I have a goal. Nothing is going to get in the way of this. And i mean, fucking

So fucking tired of everything. Tired of being such a nice guy. Tired of being pushed around, tired of being walked all over. Fuck everything.

i don't know where to start. im not sure where my life's headed anymore. i had such a clear goal in mind, but it doesn't seem so desirable anymore. im completly dissatisfied with school. I don't enjoy it (like i was supposed to lol ), im hardly learning anything new. and the end result? i just don't know. i mean, i don't really want to work these ( Read more... )